So my Mother has Alzheimers. She is in the middle stages. She can still perform all activities of daily life. We recently (November 2017) put her into a very nice Assisted Living facility. Unfortunately, we are beginning to realize that this might not be a good fit. It seems the further along the Alzheimers progresses the more my Mom becomes a hypochondriac. She constantly thinks she is sick. She gets herself so worked up into a panic that she actually makes herself vomit. I thought that the Assisted living facility would help care for her... but they have kindly made it clear to us that they are not a nursing home. That they will keep her safe by checking on her every 2 hours... giving medication to her....assistance with showering, which she doesn't need. But they don't have the staff to handle her constant "health needs".
She has been though so much these past 3 months. I DREAD the thought of having to move her again. She is cognizant enough to HATE a nursing home. I just wish we could get her hypochondria under control.
Any advice would be extremely helpful. FYI- She is taking Zoloft but it doesn't seem to be helping.
Is hypochondria a common "side effect" of Alzheimer's ? How should I handle it when I talk to her? If I even imply that her perceived illness is in her head it sends her into a panic. Should I just "go along to get along? I get frustrated because she uses this fantasy illness to NEVER get out of bed.
After all, you don't want her epitaph to be "I told you I was ill!"
We always take her to see a Doctor. There is a Doctor that comes to the AL facility twice a week. She is requiring constant medical attention and we are afraid that the assisted living facility is going to tell us that they can't handle her medical needs and send her packing.
I should add that she wasn't just panicking... she was delusional. I live out-of -state and she told my Sister that I had come to the assisted living facility and told her I was going to get a Doctor and be right back and then I never came back. That didn't happen.
While Zoloft works for my DH, I personally have trouble with many of the new medications so I now ask for the older ones. We don't know why but things like Z-Pac Antibiotics actually make me sicker and Codeine does nothing for me or to me.
Ask the physician and see if they will recommend and prescribe something different. Also, the Zoloft might be interfering with another medication she takes causing the hypochondria. On it's own, hypochondria isn't that terrible - but it is if she's making herself sick enough to be vomiting.
I recently moved my Mom to a dementia unit within a local nursing facility. So far it's working well.
Keep us posted!
I also agree with the not moving your mom any more than necessary. Which then brings me to my next question, does the current AL have a memory unit as well? I ask only because at some point, with dementia, she will need to be moved to a memory unit. It would be nice to think she wouldn't have to be moved to a whole new environment. With that said. If the current AL does not have a memory unit, then that is something you will need to look in down the road. There is no way to know at what point she will outgrow the AL. Dementia is funny like that, no two people experience the disease in the same way.
I was able to keep my mom at home until the end. I lost her last month. I am eternally grateful that I was able to do that for her.
Good luck with your mom. Stay patient. And always go along with whatever she says and then redirect gently. Always the best course of action :)
When I was looking for a place for him, many people told me he needs memory care because of the dementia, well, I looked into them and was aghast, every single person is strapped in a wheelchair, fall liability you know, they looked like the wheeled dead.
I know some people are so far gone as to need being behind locked doors and not allowed to ever walk on their own. My granny was gone like that, yet they did not lock her up and isolate her, she wheeled throughout the facility, and this was before all the alarms to notify staff someone has gone awol. The staff ratio in these places is higher as they will not let the seniors do anything for themselves, even if they can take care of bathing, dressing etc, they won't let them. If your mom is having a hard time adjusting to AL, this kind of place could potentially push her over a cliff.
Sounds like the place she is in forgot what business they are in, yikes, it's called Assisted living for a reason, they charge enough to have a doctor on staff for petes sake, maybe you can find a home that understands they are not just warehousing human bodies, these are actual human beings. I pray you find a place that will help your mom feel safe and loved so she can spend her final days without being so terrified that she vomits.
God Bless You and help you find that place. I pray that you take care of you during this difficult journey. 🤗
Although I certainly do not know everything, in my experience, AL is for people who have physical needs, help with ADLs like help taking showers, dressing, etc but still have all mental faculties. Milder dementia with ADL needs can also fall under AL. Nursing homes are for people who really need a lot of help, including medical needs. Memory Care, also a form of AL, will provide help with dementia AND if needed the ADLs (same as AL), but is a locked down unit because some residents could just wander off.
In LoLo1169's case, I really do not think her mom needs a nursing home and would likely be miserable there! I can agree with the AL stance in that they are not there to provide 24/7 care. Strict AL is what it is, assisted living. MC is also this, but more and perhaps is more likely where mom needs to be. They DO provide more hands on care than just AL. My brother could not get the concept of these differences through his head when we were looking for a place. Our mother is ambulatory and can perform her ADLs, but cannot remember what she said or did two minutes ago. She needed MC. During our walk-through with mom (who by the way was adamant she did not need help!), he was still pushing for AL but the staff members said no, and more than likely would have refused to take her into AL. BTW, this facility has IL, AL AND MC, so one can, if there is availability, move from one level to the next without leaving the facility.)
One place we had looked into during a search for a safe place told us it was MC to the end, including hospice, nursing care, etc, but was about $1,000 more per month. My take was that amount per month, given that she does not need extra care (current place includes 1 hour/day in the cost and she does not even use that) could build up over time and provide extra care much later when she does need it. The current place she is in will not provide skilled nursing care, but if/when we need that we can either consider hiring outside help or transition her to a nursing home.
As for finding a place where every person is strapped in a wheelchair - not every facility is the same and not every one has residents who NEED a wheelchair. If you find a place like that, more than likely these people ARE at that level or are drugged up (nursing home was like this for our dad - any problems caused, medicate to alleviate that problem) and more than likely anyone who has a LO like our mother would pass over these places, so by default they end up with only these residents (or it is just a nasty place!) A GOOD MC place has, like in our mom's case, a mix of ages and abilities. There are many like our mom who can still get around on their own, several who use walkers but still mainly take care of themselves or get some help with ADLs and one or two in wheelchairs, but no zombies!
Eventually all dementia patients will end up like that as the disease process robs their mind and by default their abilities, unless something else causes death before then. It is inevitable. When they reach that point, a nursing home may be the only good option (or hospice care in the MC facility - the cost and care should be considered before making decision to move.) What one has to do is shop around, visit places and see what the places provide for help and activities, and see the residents that are currently living there. If they are all zombies, skip that one! Mom's place has activities (not everyone participates, but they are offered and encouraged) and assessments are done on a regular basis, reporting to us what mom's current status and needs are. The residents range in age from mid 50's (very sad!) to one woman who just turned 100!!! That woman still gets around with her walker, loves jigsaw puzzles, can still use her phone to contact family, etc. So no, not every MC place is full of zombies. Those would be places you probably want to avoid. I cannot stress enough - NOT EVERY MC UNIT IS LIKE THAT!!! Every place (that includes nursing homes and regular AL) is different and one needs to check the places out - talk with staff, find out what their "plan" is, visit at random times to see what the residents and nursing staff is like.
Again, medical assessment to see if there needs to be a medication change (our mom only takes BP meds!) and/or determine if there is a medical issue that can be treated should be the first course of action. Decision to keep mom in place, hire outside assistance and/or move LO to a GOOD MC place would follow after the assessment. It could be as simple as changing the medication or treating some real underlying condition, but if this woman already has dementia, the OP should be looking into MC for future placement. Plain old AL does NOT provide this kind of care.
However, a good pysch eval and perhaps a change in antidepressants (Zoloft is known for causing stomach upset) may do as much 'change' as is currently needed.
Are you positive she is actually vomiting? My mother is also a hypochondriac, and often says she's been 'vomiting for days'--yet there is never any evidence that she is, or has been. I was at her home 3+ weeks ago, she was sitting in her armchair swathed in blankets and holding a basin she'd gotten from the hospital. Said she'd been vomiting nonstop for days. I took the basin and saw that it was actually DUSTY in the bottom. Asked her calmly if this was what she's been throwing up in and yes, she "filled it" several times. She's very slow, can barely walk, and if she had had bouts of explosive vomiting--there would have been evidence. (sigh) It's so hard to know what is REALLY wrong with her, as opposed to what she thinks is going to get the most attention.
Be gentle with mom, sounds like her panic attacks are real, and they are horrible. I get them and I am miserable if they don't get treated. You can get the psych dr to deal with those. Maybe once she isn't "scared" all the time, she'll come to a place where she can function within the milieu of the ALF. You want her to have the most independence while she can still 'enjoy it'.
I wish you luck.
It’s been tough because she has become really nasty and paranoid. She insists she only has a Mild Cognitive Impairment. Implies that we are trying to screw her over. It’s frustrating. The health aspect is especially frustrating because she is never actually sick. We are afraid that the one time we ignore her complaints she will actually have something wrong! So that means frequent weekly doctor visits.