Our father is 94 was told several years ago to stop driving. Our mother and other family members refuse to intervene even though he can no longer make phones calls, fix a sandwich, etc. We children have taken the vehicle but he managed to reclaim it, doctors reported him to bureau of motor vehicles but all to no avail. What to do?
I am sure the people who allowed the drunk to get behind the wheel, thought it was too much bother to stop him. Too much bother to report him to the police. My step brother and sister, were driving home from a movie, not even 20 yet, they burned to death in the crash.
You go ahead and wait for the crash. Then you can tell the family, oh I knew they should not be driving, but I did not want to upset the Apple cart.
My DH was able to drive until he went on a walker at age 95 - but he volunteered to allow his license to lapse when we learned it would lower my car insurance. He kept the out-of-date license as proof of identity.
If you are able, maybe contact the local police force and speak to the traffic division. Maybe there is an officer who can come speak to your Dad.
I.e. go on a few rides with him and show him how it's done.
(Disclaimer: I've never used one myself! But I think it's worth knowing how to do.)
If something else has been disabled and the car won’t jumpstart, my dad would just have the car taken to the mechanic. That’s why I say, you gotta get rid of the car completely.
For real. Any plaintiff's lawyer would jump on this so fast and there is a risk that he would be judged at fault in any accident. Does your family understand this? Can you ask his doctors to follow up their reports of dementia? Can you consult a lawyer to determine if there would be any liability falling on the family, particularly his wife, if she ignored the danger?
I'm in CA and the laws may well be different than in KY, but a close friend of mine went through this and basically pestered the DMV, the police dept., doctors, friends, etc. And finally got it done.
Many big cities are making their downtowns to be convenient for me was many which has attracted both young and old
"...move him close to or in the nearest big city..." Naive and unworkable answer. Despite having DPOA for our mother, when the need came to move her to a safe place vs living alone too far away for us to check on frequently and refusal to let aides in, she REFUSED to consider ANY scenario. Our EC attorney told us we CANNOT force her to move.
So, in this instance we don't even know if anyone has POA. Also, he isn't living alone, he lives with his wife, so you would consider forcing her to move as well?
These are not doable suggestions....
how will he feel when your dad kills innocent people? That deputy sheriff should be reprimanded for this! Sounds like a “good ol boy” system, if it were my parent, i would talk to the person(s) at the top of chain of command and get their help.....so sorry you are going thru this. Its so hard.
It helps to have other transportation set up and easily available for all their needs/wants. Get that in place if it isn't already.
You have no choice: take the keys and car. Get the title signed over to you, and buy or sell it, and give them the money. You don't want it reported stolen so tell them you need the car right away or it broke, and can't be fixed so you're selling it for them. Eventually, he'll stop asking about it as long as all their needs and wants are taken care of, and they don't feel stuck with no help to get some place or get something.
This past year her driver's license expired and she needed to get a State ID card. It costs the same as the license so she said "I'm going to get a driver's license since they cost the same."
I didn't want to argue with her so I said "You know you will have to take them for a drive this time. So you think you can do that today?" She immediately decided to just get the ID card.
One thing that you need to provide when taking someone's independence of driving away is an alternative for them to get out and about. Without that in place it is a loosing battle. Multiply resources is better, that way he decides to go and can get going fairly quickly. Not tomorrow.
I would also request the doctor report his driving again.
There's not a chance he won't have invalidated his policy anyway. He's been advised by medical professionals to stop driving, it's been formally reported to the DMV, he has not made his insurer aware of these developments - there's not a policy in the world that will cover him in these circumstances, any more than it would if he'd drunk fifteen bottles of whisky and then got behind the wheel.
Who are the other family members besides your mother who are enabling this?
What does your father use the car for, mainly?
I have been on both sides of lawsuits involving car accidents. They are long and tiresome. There was fault involved but not blatant errors that could have been prevented. I hope this is not in your family's future.
I wouldn’t cancel the insurance until AFTER the car is completely gone and he has absolutely no access to any vehicle. Because if he has an accident while driving uninsured, who do you think will be financially responsible? What you need to do is figure out who is enabling him to continue driving and either get them to cut it out OR call the cops every time you know he is behind the wheel. As someone with a parent who has absolutely no business driving but refuses to stop and as someone who’s parent had their license taken away at one point & yet he continued to drive....my heart goes out to you because I know what a terrible situation this is and how hard it is to get them to stop driving! So much easier said than done.