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Daisy, even if Mom can't be deemed incompetent, I would bet dollars to donuts you could get a restraining order to keep him away. You are talking felony theft level stuff here - diamond ring, a CAR, 20K!! WHAT is the hesitation???? This is absolutely brazen and if he can count on you to wimp out and not have the entire legal system down his throat in a heartbeat, demanding full restitution (which by now is probably not possible, I'm sure quite a bit of what he's taken has been spent on drugs or whatever) then it will simply go on until anything and everything he can get his hands on is gone...everything the decent or at least non-addicted people in your family have worked for or wisely saved to benefit Mom when she needs it, just up in smoke, literally or figuratively.

OF COURSE he will take all of it if you back out! Is there some reason you think you should let this happen? Was your mom totally abusive or uncaring to you, or just chronically extremely foolish, so you feel like she made her bed she should lie in it? If not, then locate your spine and fight back. I put it this way not to be mean, but to give you more perspective.
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Daisy, you've gotten pretty unanimous advice here; please let us know how things work out. All goods wishes for your family.
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You have to do what is right to protect your mom. But it won't be a popularity contest, not even with your mom. There is nothing glamorous in caring for her or making sure she is protected. I know - I have the battle scars to prove it. But I don't have one regret.
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