Christmas is a season for giving to others. If you are a caregiver, what would you most like to receive in appreciation for your services?
I was a caregiver to my parents for many years. There were many warm and loving times with my family. Like any other family we had challenging times too.
As the years went by, many times I felt overlooked or unappreciated. It seems like we fall into routines and are often taken for granted.
At times, I felt lost and confused, frustrated and even angry. Most of all I felt exhausted!
It meant everything to me when I was told by my parents and others that I was appreciated. A sincere, ‘Thank you!’ goes a long way.
I know that caregivers need a lot more than kind words to survive. They need time for themselves and appropriate help.
One particular Christmas, my niece gave me a lovely gift that included all sorts of sweet treats inside, chocolates, bath products, nail polish, gift cards, etc. which I appreciated very much. She included a beautiful card that she tucked inside with a handwritten letter telling me that she recognized all of my efforts. It brought tears to my eyes.
I also received lots of help from fellow and former caregivers from AgingCare website. I am truly appreciative of the warmth and support that you offered. Therapy helped as well as an in person support group for caregivers.
Some people feel that people who give selflessly should not expect anything in return. I don’t agree with this. Everyone deserves to be appreciated by those they are caring for or the families who hire them. Otherwise, resentment and despair builds up and it can cause devastating effects for the caregiver.
Sometimes I felt invisible as the caregiver. Some people who spoke to me only inquired about my mom, and never asked how I was holding up.
At times we hear about caregivers who consider it an honor or privilege to care for others. Oh gosh, I can’t say that I felt this way. I cared about my parents wellbeing but it was emotionally draining for me.
Every time I turn around I see ads for caregivers. It’s a tough job! Often a thankless one too.
I would love to read responses from all caregivers, past and present. What do you want this Christmas and throughout the year?
I placed this under family caregiver because I didn’t see any other fit. I would love to hear from any and all caregivers, family, facility and hospice workers.
Caregivers, what changes in attitude would you like to see?
If you are a family member please chime in too.
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I know I would've loved receiving a gift basket like this myself, so I hope they're well received by my loved ones this year. Just wanted to do something different.
Caregiving is a VERY hard job, and my hat is off to everyone who's doing it for a loved one.
Time off where you can truly escape and enjoy a different atmosphere is even better! Even if it’s only a weekend getaway.
My niece is an incredible person because she has been through a lot herself, both with her parents and having a child with special needs. Her circumstances have made her very aware of others.
let me guess, the question is always:
“can you do this for me?”
and without a please.
The holiday means different things to different people or nothing at all.
For some it is a season of giving. Others find it too commercial and stressful and glad when it’s over.
I hope all caregivers will have at least one of their holiday wishes come true, if not during the holiday season then some time in the near future.
When my brothers told me they appreciated what I did for Mom, it was a big thing. One's wife had thyroid cancer and the other lived 7 hrs away. Appreciation from the one ur caring for, too. People need to understand that no one is obligated, other than paid Caregivers, to care for them. It is really is a gift. My Mom, as long as she was able, always said thank you.
Homemade goodies are the best!
and a cup of coffee.
i’m not asking for much.
A change of scenery can break the monotony and help to renew energy.
It would have been wonderful if the family had been willing to travel to our home to spend the day and share a pot luck or some other simple meal, but it never happened. Even if we'd rolled mom to the corner of the room and she slept most of the day away it would have felt very meaningful to me.
So, it’s not like they can hop in the car to visit others.
If hospice is ordered for them, they no longer go anywhere.
Yes! A break from cooking would always be welcome to many caregivers.
I do plan to give our two wonderful aides $100 each for the Holidays just from me. I also gave them each $50 for working Thanksgiving. I’m sure my parents will give something too but I want them to know I appreciate their kindness and generosity of spirit. I am so grateful to them for taking such good care of my parents.
Later on, mom qualified for a few hours of help through Council on Aging. Have you contacted them in your area?
Since that isn't going to happen I booked the pre Christmas getaway for my
family.
No one needs a heavy dose of guilt. It can be hard to ignore certain comments from people who want to make others feel guilty.
No I'm just kidding but some money would be nice
for me: foot rub.
Foot massages are fantastic!
My late mother received a lovely Gallery raincoat for her final Christmas from our out of state family. After she passed away, I inherited this valuable clothing after My Years of caring for her!
If I was a caregiver today, I would appreciate some recognition that would last a lifetime, such as a nice handwritten card and a pretty container with a lid to hold jewelry or other things in it. A Starbucks cup with it's own lid to carry drinks on the go or store drinks at home. If too expensive, a nice vase will do.
I've gotten plenty of those in my time too. It's a very nice gift of appreciation.
As professional caregiver holiday appreciation, everyone's favorite color is green. If you appreciate what I do for you, express your appreciation in two ways.
The first way is with beautiful cash. Benjamin Franklin is the most handsome image there is to me. His portrait on a 100 dollar bill is like seeing a male Mona Lisa to me.
The second way is to honor your agreements with me and keep your word. If I tell you I'm taking whatever days off for the holidays, you work that out.
Don't pull anything cute like trying to guilt me into working or by thinking that I'll just watch your "loved one" and do for them on a holiday because no other arrangements have been made.
You'd be surprised how many families simply ignore the fact that they will have to make holiday or vacation care arrangements for their LO. Many agencies don't bother to either. That in ignoring it and doing nothing, the caregiver will step up and come to work.
I will not, Many families agency supervisors and clients alike have learned this the hard way.
My care business is still small and new. My clients already know that my girls have Christmas and New Year's Day off if they want it and that they will have to make other arrangements. Three girls so far are working the holidays. We're paying them double-time plus a hundred dollar bonus. The ones who aren't, it's for the families and clients to make other arrangements.
tired of seeing folks say “we just give the caregiver a nice card and chocolates”. Especially when it comes to a sibling who provides no care gaslighting people
to think it’s normal that the sibling caregiver isn’t paid bc they’re “family” and are shown verbal appreication. A verbal thank you, card, chocolates are a nice gesture but don’t take the place of payment. Same thing w agencies who underpay their caregivers so the corporate can line their pockets w even more money than they already have, is disgusting and immoral
I wish more people would see this for what it is, a tactic to manipulate others to believe caregivers shouldn’t be compensated or paid - and since majority of folks who say this have a personal interest to preserve as much money as possible ( one way is by underpaying or not paying the sibling caregiver) in order to HAVE MORE MONEY for their selfish selves one day. Appreciation and a nice thank you card are fine but don’t be gaslighted to believe this suffices in place of payment. Do we give a thank you card to a gardener, mechanic, housekeeper, nanny INSTEAD of payment? Of course not, caregivers are equally recognized as a service provider and the word “care” does not equate to not being paid.