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My mom begin to decline meals. She loved breakfast so I tried to get her to eat hardy each morning to make up for the lack of food later.

I focused on food that would provide calories for her rather than volume. As she aged and her dementia became more severe, she started to dislike food that she had always loved. So trying new things that were not normally in her diet may be a good suggestion also.

My mom did start to pocket food and, as she declined, she started to have chewing issues. You may have to be flexible with textures and be aware of ease of swallowing. My mom loved Ensure juice (not the typical Ensure). That gave her some calories when I could not get her to eat. That is an option also.
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As a retired geriatric nutrition counselor I offer my mom Boost and keep a bag of nuts near her chair…if her weight stays stable I do not worry!
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Husbands 99 year old grandmother would often have ice cream for dinner when she was still at home. She did this for several years and it didn’t seem to cause her any problems. Now in AL she eats their dinner.
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She's eating a "good breakfast and lunch" so who cares if she doesn't want to eat dinner? At 94 she's earned the right to eat when she wants and if she wants.
Please don't waste your time worrying about such a non-issue when I'm sure you have many more important things to be concerned about. She'll be just fine if she doesn't eat any dinner.
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I also agree to not force her. My Mom's also 94 and just doesn't eat as much as she used to, even though she's very physically active for someone her age. Sometimes she's so tired at night she can't even make herself a simple dinner (so I do it for her).

Do you have any way to know if your Mom is having constipation? Often it makes you not feel hungry. If she's on any pain meds, even like Tylenol or Advil, these can block a person up.
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Let it go.
Offer food. But never force.
If she is having problems with utensils finger foods are great.
Watch for "pocketing" of food.
You may have to mince or puree foods.
Start with her larger most calorie dense meal in the morning.
And...give her what she wants. If she will eat a bowl of ice cream for "dinner" let her have ice cream.

Oh..if and or when she stops eating and drinking PLEASE do not have a feeding tube placed. They can cause more problems than they solve and can lead to pain or discomfort. If her body can not process the food it can cause blockages or if it causes her to vomit that can lead to aspiration pneumonia.
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CaregiverL Sep 2023
Hi Grandma 1954.! My 96 year old mother with dementia…now in SNF since April…started having days where she refuses meds, drink & food…yesterday was first time she wouldn’t eat anything from what I brought from home….even her favorite chocolate ice cream…today I came to feed her & she ate/drank everything…I know from experience with her being home with me for so many years…if she doesn’t take the Seroquel, then she won’t eat or drink. My mother lost 7 pounds from last month…now 103lbs & she’s about 4 ft 11 inches…last November she was 114 lbs. The facility has her on purée & I requested kosher… sometimes if she refuses it, I take it home, reheat it & bring it back in a microwave container. I hate for it to go to waste.
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She's 95. Stop worrying about it. She'll each when she's hungry.
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