I don't like being with her for long. She had a car crash about seven years ago and was drinking and hid the alcohol from the cops and called my brother to come get her when I was out of town with my husband. She said she would get help but never did. We did an intervention with her and she still has a drink during a holiday but that's not okay with me because she contracted Hep. C. in the hospital during a blood transfusion after the accident. She also has a metal back brace inside her now. She quit taking her oxycodone about three weeks ago now. Two of those weeks I was helping her do everything. Then, she ended up in the ER last Sunday and just came home last night after being on the mental health care floor. She is going to be having treatment soon for the hep c and almost died last time she tried and is scared. She could not do anything for herself then and I know it will be the same this time. Also, now she says she knows she needs more help with things like her daily routine and household help because she does not have the pain meds to help her do things she did before. I cannot be the only one to do this. But for her everything is treated like it's an emergency even if it is just dusting or vacuuming. I created an outline for a chore chart where myself, my husband, my stepfather, and my brother can sign up to help get things done (we have yet to even fill it in) but I know I will still end up doing the bulk of the work. My brother works and so does my stepfather and my husband is disabled. And my stepfather does not understand how weak she is. She is legally disabled. And she will not ask him for help. I am also just now layed off from work and trying to find work. When I do find work I know I will have less time to take care of her needs. Right now, I am upset and overwhelmed that she does not feel the need to have any counseling for her addictions or for her depression. The doctor put her back on Zoloft which has helped her in the past, but she had taken herself off it a year ago because she thought that God would cure her depression without drugs. I am glad she is back on it but she insists on only staying on it until she gets off of the triple therapy for the Hep C. I want her to stay on it because it helps her and I cannot do what it can. I am not a therapist or a nurse. But I try to be patient with her but she wants everything done when she asks for it and her way. She is not willing to compromise. I want her to agree to do the chart so that I know what days of the week we are doing things like dusting, mopping, sweeping, yard work, ect. But I know she will not want to do it or stick to it. How do I show her tough love, especially when we are having to live in my parent's basement right now due to our financial situation? I feel obligated to help her but I know I cannot make her happy no matter what I do. I never have. How do I get over feeling obligated and just feel happy to help her? I don't like hanging around with her. She is not someone I would be friends with if I were not related to her. She smokes cigarettes. My hair and clothes always stink after being around her. She does not compromise or listen to our needs. I have missed meals and have not slept good since starting to help her. She won't admit she has addictions like nicotine or alcohol or shopping (HSN). I have gone to an Alanon meeting myself before but they all said I was doing the right things. Of course then, I was not living with her either or her primary caregiver. I could really use some advice right now. This is affecting me emotionally and I am feeling depressed, anxious, and angry, and at times I feel somewhat suicidal.
