My mother is 81 years old and has a diagnosis of Dementia probable Alzheimer's. My mother has 5 children. We went to a lawyer and had set up for the 2 boys to be poa over financial and the 3 girls to be poa over her health. Recently 2 of the children took my mother to the same attorney who helped us set up the poa's and had him take off all but two names, so now out of the 5 children only 2 are in charge. Is it ethical for this same attorney, knowing that she had 5 children(we had all met with him the first time) to go ahead and reissue another poa with only 2 of those children present? Those 2 children knowingly took my mother there to change things to their benefit, they were aware of and had copies of my mothers diagnosis. Is there any legal charges the remaining 3 of us can file?
But I understand that you're unhappy with the way your siblings went about changing the arrangement. What do they say when you tell them about your concerns?
You raise an interesting concept about moving from one state to another. It might be worth it for bonniebelle to check this out, but it is seldom an issue.
There is absolutely no need, legal or moral, to discuss changes to the POA document with anybody. It makes sense that it should be discussed with the person who is being given new responsibility. It is not necessary to discuss it beforehand with people being removed from responsibility. The notion that everyone involved has to "consent" is total nonsense.
Let us say, as an example, that you have named one sister as your primary POA and a brother as the secondary. But you really would prefer to have a cousin in this role. You didn't name her before because she was so young. But years have gone by and you decide to make her your primary POA now. Do you have to discuss this with your sister and brother? No. Do you have to explain why you are doing this? No. (But you might want to for the sake of family harmony.) Do you need the consent of your sister to replace her? Absolutely not! The POA is YOUR document. Nobody else has any "rights" concerning it.
the ten k went to the younger sister . and the older sis got the house . sometimes you just have to exclude some siblings from the final decision making . you dont need the drama your likely to get from them .
It may be that these two read that it is a terrible, awful, and potentially dangerous idea to have more than one person as primary POA. (It is.) And they decided to explain to Mother that it would be better to have one person in charge. When they went to the lawyer, the lawyer was satisfied that IN THAT MOMENT mother understood what she was doing. It wouldn't matter that Mother couldn't tell him how she got there or that she wouldn't remember what she told him in half an hour. At the time she was in his/her presence she showed she understood that now one person would act in her behalf if/when she could not.
This is perfectly legal, at least insofar as what happened in the lawyer's office.
Now, "she was forced to do it" -- that would be illegal. But you weren't there, right? And you can't ask her for reasons you explain. So, how do you know she was forced? And more importantly, what evidence do you have to prove it?
Having three people equally in charge of medical decisions is a disaster waiting to happen. It means any one person has absolute veto power. Having a person who can't be trusted as the primary decision-maker is also a bad idea. Again, apparently Mother trusts this person. What do you fear this person will do that won't be in your mother's best interest?
I can see why having this done behind your back is upsetting. But I can't see that you have any grounds for legal action, or that this change is necessarily bad for your mother.
Please accept this change gracefully and don't let it drive wedges in family dynamics.
Check with Mom's attorney to see if she was able cross from one State to this other State with her POA/Will if the rules are similar.
So if I understand correctly, you agreed originally to 5 proxies but are unhappy that only 2 are proxies now.
Is it the action behind your back, or the secretiveness, or that you don't trust the 2 siblings, or that you specifically wanted the other 3 involved, or what? I think there's obviously some issue more than isn't being addressed.
And be realistic about legal action. Who was the client? You or your mother?
If you aren't the client, what standing do you have to take legal action, and what would it be? I doubt you'd find any attorney to handle a malpractice case, and frankly, I don't see any grounds unless you were the client, in which case the attorney would likely have refused to make any changes.
You can file a complaint with the bar association and it will be investigated, but you could blemish an attorney's reputation because of your feelings toward the attorney. You aren't going to get compensatory damages in any likelihood, and unless you sue you aren't going to get a reversal of the POA changes. So, what is it that you would seek to accomplish?
You made an unusual statement as well that's of concern:
"Believe me, my mom made no wishes to redo her poa."
How is it that you can be so confident of this? Have your spoken to your mother about the changes?
If granddaughter is caregiver, perhaps she should be poa. Perhaps one adult child should take mom to a lawyer and stay out of the room, so mom can say what she wants.
I would ask Mom why she made those changes. And I would try to get all the siblings to work as a team for Mom's best interest.
I think before thinking about legal charges against the attorney that, putting it bluntly, the family needs to get together and discuss what happened and why. It seems as though not everyone is "on the same page."
I'd work on resolving this conflict now before it gets any worse, as it could very well do on down the line.
Do you suspect the siblings of undue influence? Call your local Area Agency on Aging and APS for advice.