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Somehow I missed your original post eight days ago. My comment after reading all of the other comments is that you have found a wonderful place for your folks to be. It sounds like the staff is very thorough and communicative with you, which is such a blessing.

The other thing I'll say is that it took me a long time to learn that I don't control the universe. There comes a point where you can't change the inevitable outcome of your parents' condition. And where whether you're there or not will not change the end result. So relax and let the professionals do their job (sounds like they're doing very well) and you continue being the concerned adult child. You're doing a wonderful job as well - being caring and informed. And report back on whether mom partook of the cocktails. :)
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mina - that's funny about the clogs 😁

windy - as ff said, your mum was having the equivalent of a tantrum. The changes kinda blow your mind, don't they? I sure understand the anger at them refusing to take sensible steps along the way, and also the fear that you are not doing enough. But you are doing enough, and, as has been said often here, seniors (and others) have the right to make bad decisions for themselves, not that we have to like it. Why not give it a break for a while, and find something else to concentrate on. You have conquered the snow on the roof. Is there anything else that needs doing around your house? Something you can punch or whack? I remember in the old days, beating carpets to clean them. It was quite satisfying.
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Blannie, thank you for you comments. It is a great place and I’m discovering that I don’t control the universe.

And yes, the end result will not change no matter where I am or what I do. Got it......

But ya know, as burnt out that I am, you still have to fight back the nice memories of your childhood and the need to give your mom some comfort some how.


But I’m adjusting . And can’t wait to hear about cocktail night! I’ll let you know........
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Yeah Golden, I need someting else to beat around on. The roof is shoveled, was 50 here today, major melt off! Went from 5 ft snow banks to 5 inches........

We’re in a rural area and we are sorta the Barbie and Ken around here. A little younger and more able than many neighbors. So it’s pet care, get the car started, blow snow , whatever.....So I got other stuff to beat on. I’m ok.
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Just (((((hugs))))) Windy. And unadulterated (Adult?) Red wine!
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Yes Barb. Having an adult beverage tonight.......
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windy, I know you are, and will be OK. I have utmost confidence in you. Now go and blow some snow (well, maybe have a coffee or two first.) You are a great caregiver - the neighbors must love you.
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Happy hour report.....

Friday is cocktails before dinner night. My sweet nephew was on site, had cocktails with the folks. Report is they didn’t like the red wine. Apparently served it cold! I will speak to the warden about that! Lots of complaints about the food at dinner also. 

Dad has moved from looking for his car to looking for his airplane?! No clue as to where that is coming from......Mom and Dad are still the trouble makers in the joint. Mom told Dad to go get bread and go to the bank yesterday, so away he goes......Was gonna fly the plane I guess but ground crew thwarted take off.
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Thanks for the update. Love the airplane twist. :)
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If that isn't just the last straw - red wine not served chambré. Frankly, I'm appalled. Call this a care facility?!

May this be the very worst of it! ;)

And I love the ground crew idea too - have they even got those hi-viz paddles? Could catch on!
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Yes indeed CM......Outrageous! You can be assured I will be speaking to the Sommelier. As soon as I learn how to pronounce sommelier.......
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So- me-yea. With a light, quick pass on the me part.

Best said in a high falutein’ “I’m special” voice along with a French accent. Imagine that you’re Pepe’ Le Pew...
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Yeah Rain, but gotta also add the hillbilly accent :


Soo-meli-errrr...
This here red wine is cold!
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Just tell ‘em that - that ther jug needs to be fetched outta the ice box over-yonder. 
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What a lovely grandson! Mother praised the food to begin with then started complaining. Whatever! Your parents are fine and they will adjust in time, I think, unless they were chronic complainers before, in which case nothing will ever be good enough.

Cold wine - shocking!
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Dang I like my wine cold,, iced even. Yep low class here,,,LOL
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Ice in wine?! Now that’s just trashy!! I like a nice dry Chardonnay, cold, but not too cold. But back in the day Boone’s farm wild mountain grape was high livin!
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OMG I remember Boones farm! The wasted days of youth! I still like sweet wine best! And yep,, I am overeducated sort of white/red trash!...LOL,,  But really more a Coors light gal!
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Best ever country music title:

I LIKE MY WOMEN A LITTLE ON THE TRASHY SIDE....
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I’m too lazy, but someone should google the lyrics and post here. Its great stuff!
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I remember that song... but I don't have big teased hair.. yet!
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Well, I was raised in a sophisticated kind of style
Yeah, my taste in music and women drove my folks half wild
Mom and dad had a plan for me, it was debutantes and, ah, symphonies
But I like my music, how I like my women wild.

Yeah, and I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick and, ah, too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
And I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

You should have seen the looks on the faces of my dad and mom
When I showed up at the door with my date for the senior prom
They said, "Well, pardon us, son, she ain't no kid!
That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Pardon wig!"
I said, "I know it, Dad. Ain't she cool! That's the kind I dig!"

Yeah, and I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick and, ah, too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
And I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

I like 'em sweet, I like 'em with a heart of gold
Yeah, and I like 'em brassy, I like 'em brazen and bold
Well, they say that opposites attract, well I don't agree
I want a woman just as tacky as me
Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah, and I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick and, ah, too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
And I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah, I like my women and I like 'em on the trashy side!

Songwriters: Chris Wall / Jerry Jeff Walker

Trashy Women lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc
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And mom is home and having her Port wine on ice!!
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Rainmom is right. Quick pass on the end of suh-mel- yay
Rhymes with everyday.
Barb....your playin' my hubby's song! I just sang all your words.  
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Haven’t talked to the sommelier yet but just had a nice chat with the young woman who runs the reception desk in the front lobby.

Dad was visiting with her as we were speaking, enjoying some hot chocolate (This is new thing for Dad. My guess is staff have discovered sugary way for Dad diversion) and telling her hunting/fishing stories. Dad has no problem flirting with the ladies. She told me they were trying to get him out of the room more, keep him busy and give mom some quiet time. I LOVE THESE GUYS!

Mom was napping and all was well at the moment. I was going to try and talk to them as it’s been 2 weeks but decided not to stir up calm waters. Just let Dad flirt, mom nap, not be confronted by evil son who put them in prison.
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Oh Windy, we all feel for you. You are the BEST son!!!!!!
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Sounds as if things are a bit better, right now.
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