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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I have to drive more than 20 miles one way sometimes 2 times a day I can't afford it is there help out there? plus I have too mow the lawn and wash the clothes, and clean the house, while holding down a job.
Pastor, does your Dad realize that for every month he is in his home, it will cost more because of the Reverse Mortgage.... each month, interest and mortgage insurance charges are calculated based on the current loan balance, and these charges are added to his loan balance. Thus the balance owed keeps growing. Have your Dad check his paperwork. Money sometimes is an eye opener.
Your parents are from that generation where their siblings stayed glued to their homes, same with the grandparents and great-grandparents. They aren't going to break this chain.
If you want to help, set only Saturday afternoon to help and do only what you can do on that day... don't kill yourself... if all you can do is go out and get their groceries and throw in a load of wash, so be it.
If your parents complain, tell them there is just one of you with TWO houses to maintain.... tell them you need help... what do THEY suggest. Usually it will take work not being done to make this an eye opener because right now they see everything being done, so what's the problem??? As our parents age they don't realize how much time is involved.
Given your name, I assume that you are a pastor. This would mean to me that your time is already filled up and you are really spreading yourself thin in trying to help them. However, it does not look sustainable.
Are you their only child?
If not, would your siblings meet with you to come up with a plan?
Set boundaries!
If they need more help at home, hire some caregivers to come in.
I agree with ff -- this is crazy. Are Dad and Mom together?
I think Dad needs to use some of the money they got with the reverse mortgage to hire the lawn work done, and the cleaning, and the laundry, and maybe arrange some kind of meal program, whether that is something like meals on wheels or stocking the freezer with some of the better prepared dinners. Expecting you to spend up to an hour-and-a-half in your car everyday on top of the time you spend there is ludicrous.
Be upfront with them about the money concerns. That driving is getting expensive. Let them know.
Encourage them to hire routine tasks done by someone else. It doesn't take a daughter to do laundry. Then maximize your time with them with things that can't be hired out, like eating a meal with them, playing scrabble, looking through photo albums. Love them as only a daughter can.
Your profile says your Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia.... may I ask why do your parents still live in home that has a lawn that needs mowing? Can't they afford to pay a lawn mowing service and a cleaning service for inside? If not, then that means this house is too much for them. Time to downsize, sell the house, and take the money and use it for a nice independent senior apartment.
I know, easier said then done. I finally had to set boundaries with my parents who refuse to move. Told them I no longer have the energy [do to my age and health] to take care of their house.
My parents think because I am still employed I should be able to do all this stuff. Big difference between sitting behind a computer most of the day and mowing a lawn in 90 degree weather !! I am now a bystander and would help them find a lawn service and cleaning service if they needed one.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your parents are from that generation where their siblings stayed glued to their homes, same with the grandparents and great-grandparents. They aren't going to break this chain.
If you want to help, set only Saturday afternoon to help and do only what you can do on that day... don't kill yourself... if all you can do is go out and get their groceries and throw in a load of wash, so be it.
If your parents complain, tell them there is just one of you with TWO houses to maintain.... tell them you need help... what do THEY suggest. Usually it will take work not being done to make this an eye opener because right now they see everything being done, so what's the problem??? As our parents age they don't realize how much time is involved.
Are you their only child?
If not, would your siblings meet with you to come up with a plan?
Set boundaries!
If they need more help at home, hire some caregivers to come in.
Who has durable and medical POA for your parents?
How old are they and how near retirement are you?
I think Dad needs to use some of the money they got with the reverse mortgage to hire the lawn work done, and the cleaning, and the laundry, and maybe arrange some kind of meal program, whether that is something like meals on wheels or stocking the freezer with some of the better prepared dinners. Expecting you to spend up to an hour-and-a-half in your car everyday on top of the time you spend there is ludicrous.
Be upfront with them about the money concerns. That driving is getting expensive. Let them know.
Encourage them to hire routine tasks done by someone else. It doesn't take a daughter to do laundry. Then maximize your time with them with things that can't be hired out, like eating a meal with them, playing scrabble, looking through photo albums. Love them as only a daughter can.
I know, easier said then done. I finally had to set boundaries with my parents who refuse to move. Told them I no longer have the energy [do to my age and health] to take care of their house.
My parents think because I am still employed I should be able to do all this stuff. Big difference between sitting behind a computer most of the day and mowing a lawn in 90 degree weather !! I am now a bystander and would help them find a lawn service and cleaning service if they needed one.