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I just thought of somethin I can't get out of my head "We aren't soldiers, but us caregivers can take a STAND!"
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Caregiving is priceless, just as childcare is, family members, young or old should make no difference. Thank you!
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family is priceless, I am old school, you take care of your own, I raised 5 kids basically on my own, now I take care of my parents, but I am not going to die prematurely and leave my kids and grandbabies due to receiving no help from anyone.... that is just the way I feel..
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Twinlaura, I feel the same way. For some reason I feel there are groups in our society, that make me feel at least, that the only family that is real family is the adult children's parents. Everyone else is just a casualty.
And the really heartbreaking aspect is when you see questions posted about verbally or physically abusive seniors who the posters say have been that way their entire lives. So in many cases, these are not always loving, giving individuals we are talking about. I do realize there however are exceptions. However, to play the other side of the card, how could a loving parent even ask their child to quit their job, lose their pension or social security, go into bankruptcy or lose their home?
Maybe it's just because I have been through a version of this same play 20 years ago and am going through it again with just a different set of actors that I already know how the play ends.
My heart goes out to anyone that caregiving has ruined financially.
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The financial problems associated with caregiving are real. Most Americans can not provide on going care for extended periods of years without working themselves or the elder having money to pay for parts of the cost. This will only get worse as many baby boomers will enter retirement with limited retirement funds in 401k. Our parents benefited from defined benefit retirement plans which unlike 401k's had a guaranteed monthly income all the days of their lives. What happens to baby boomers and their caregiving children if the boomer's 401k runs out of money at say 80 yrs old?

We are in uncharted waters. Some families already face this problem or worse when the elder has no pension and only a small social security or SSI payment. Most costs associated with in home care are funded by the elder or their caregiver.

We need to develop a better method of helping the elderly and their caregivers.
Elizabeth
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this is true Elizabeth, I fear for my children and 3 grandbabies...
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Each situation is different. I have acquired years of experience caring for my Mother whenever she has been sick. Every ICU and Cardiac Hospital visit, I have been there. The reason my caregiving knowledge is so vast, is because I have taken time from my job, my home, my life... to physically be wherever my Mother needs to be to make sure she is treated right. And believe me I would NOT trade our time together whether it be in the hospital or sitting and chatting, having a bite to eat... for anything in this world. There would be times when months would go by and she would have no issues, just a little fluid on her lungs, or her blood pressure was running a bit too high, and a few days rest would take care of that. Then in 2006 I believe was the first year I was told my Mother had a small Stroke. Who would have known that led to a couple more through the years, and on January 13, 2011, my Mother suffered a massive hemmorrhage stroke in the back of her brain, that has left her paralyzed on her left side, non-verbal, with a trach. God has kept Mom here even when she wanted to give up. No matter what all of the surgeries, bouts of pneumonia, even contracting MRSA from the hospital, my Mom is still here fighting. I said all of that to say that it is not and has not been easy for me, especially having 7 other siblings who don't lift a finger to help out., but they didn't when Mom was home. What I am saying to anyone who is or needs to be a caregiver, you make things work. Bills for Mom, I pay them off in installments by simply calling and making the arrangements. I teleworked a couple of months, before nosey co-workers started trying to get the same consideration. I will admit I have ignored by physical well being for quite sometime, but I am back on track trying to eat healthy, and rest when I can.
Through the grace of God, Mom is off the ventilator, has been responding by nodding her head fo over a year now. You have to be a very special person to caregive, but if your heart is in it, and you Love that person you will do whatever you have to for them. I DO.
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I definitely agree with Lizann, we do need to find ways to help our sick family members and their Dedicated Caregivers.
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sugarplum I feel for you, but I am NOT in your situation! I am sure there is another place u can write your feelings to people with your situation....
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I live in our condo in CA where both of our names are on the deed as a joint ownership. Thank God that Mom had set up a legal trust with a medical directive and a POA. I am the POA to pay her bills for her, and my brother in OR is my alternative. Since Mom is now not occupying our condo and I no longer have her financial contributions, I see financial some problems down the road unless I am able to find a permanent job due to the economy. No luck for such a job since February 2012. I am now working a temporary as-needed job that may stop at any time. Even though our mortgage has been paid off, I still have to pay the condo unit's monthly association dues, the annual real estate property taxes and fire insurance, the phone bills, utilities, my own individual health insurance (no group plan without permanent work), car maintenance, food and other necessary personal and emergency items while trying to survive on unemployment insurance for about a year plus my own personal savings. I am only 57 and way too young for retirement. If I do not find permanent work soon, I may be forced to consider renting out one of our rooms to get myself by, but no Social Security will be funded out of this income option. There could be just one catch here: Mom is very upset that our family and I have moved her into a board-and-care arrangement for her required 24-hour care at age 93, and yes, I have been bullied because she thinks I'm responsible for moving her out. She has threatened to force me to move out of our unit, but without a permanent job or any adaquate source of income to support our condo and myself, and additionally, unable to sell our unit, I have nowhere to go unless I am forced by court-appointed order to sell our unit and relocate to a family's residence out-of-state.
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