Been 8yr caregive for MIL w/Alheimer's. Husband does nothing to help. Help me!. I can't go back. Have begged husband to put MIL in in-patient mem-care. Her ins. + Vet's income wll pay all, though takes awhile to get Vets. Ins. alone pays 80% for 100 days/yr., He won't even do that just to give me a break. I just can NOT go gack to house with her there. My husband SAYS and SAYS and SAYS (empty words!) he'll help, but he never does. I'm already taking Effexxor and Klonopin because of her, and am stilll a mess. I just can NOT do this any more. I left. I just packed up and ran away. Now and told him to call my cell when his mother either died or he put her into in-[atient care.Now what do I do?
Take care of yourselves - all of you. You're the best!
Carol
It's interesting how, with no further encouragement from Mimsey, we all JUMPED at the chance to tell a caregiver to get out and not come back. Do you think we might be living out our fantasies through her?
While we can all tell you BRAVO Mimsey for walking away, you have to live your life in whatever way you choose. Please just know that we are thinking about you and praying for you and the other members of your family!
God Bless You All!
Dear heart,
THANK YOU for rescuing yourself!
You set perfectly reasonable, firm limits on other's use of your time, resources & self.
Of course, others will not understand--at first...may get mad, may act out, etc...
...they want you to go back to the same-old-same-old destructive spot you had been in, to take yet more mistreatment.
It IS mistreatment, when those around you, who could help, don't.
STICK to your good, reasonable limits--
--otherwise, others will understand immediately, that you never really meant it about needing help, a break, relief, anything...and it kicks the door open for yet more abuse of you by others.
STICK TO YOUR LIMITS!
Frankly, even spouses who may otherwise seem sweet and wonderful, may not be so, as when under pressure in scenes like yours, they show themselves.
IF they will treat you like this under these circumstances, what will they treat you like when you need help and advocacy?
It seems caregiving elders at home, can often cause unstable partnerships to finally break.
OTH, it may help those who've been struggling with things over time, to become stronger, as we work through our issues more productively, prodded by the issues of caregiving stressors.
Please take care of YOU!
If you need it, get some good counseling, so you can learn better coping skills.
You can poke around online for many things that help...someone on this site posted about narcissistic mothers--it could be very helpful--could be someone else is narcissistic-- or not, if that's not what's going on.
{{hugs!}}
the site administrator......so they can get her IP address.......what country do you
think this is russia........some of your people amaze me in the worst possible way!