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Good for you, Debralee! You don't need to make peace with them, and you certainly don't need to do hands-on caregiving for them. (I hope you aren't considering it.)

The "making peace" is this thread isn't about parents who were abusive and making peace with their abuse. It is about accepting decisions the parents make that the children don't think are in the parents' best interests. Different kettle of fish entirely, I think.
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Think of it this way, if you were in your mother or fathers position wouldn't you try to stay as independant as possible. The generation that some parents come from were taught not to ask or accept help, to save for the rainy day despite the fact it's flooding. I once had a client that didn't want to leave the house because she didn't want anyone to see her using a walker because it looked old.
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