A month ago my sister became our mother’s POA. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a year ago and is in early-middle stages. My sister and mother had a joint savings and checking account for approximately 8 years. The monthly deposits in the checking accounts included my mothers Soc. security, pension and annuity. As a result of selling her home 4 years ago, my mother deposited the proceeds 202k from her home sale into the joint savings account. A few weeks ago, my sibling emptied the joint savings (202k) and transferred the money, into her own personal savings account. My sibling plans to use the money to purchase a home for herself and mentions my mother living with her for a year, if she can handle caregiving and placing my mother in a nursing facility. Can a POA do this? Will the 5 year look back apply if my mother needs Medicaid. I’m really dumbfounded that my sibling did this. They reside in Ohio, USA. Should I seek legal counsel on my mothers behalf?
And if your Mom has social security checks being deposited the funds are not supposed to be commingled. Whoever is handling mom’s money has to be appointed a representative payee for social security & they should be accounting for the money spent
This was also true in my previous state.
It's good to see someone engaging in replies, thank you.
From your initial question, folks on the forum understand your situation better and also more information about your sister and her instability, thank you for sharing more of your situation with the forum.
It sound complicated and seem your mom has lived on her own for long periods of time, maybe she was happy to do this, until she started getting health issues.
It sounds like so many dynamics at play here.
Mom having cognitive health issues, so it's hard to say if what she was saying about your sister is down to the early dementia or it actually happened as she said.
Then your sister and her mental health issues at play. If things got physical that's nasty and if you mom didn't want your sister coming around, she should have backed off. It's still hard to completely believe your mom's side of the story seeing as though her cognitive abilities were also under question. I still feel that your sister should not have started the POA while all the issues were going on.
It sounds like your mom is doing a little better in your care, which is good, and it's time to seek legal advice.
Please keep us informed on how things progress.
Familes?? talking about siblings mainly, you can't choose them. Then there are people that have the best ever relationships with their siblings. Can you tell I want to swap mine?
Take care.
The best your sister could do is put the house in Moms name only. Care for Mom in the house for 2 years and claim Caregiver allowance so she can remain there. If she puts her own money in, then she csn probably be on the deed too. Your sister needs to talk to an elder lawyer before she does anything. You need to stop her from using that money. Get her POA revolked. Mom has the money so you can become her guardian.
Lawyer will need to file some sort of action to stop sis from using any of mom's money.
It certainly sounds as though your mother needs professional care at this point.
Source: https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/medicaid-eligibility-ohio/
When you wrote that your sister obtained DPoA while your Mom was living with *you*... this isn't normally how it happens... your Mom would have had to go to the attorney, who would have interviewed privately for capacity. She and your sister would have had to sign the PoA documents, in front of a notary (which is usually someone who works in the attorney's office). Then each of them would have gotten an original copy of the document.
Have you ever actually seen the PoA docs? I would first ask her to show them to you. Be aware that a PoA is under no obligation to prove they have the docs, so you might have to have the attorney write her a letter saying if she doesn't produce the documents, she'll have to do it for a judge in court. This cost is on you. And if you think she'd stealing from your Mom, you'll have to have hard evidence and the attorney will assess whether you have a winnable case or not. Then I'm sure a guardianship battle may ensue.
I think if I were you I'd consult with an attorney before saying anything to your sister.
At best, your sister doesn't understand how Medicaid works. At worst, she is a grifter.
Wishing you luck.
I would call your local police today to report fraud and theft.
Do you and your sister have a good relationship?
Can you ask, in a non-accusatory way, if sis has consulted an attorney about how she goes about doing all this?
Mom should be paying your sister for caregiving. Sis and mom should visit a lawyer to set up a caregiving contract.
cooking, hardly ate and began having hallucinations and some paranoia, Doctor advised she should no longer live alone. Family members were paid to care for her in her own apartment and months later mom became afraid to live alone in her apartment. Sister said she didn’t want to move in and didn’t want mom to move in with her because not getting along with mom; mom complained to family that sister was talking her money and borrowing car without her permission-and mom told family she and sister engaged in physical altercations. Sister denied taking her things; she did often borrow her car and mom would forget and that mom was aggressive and often struck her. I continued to ask sister if mom could live with me for awhile but she didn’t want this. She said mom always wanted her to care for her. Things worsened to where mom wouldn’t allow sister inside her apartment and often refused to allow her to take her to dr appointment, shopping…etc. I took FMLA and a reduced my work hours to help. Over the course of four months, I traveled cross country every month to stay with mom-with each visit I spent 1 1/2-2 weeks caring for her and managed to get her to medical appointments, an appropriate medication regimen for her paranoia and hallucinations and coordinated services with an aging agency for a adult day services and meal delivery. Mom became distrustful of sister no longer allowed her to take her to anywhere including medical appointments and often refused her entry in her apt. In June it was agreed that mom would live with me for awhile. For 3 months she has been in my care. She is doing much better-no paranoia and few hallucinations, improved mood and physical health. While my mother was with me sister obtained durable power of attorney and did the transport funds.
I'm assuming that there's some bad history between siblings when answering this one. Otherwise I believe your sister should have communicated what she was doing to all the family.
The timing for your sister to obtain POA sounds a bit off. Why did she wait so long to get POA? is what I'm thinking, but also why is she transferring the money into her own account. A Will, if made, normally decides how your mom intended to divide her estate.
On the other hand, we could believe she has your mom's genuine interests at heart; maybe no other sibling has bothered to participate in your mom's care needs over the years, and she wants what's best for her, including living with her for a year to see how she gets on, and then maybe wants to use the money to fund Assisted Living. Maybe the speed at which the condition arose was a deciding factor in getting a POA; that might be smart thinking and not divisive.
I think a direct talk with your sister or, if you are not on speaking terms, getting a legal mediator to help It is a difficult one, as there are always two sides to a coin.
I do believe in seeing your mom's wishes through, and hopefully she made a will to say how she wanted to divide her estate.
I hope it's a good outcome for your dear mother. It's common for siblings to get embroiled in financial matters and I believe your mom's wishes should decide these things, but also your mother needs help and love through her life.
Take care.
It might be that the mom gifted it to the sister: as a thanks for helping her.
There are too many unknown facts. OP, please see a lawyer.
(Ventingisback)
Are you the kind of person who does nothing to help your mom, and dumped all the troubles on your sister? And the only thing you’re interested in, is the money?
OP (who just created the account) might actually be the one who is taking the 200k, and there’s no “sister”. Perhaps wondering how to do it legally, by looking at our suggestions.
OP: you need to ask a lawyer anyway about your sister. We don’t know all the facts, and all the facts matter.