My Brother and his evil mean and vindictive wife took my mother from her home in Lake Wales, I have made numerous attempts to see her and am now only allowed to get phone calls and occasional photos of Her. Mom and I are and have been always very close as I am the eldest Son. She is close to my Brother but he has allowed his wife to take his testicles. My mother cant stand her and has said she does not trust her. Now she is being used as pawn and an ATM. They know I am on to what they have done. They have missed her appointments with her primary care Dr. and pretty certain she is off her medications as they are trying a "Natural Remedy" to probably save and extort more money from Her. My Dad told me just before he passed away he was concerned about loosing his insurance and suddenly being broke all the time. He said my Brother said there was fraud on the account and it caused the issue with overdrafts. They convinced my Dad who is (God Bless his Heart)gullible when it comes to my little brother were handling their bills since my dear Mom has Alzheimers and could not handle the bills any longer. Big mistake! these people are a train wreck when it comes to personal finances and caring for their own 5 kids at home. They caused my parents to loose their health insurance benefits due to non payment and have not made the mortage payment since before My Dad died. She was supposed to come stay with us during the Thanksgiving Holidays and was really looking forward to spending time with me and my family for a week. We have not has any time alone with her as they are always "on the go". Last week they said they are not brining Mom up but maybe this Christmas. Its been a year and I have not had more than 12 horus with my Mom since Dad died. They always manage to find and excuse to miss me or not tell me they are at her house which is only 45 min. from mine. They said she may call me tonight, which happens about half the time when they say it will. I am recording this call and asking my Mom if they moved because their phones ping to a different location for the past months and also if she still wants to come stay with me for thanks giving. If she says yes I will tell here that i will drive the 8 hours to the keys to get her. Anyone see a problem with this?? Yes, I do plan to call the sheriffs office when I get there to have a witness. HELP ME PLEASE! ANYONE. i JUST WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY MOM BEFORE SHE DIES!!!
If Mom is failing as indicated, family control of various things may be of issue. Controlling the person and the money is easiest when done by one family member within some families. Other families handle it as a team. Sounds like no teamwork for this family. Her precise location and finances may become more than she can process. If the one brother has been dealing with this, Mom may not feel up to changing anything at this point.
So a decision needs to be made - do siblings need to intervene or do they let the brother/family pump it for all it's worth? If Mom is loosing money, but not her safety, the rest of the family may just have to let the chips fall where they may.
With Adult Protective as other approaches, all must use care. Several neighbors (including me) were interviewed a few years ago by the local AP because one neighbor's adult, estranged son reported his Dad for something. Father/son had not had a relationship for over 20 years when the son arrived to live with Dad. A swift decision/closure in case resulted. AP can't prosecute family if the diagnosis is bad blood and grudges among them. That becomes a civil affair.
The bank eventually solves a mortgage/foreclosure problem. No timeline was given as to how long this was going on. He also did not mention if his parents property is in a state that can do a quick foreclosure without going to court, or a state that does require a long court process. That can make a difference as to how long other family may live at that address.
Do what you need to do to remedy this. Make sure you are doing the right thing.
If she is ever hospitalized, the hospital has custody of your mom. Maybe you can get someone to take your complaint seriously, especially if several siblings complain.
If you are being notified that your mom missed her appointment, ask questions. When the doctor's office says they can't talk to you or other siblings (HIPPA firewall at work) politely end the call. Call Adult Protective and tell them she was not transported to her appointment for the second time. Unless asked, I wouldn't mention problems with brother beyond the fact that you're just so surprised to not hear from anyone. I wouldn't mention brother's family other than to say no one has checked in with you and the other siblings. I would say since the appointment wasn't cancelled, and Mom was a no-show that something may have gone horribly wrong. Other siblings should also call Adult Protective when these events occur.
Sibling who has POA can request a printout of Mom's prescriptions. It asked, say it's for claims issues or taxes - depending upon time of year. Printouts show what drugs have been purchased. If she has stopped, report that to the doctor and adult protective. If she later tries to get nursing home care, it will all come to the forefront.
I would also follow up my phone calls with notes listing time/date/reason for call. After several unsuccessful attempts, I would send a copy of the note to the doctor and tell him/her you have also called Adult Protective. I would keep the 7 out of the communications loop entirely and not mention family disputes until you really have the attention of Adult Protective. AP has to interview those whom they know have called about the situation. I would tell AP I would check on Mom except it's hard living 8 hours away. This may motivate AP to initiate a wellness check at last known address. If AP can't locate her, that's another red flag. You won't get anything accomplished with the 7, so you must work around this situation. Eventually you may see your mom by virtue of others finally having enough information from the rest of family to warrant an investigation.