Say in middle of the night, or even in the middle of the day, I throw out my back changing the diaper on a bedridden person. I can't leave the diaper half changed while I writhe in pain on the floor. Is there anyone to call? Are there agencies that work 24/7 on a emergency basis?
Hoping for the best, planning for the worse.
She is now in a nursing home and life is easier for both of them.
When you talk with someone kind who offers to help, ask if it's OK to put them on your list for crisis times. Think of friends, church/temple connections, kind neighbors, etc.
And if you have an agency that sends someone good - privately ask that person if they might be available for crisis calls. Many of them don't earn enough money after the agency takes their cut, and often are looking to pick up extra work. Better to ask an individual you trust, rather than the agency since many agencies don't offer 24/7 assist.
If there is a caregiver support group in your area, attend when possible and get acquainted. Ask these people for any recommendations to add to your list.
Also, don't be afraid to call 911. Our local firefighters were amazing. They sent 2 EMT/firefighters on several occasions when our loved one slid to the floor and we couldn't lift her. They were kind and efficient (and no cost).
(side note - phooey to those who criticize those of us who do not do the hands-on care for mom and/or pop. Sometimes it just isn't possible, even if we wanted to do it!)
The agencies charge exorbitant prices for emergencies, but some of them do offer emergency help.
if you are able to wait, devise a list of individual assistants to call in case of emergency. Constantly update and edit your list.
My list included about ten individuals (at the most): compassionate friends (with no training), relatives, neighbors, CNAs, RNs. When you meet someone very kind and special, ask if you can add them to the list. Be “on call,” to reciprocate for others.
Remove those who become apathetic or unavailable more than once.
In the end, the friends and the hired assistants were the angels that came through for me. One even met me in the ER in the middle of the night during a nightmarish hemorrhage. How she healed my breaking heart!
My biological family members were absentee, and thus were removed from my list. (And accordingly and subsequently I removed myself from their list(s).
I have since adopted a new concept of family.
One brother I am done with. He isn't local, thankfully, but as of May last year, he isn't welcome here. He isn't likely to visit mom at this point. When he was here last May to help with clearing out condo, I suggested he visit mom. He did once on his own and refused to go back again, saying he "didn't know what to do with her." This from one of two who found out how much MC costs and quickly said for that amount they would take her in!!! HAHAHAHHAA
The other brother - trying to get in touch/answers is like pulling teeth... actually pulling teeth is easier, and in some respects, less painful! Cousin on dad's side has been helping me some and his sister wrote him off after their dad passed away (mom had passed earlier.) So, I suggested I divorce my brothers and become his sister! He seemed interested...
Friends and those who have good hearts are the way to go - hopefully without alienating the friends...
Later I thought that had my sister not been available I could have tried calling our home health service (we have it for monthly visits to change my dad's supra pubic catheter and also can call them for advice about problems) and ask for help from the on-call nurse. Otherwise, if something very dire happened that took me suddenly out of commission I think I would have to call 911 for help. Not the best option, I'm sure.