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At one time ,here in California, the children were made to take care of the their elderly parents. It was terrible, I was raise in a three generations household, everyone was unhappy. ''''''''thank heaven that law was overturned. I have a daughter who loves me and she will look out after my welfare but I will never live with her.
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I would rather have my ex-mother-in-law in my home than have my Mother move in.... don't get me wrong, I truly love my Mom, it is just their personalities are total opposite.

MIL has a delightful outlook on life, she could always make you smile and laugh, found humor in everything. Even though her son and I parted ways 20 years ago after 20 years of marriage, MIL was and is still a part of my life :)
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LadeeC, I have had similar conversations with my Dad about he and Mom living in their 3-story home and all the work involved, but it goes in one ear and out the other. My Dad's parents and his grandparents all lived in their single family homes. Same with my Mom's parents. Until a major illness struck.

Hard to break traditional family habits.
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... Pertaining to 'cancer'... Just found out the Eucerin lotions (creams?) have BHT in them...! We rub this into our skin... eucerinus/products/soothe/eucerin-original-healing-soothing-repair-lotion.html
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BHT is a very common preservative. It's everywhere. It is anti-oxidant and keeps free radicals in check. It is also reported to be sold as a supplement. Research is underway concerning the use of BHT in the treatment of herpes simplex and AIDS.. But like anything else, if is consumed in large quantities, there will be problems. Taking it in a capsule is probably a bad idea.
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RE: BHT...
Non-the-less, after goggling this substance it's still questionable... We have so many toxins in and around us every day that it's difficult to rid of (or try to control). (thank you for your comment Pam)
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Heart2Heart, that is one thing that I had rarely used was any type of body lotions.... just didn't like the feel of the lotion on the skin.

In my humble opinion, I believe some of the cancers are from us Americans eating so much red meat... and with red meat containing growth hormones and antibiotics to make the livestock grow faster so that the ranchers can get them to market quicker, some of that has to get into our system. And look around us, today's 5 year old child looks 7 or 8.... today's 15 year old looks 18.
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Most of the responses seem kinda selfish...
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Freqflyer... I am with you about the red meat... Haven't eaten red meat/pork in at least 20 yrs and don't miss it... especially, after a health scare I had...
PStern... Be more specific with your comments
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Not everyone can be a caregiver..... just as not everyone can be a brain surgeon, a firefighter, a police officer, a teacher, a farmer, etc.

We all know what our limitation are, and we all want the best care for our parent/spouse, even if it means placing them into a place where they can get that professional care. Caregiving is highly stressful, and 1 out 3 Caregivers die leaving behind their parent/spouse. I think our parent/spouse rather see us couple times a week then never again.
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You sound bitter, selfish and obnoxious it doesn't seem like you have a compassionate bone in your body.. ABSOLUTELY you should care for your parent(s) or a least put them in a facility where they can be given the best care possible.
If you had any faith at all you should know to honor thy mother and father.
i'm just saying...
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I don't think freqflyer is being selfish. She knows her limitations, and does want her loved ones to be well taken care of. I do agree there are some here who feel they owe nothing to their parents, which is sad and harsh.

I once worked with a woman whose parents were well off. While growing up, she wanted for nothing. She told me one day she hoped when her parents retire that they don't travel to expensive places around the world, because they'd be spending her inheritance. I told her maybe they might become sick and will need that money for their own care. She said she hopes they die before that time comes. She expected a nice inheritance and told me she is not willing to care for them in their old age.

The sad part is, she is not a tiny minority. There are far too many selfish people like her in this world. I have heard of people who will not put their parent(s) in a nursing home, not because they or the parent haven't the money, but they refuse to spend the money. The parent lives in an unhappy environment because their selfish children will not put them where they will be cared for and treat the parent with resentment at home.
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Thank you, donnacecilia. I don't know if that poster was referring to me or to the original writer of the question. I know I gasped when I first read it. But as we all know each case is different.

I wish my parents would spend the money they saved for all those rainy days on themselves.... buy the best life has to offer.... don't save it for me to inherit, as I have already saved for myself. I live below my means, as the Joneses are too far into debt :0

In fact, I told my Dad that he and Mom might outlive me, so for them to enjoy their estate, plan ahead.... Dad looked at me like my hair was on fire.... [sigh]
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MsMarie, sitttt, staaaay, like a well behaved rottweiler. Oh, wait, my dogs are far better behaved than you are ...off your meds are you?? Your parent is in an ALF, you don't do care 24/7 so you have no idea what these people go through. I suggest you take your "beloved" parent to live with you in your house and care for them 24/7, cook, clean up poop and pee, do mountains of laundry, jeapordise your home, spouse, children and sleep little. Then, and only then, can you comment. And quit thumping your bible, it makes people run away real fast.
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FM ... I didn't say, " the government has led us to this untenable and unforgivable state"

I said, " .. depending on the government has led us here, to this untenable and unforgivable state."

And, by that, I mean: as a society/as a whole, we've come to rely on government to provide FOR us. I'm not a proponent of dispensing with government aid programs, I'm a proponent of people taking responsibility for themselves.

Hope that helps clear up my perspective.
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