I've posted here before about my husband's fecal incontinence. I took him to a gastroenterologist, but didn't get any practical advice. The doctor suggested Metamucil or something with banana flakes. He has very soft (but not watery) stool and never seems to know in advance. It usually happens in the middle of the night. He is stage5-6 dementia.
Here's what I need to know: When is best to give him Pepto Bismol or Metamucil so that he's more likely to have a bowel movement during the day instead oF night? Before meals? Mid-afternoon? First thing in the morning?
Any other practical advice gratefully accepted!
As for moving him into care, as long as I'm physically able, I'll care for him at home, with some outside help. I'm much more fit than he is. If I had children, or outside interests, it would be a different story. But reading and gardening (when the weather is nice) are my only interests. I'm making adjustments, and learning how to deal with things as they crop up, but I'm mostly happy and glad to be with him. We've been married for 56 years and I can't imagine life without him.
Metamucil will not reliably trigger a bowel movement at a particular hour. Psyllium absorbs water and firms/bulks loose stool gradually; its effect generally takes one to three days, so consistent daily timing matters more than the exact hour.
But I agree with funkygrandma59, that in the end it may just be his broken brain at work and it won't be easily controlled. I'm sorry you have to endure this. May you have success and peace in your heart on this journey.
Of course you can have him sit on the toilet everytime after he eats for a bit but there's no guarantee that that will help.
It reminds me when my late husband(who had dementia) had aspiration pneumonia and almost died. The neurologist in the ER told me that because my husband had dementia that his brain was no longer telling his throat to close when he was eating or drinking thus allowing both to go directly into his lungs.
The same could be said for your husband. His brain is no longer letting him know when he has to poop thus allowing it to just come out whenever.
Often incontinence of either kind will be the straw that breaks the camels back, so if it's getting to be too much for you now, it may be time to look into getting your husband placed in a memory care facility where he'll be looked after 24/7 and changed when needed and you can get back to just being his loving wife.
Don't forget that you matter too in this equation.
Giving it to him in the morning is most common but dividing the dosage into 3X before meals is also recommended, psyllium is simply fiber and an attempt to help solidify his stool. I wouldn't use the pepto at all unless he was having explosive wet diarrhea.
I'd also try to give him time on the toilet after breakfast in an attempt to normalize his bowel habits.
I would go for something I would call “cloggo” myself, not an over-the-counter “nice to try”. If you don’t want to switch doctors, I would ask the trained pharmacologist at the chemist shop for their recommendation.