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80 year old male with dementia transported to hospital last Monday, Severely dehydrated, Magnesium and Potassium severely low, severe UTI to the point the Nurse said was almost sepsis. Discharged on Friday to a Nursing/Rehab home. Wife is caretaker and in denial of his diagnosis 4+ years ago. Wife stated he has not had a bath in several months, he is only sponged off. He wears the adult pull ups. He is left at home alone on occasion ( a few times a week) while the wife goes to town to run errands. His wife and his 2 step daughters are trying to get him discharged from the Nursing/Rehab. It is clear that the wife can not take care of him and he has been neglected. This afternoon the wife and his 2 stepdaughters will have a phone meeting with the Director of the Nursing/Rehab and Social Worker about taking him home. His 2 step daughters live in a different state, they are unable to help with his care. Is the hospital required to report neglect if they suspect it? Do you think it is safe for this man to return home? Do you consider this neglect? Help!

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Since you added that you are daughter in law you can report the neglect to APS
You can also contact the rehab where FIL is now and express your concerns.
This would probably be more impactful if your husband were to express his concerns as well.
No it is not safe for him to return home with the wife and step daughters as caregivers.
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NH won't do an unsafe discharge. They'll probably check out where he would be going after leaving the NH like Joann 29 mentioned.
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No. It is not safe for this man to return home. Clearly his wife is not coping with his care needs on her own so there must be some changes made.

Yes, he is being neglected. If his wife is not able to meet his care needs alone, that's not her fault.
The two step-daughters need to put in a little bit of effort and get some homecare set up. They should also not be advocating for the nursing home/rehab to discharge him if there is no caregiver staff and support for him at home.

If the hospital does their job they will report this neglect and bring in some social work to help with care options.
This couple needs some support staff because they are elderly and one of them has dementia and is ill.
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Call APS. They should open a case and investigate. If the wife is competent and the husband shows no sign of neglects such as severe medsores, there is likely no case to be made here. Almost all elders enter hospital with blood work showing dehydration. With age they lose their drive to take in adequate fluids. UTIs are common as well. Only an investigation into the care can show if there is truly neglect here, and if either husband and/or wife are capable of handling their own care now.
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There is no reason you cannot call the SW at Rehab and voice your concerns that FIL is not getting the care he needs. Ask that he be evaluated for 24/7 care. They can send someone to evaluate the home and talk to the wife suggest that he needs more carevthancshe can provide. If they discharge him, thats on them.
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His wife could be incapable herself and unable to care for her husband, which is not negligence as much as the TWO of them need to be placed in managed care. People living out of state have no idea whatsoever what's actually going on in house and should have no say in this matter at all.

If your FIL is not going to be released from rehab into capable hands, then he is an "unsafe discharge" and the rehab will want to keep him in their long term care section, if they have one. The step daughters need to take a trip to see mom and the living conditions to determine whether she's safe living at home. Or whoever is her POA and FILs POA need to look into this matter.

Good luck to you.
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Daughter in law.
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Where do you fit into this picture?
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