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I think your Dad is further along than u realize. He is not competant if he is doing something like this. Have a history of hallucinations is not good. He needs a nuerologist to evaluate him. I agree that now is the time if you haven't gotten POA. Dementia is a tricky thing, overnight they can have an "episode" that throws them even further into dementia. A stay in the hospital or rehab can do the same thing.
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aebuell, sadly with dementia there is nothing one can say to the elder that will make him stop this practice.... until he stops this and goes into the next phase of dementia, whatever that would be.

The only suggestion is to hire a male Aide to help him.
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I have a sexually inappropriate FIL with advanced dementia living with me. It's no picnic. You've gotten good advice about making sure you have POA and take what control you have over his assets, because it's very easy to manipulate a sexually-fixated person. My FIL, for example, believes he's in love with me, that we are having an affair, and says he would do anything, give anything to me. Imagine if 1) his children were not POA and control his accounts, and 2) I wanted to take advantage.

Early in trying to figure out how to manage Dad, I gave a shot at playing along with him and just "laughed it off." It didn't work. That just encouraged him. The only thing he remembered was that I "led him on." So that was a fail. What works best is to remind him what's inappropriate, even if he responds that he doesn't care, or that his son is okay with it, and avoid being around him as much as possible. As a caretaker, of course, I cannot completely avoid him because I serve breakfast and lunch, and dinner for when my husband comes home. But I don't sit with him to watch TV (he just leers at me and makes suggestive oral gestures) or make small talk (he just wants to tell me what he wants to do to me). No, I make myself scarce by doing my work around a corner or upstairs. He forgets I'm there and falls asleep. We've been doing this for over a year now. It takes a dedicated caregiver to put up with this kind of behavior, but there are ways, often very individual ways, to make co-existence possible.
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I'm glad you are honestly facing the facts of his issues. It sounds like your father has a sexual addition that is feeding his brain dopamine. This is the same thing that happens when people use drugs or alcohol, and its tough to break. It is a real addiction, possibly started by psychological needs, but it becomes physical. He's not going to let this go easily, and it might be his subsitute for alcohol since he had trouble in the past.

In the meantime, I would make sure he has assigned durable POA to you, and get you on the broker and checking accounts ASAP. Notify broker and bank of his increasing dementia, and have all his mail and money statements go to a post office box that you have the only key to. Hire an agency to take care of his staff needs, and tell them to send men if possible. If you hire an agency across the board, the person who is trying to financially abuse him will have no reason to visit if the money is also inaccessible.
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Thank you for the response. I did talk to him, he did know exactly what I was talking about, and he was embarrassed and apologized. As far as "new behavior"... I don't know if I'd say that's entirely true. A couple of years ago he did a rehab stay at a nursing home. The director told me that he made the aids very uncomfortable by openly watching porn on his tablet while they were attending to him. She was nice about it, though.

Also someone who knows one of the girls who is currently working for him also contacted me on Facebook. She said that she believes this woman has my dad believing she is his girlfriend in order to take advantage of him. If true (and I don't doubt it) I believe my dad probably encourages her behavior regardless of whether or not he has some awareness that he's being taken advantage of.

Also, I've found sex toys (like masturbation aids) around the house. My dad's had a drinking problem for many decades and I wouldn't put this type of behavior with the girls past him even before the dementia set in. I still can't really say I believe this is 100% dementia related. He is definitely remorseful about propositioning my friend's daughter but I still wonder if it's because he got caught.
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Inappropriate behavior, including sexual behavior, is common in dementia. The social filters we have learned all of our lives begin to erode with dementia. A person who would never insult strangers suddenly says aloud in a restaurant, "Look at how fat that busboy is!" And a person who would not make an off-color remark suddenly is groping his aide.

Yikes! This can be very uncomfortable for the caregiver and for anyone who is on the receiving end.

Try to prevent situations where the inappropriate behavior can occur. It is not likely that you can "teach" a person with dementia appropriate behaviors -- those filters are gone, and the ability to learn is diminished. And yet aides, daughters, visitors, strangers in the grocery store all have the right to respect and to avoid unwanted attention. Caregivers have to be very creative!

I also suggest talking to his doctor about these new behaviors.
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