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I have been experiencing the same type of anxiety, guilt and my mother is 84 and just had a stroke. So, she’s also said that she doesn’t want any more testing because she doesn’t want to find out anything more could be wrong with her. It has been the most intense emotional insanity for myself because I have been doing it all alone. Rest of my family is not like me and I’ve had to accept. I over empathize and I am way more worried than my mom about her health or well-being. The thing that I will never want to hear again is… you have to take care of yourself or cut down on the amount of time that you go over there. After seven months of scariest most horrible visuals and watching her suffer, I have allowed myself to let go of some of my own coping mechanism, anxiety, and I’ve been enjoying her company and we’ve been laughing a lot together lately. So take your time, we’re all different and there’s nothing worse than someone telling you to stop caring so much about someone that you love so much. Just let yourself be where you’re at and when it’s time you’ll be able to let go of some of the anxiety. But all I can say is, I’ve never had so many doctors nurses and other friends say how incredible it is that I am there for my mom as much as I am. I’m not looking for praise, but when her neurologist told her if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t be sitting there, it was the validation I was looking for knowing that this is who I am and this is what I do. I care about the people I love. I am empathetic. I am overly sensitive. And for the first time in my life all of that has been a blessing for both my mom and myself. Sending you a lot of hugs and time. 😇🙏❤️
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I think you are a smashing daughter and deserve a pat on the back for doing so much. You’re mum has the right at 83 to refuse all treatment. She’s probably had a good life and doesn’t need it artificially extended and doesn’t want to be pulled around anymore. You have to respect her wishes I’m afraid.
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If your mother is still in her right mind and able to reason and make her own decisions about her healthcare, let her. It is her right to.
I know it's hard to accept because you love your mom and want her to have the best life possible for her. She's an adult and has decided to live life on her terms. God bless her for that.
Constant worrying over it will not change or help anything. Death comes for us all at some point whether we are surrounded by people or completely alone.
Would your mother be open-minded to the idea of a hired companion spending time with her during the day while you're at work? They can help her with cooking and housework or just keep her company. They can also take her out to run errands or to social outings. This might ease your mind knowing that someone is with her while you're at work.
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