After 31 years of marriage, my 62 year old husband went to heaven August 1st. He is no longer uncomfortable, frustrated, declining, tired, and hurting. AgingCare site has been a big help to me being his caregiver. A place to go to vent or ask a question, and read other caregivers concerns and to know that I/we are not alone, in any step in life. Anyone who lost their loved one, have any suggestions to help with this loss empty feeling, I would sincerely appreciate it.
So for now, accept your grief, cry all you want, and realize you will make it thru this. Be grateful for 31 years of marriage, reminisce, recall the good times with a smile.
Purchase a copy of “Getting to the Other Side of Grief, Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse”.
It hurts…….
It can take time, but it does get better.
Prayers to you
May The Lord God Almighty give your grieving mercies, strength and comfort during this difficult time.
Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve your loss.
As a caregiver for my Husband who had dementia every day was a loss. So you begin the grief process from the first day the doctor says that your sweetheart has dementia.
You get through day by day. And every day there are reminders of what you are loosing. One of the things that is unexpected is the loss of people who you thought were friends.
So you think you are prepared. You think you have cried as much as you can. Even though he was still there you are, what a friend in my Support Group calls, a Married Widow.
But nothing prepares you for the day, the moment he stops breathing. Your heart stops as well. It is as if someone ripped your heart from your chest. And you cry more. Let yourself cry.
I have this posted next to my computer:
I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you..........
And then I realized you spent the rest of your life with me.........
I also have this:
Grief never ends, But it changes.
It is a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of Faith.
It is the price of LOVE
I am sorry for your loss, you can rest well you cared for him during a difficult journey.
((HUGS))
The advice that was posted sounds helpful, and hopefully you will find some comfort in it.
I remember for at least the first several months after my husband died I kind of just wandered around the house wondering what it was that I was supposed to be doing, as most of my day had been taken up with his care.
Allow yourself plenty of time to grieve the man you loved. I was getting teary eyed this morning thinking about my husband, and I don't try to stop it or hide it, as I miss him every day.
But life does go on, and we are still meant to make the most of whatever time we have left here on earth. Spend time with family and friends, and with God, and if need be, check out the Grief Share Support Groups in your area, as they can be very helpful as well. And if your husband was under hospice care at the end, they also offer grief counseling.
I have found that the book Healing After Loss by Martha Whitmore is helpful as well, as it is a day at a time devotion. And that is how we have to go through our loss and our grief and that is one day at a time.
I am so sorry for your loss, and hope and pray that you will now take the time to take care of yourself. God bless you.