Recently there have been number of scolding posts that imply selfishness and ingratitude on the part of tired, worn-out, strung-out caregivers. The argument is: your mama took care of you and now you have the nerve to complain about taking care of her?
So, I ask you: is this really a parallel?
Of course, there are similarities: the physical care, the trips to the doctor, the worrying, the medications, the sleepless nights, the responsibility that goes on for a decade or two-ish.
But I would argue this as well:
When my mom took care of me, she was in her twenties and, at the time she needed to lift me up, I weighted about 10-15 pounds.
She changed my diapers but only for a couple of years and I was still pretty light to lift.
As a child I could eat, drink, dress myself, move objects, make phone calls, and leave the house for many hours a day on my own.
I was pretty cheeky at the age of twelve but i did not have a driver's license, a check book and a credit card. I was not in a position to spend all of the family fortune/college/retirement money on clothes, jewelry and records.
Also and significantly, I was getting ready to go out into the word to have a life, which brought much joy and, ultimately, travel into my parents' lives.
Plus young people look forward to that new bundle of joy, who's mind wasn't already set, the child evolves into an adult with all new skills so they can go out on their own... we can be proud and very happy. An elderly parent who has age decline or memory issues is going backwards... it breaks our heart.