Help At Home aide needs to clean more, but my dad won't let her. What can I do?

Wow what you said about any money given to my father does not go to Medicaid until he dies that really scares me about this deal .
Husbandrecently had his property surveyed off into two tracks, 5 acres for him and 35 for us. From what I'm learning here today it does not sound like that was the thing to do or a very right decision at all

I totally agree Medicaid needs paid back !!! Yes yes and a big YES!!!
We do have a lawyer and he's the one that came up with this plan and I doubted it from the very beginning !!!

I told my dad three weeks ago I had his insulin refilled and he needed to pick it up at Walmart with the girl that helps him since they go there every time she comes three days a week!! Two times now he hasn't picked it up and they always send it back and I have to call to get it refilled Yesterday he shows up at my house on his four wheeler blind and can't see hardly about sideswiped my vehicle, and says "I'm out of my insulin". I asked why he didn't get it at Walmart here...said "I didn't know it was there"... I did tell him two different times and he chooses to shop for other things and totally forgets about his medicine getting picked up This afternoon to help at home girl comes and he said yes I will have her take me there to get it I called Walmart and they said it goes back today again for the third time if he doesn't show up
Yes I could've went to Walmart last night to get it or went there this morning but I'm refusing to take part in this junk anymore

Bella, if your father didn't disclose property and got Medicaid under false pretenses - if you don't have a lawyer now, you need one. The property you talk about buying may not be his to sell - there should have been a lien on it unless it was an exempt asset. If Medicaid is denied because it should not have been given in the first place due to your father not being eligible, then all the facilities have every right to hold him responsible for payment. Medicaid will CLAW BACK (take back and leave any money owed to facility your father's responsibility) any money that was paid under false pretenses. And any money you have paid for the property could be viewed as gifting to your father if the contract is not Medicaid compliant. The money father gets for selling property is not given to Medicaid during his lifetime - it makes him INELIGIBLE for medicaid until he spends it back down below limits and he pays all costs until then for medical and home care because he has assets over the limits. Please, get a lawyer involved to review what you are giving to the facilities and anyone else. Yikes. You are a good person - there may be some way to exempt part of the property if you made it possible for him to live there - but there is a 2 year requirement in most states and you have to have the paperwork ready for recovery. I am so sorry.

Dust bunnies I get along with well, even in my own house! It's the food he leaves everywhere and there's gotta be POO/pee scattered around by the looks of poopy/wet laundry lying around. Door knobs freak me out touching them there! There's no way I can get him back to AL now. He's an accident waiting to happen...he is legally blind from uncontrolled diabetes. Last  year our attorney told us we could buy his property on contract.  We own the 4 acres connected to his property already, that happened years ago. He got himself on Medicaid in 2009and  knowingly failed to report that he had property so now he's losing his Medicaid starting September 1 and we don't know if he'll be able to get back on it. That's another can of stinky worms! I never understood this whole contract thing and doubted it from the very beginning of last year when it got started because of him being on Medicaid. We didn't want to lose the property so we are buying it at market value which is $109,000 and from what I understand we would pay him monthly but what my dad doesn't understand that monthly payment will eventually go to Medicaid. I told my husband we should just buy it right now pay my dad and then he turns around and gives it back to Medicaid...who cares!  I obviously don't understand how Medicaid works and I am learning here as much as I can every day. 
He owes assisted-living $21,000 since he was Medicaid pending and had carotid artery surgery last September.  Those bills were over $100,000 but supposedly covered by Medicaidat the times.  Come to find out my dad did not report his property back in 2009  which has thrown up 1 million red flags and now they're asking 1 million questions and years of bank statements.  It's  been awful and time-consuming and my dad does not give a crap that we have to do all this paperwork for him. My husband says although we paid for the cabin my dad has to purchase it from us ( which husband says the value of the cabin will come off of the value of the property) and then he turns around and gives it back to Medicaid, this just boggles my mind because that doesn't even make sense to me. Too much juggling around of stuff for my mind to handle.  Medicaid does deserve their money because theyve been paying his  medical bills, he gets cheaper prescriptions and Help At Home care for all these years. Now that he's back home he cashes his Social Security check of $634 every month and spends it however he wants on stupid stuff. He bought a used Bose radio from his Help At Home girl for $100 and she recently put him on her cell phone plan...we bought him a cell phone years ago and has been paying his way on that the whole time till like a month ago...she convinced him to get on her plan which was supposedly cheaper and to have phone that he can "handle". I am very happy to not be paying his minutes anymore but how can this be cheaper for him if he is going to have a cell phone bill with her for $30 a month !?!  Is paying his utility bills    
Crazy !! 
We've lived in our home for 30 years, this is where I grew up and wanted to be even though of my dysfunctional divorced dad.   Husband and kids and soon-to-be granddaughter are attached to this place but I don't care anymore I want to let it all go I really don't care. I'm tired of working it so he doesn't see his property get auctioned away or sold or completely gone to the government. We are not trying to hide anything from the government and are willing to pay the fair market value.  I never understood the whole concept of this contract deal to pay him monthly to supplement his Social Security check. 



It never made sense to me because he's on Medicaid    I don't get it!!!
Right now Medicaid has been picking up the bill for Help At Home but I'm assuming that's going to stop September 1.  The secretary at the assisted living where he was told me he's only covered until September 1 and then he will probably need to buy a supplement insurance to his Medicare

One question - - - who is paying for the 'at home' service? Who's name is on the ownership papers for the cabin?

If you can , figure out a way to  get him back in assited living. Yes I know, hindsight is always 20/20.

Lower your standards. A whole lot. I care for my folks long distance. I'm visiting now. Couple years ago I'd have big fights because they won't let me get any help, cleaning etc in the house.

So after fighting I'd run around like an idiot cleaning my self to death. I don't argue or clean anymore. Everyone is much happier, less stressed.
I still do the basic stuff, dishes, laundry, vacuum, gather up trash and junk. But windows, mopping, dusting, deep cleaning, no more.
If they don't care that the windows are filthy why should I.

I'm a 62 year old guy. My standards are not that high to begin with but I try  to at least  keep their place up to basic animal house standards.  I make sure the rotten food goes out, bad smells are tracked down, just basic stuff.

You have to find that balance of keeping basic hygiene and safety with old stubborn folks. Dust bunnies? Who cares....