There seems to be gallons of ink on here about the horrors of hospice. I fully respect all those people who have shared these experiences. It's a valid discussion and I don't doubt for one second the validity of these experiences, nor am I interested in starting some sort of competition. However just as we need to hear the negative should also talk about the positive.
I've been volunteering with a non profit hospice for a few months. I don't claim to be any kind of expert as I am fairly new to the work and my experience is limited. My impression so far of this particular organization is very good. I've heard that the for profit companies doing hospice is Not so good but that is purely anecdotal evidence. So, let's talk......
When they moved her to the Hospice floor - it was a totally different experience. The every staff member was kind, warm and comforting. My sister is a CNA (been one for 30+ years) and they told us that we could take care of Mom as much or as little as we want - they supported us. They checked her medicine & vitals and kept us abreast of where they thought she was - we changed her diapers, kept her lips & mouth moist and even bathed her & changed her into her own clean nightgown. My sister & I held her hands through out the nights from both sides of the bed - no "mittens." Even though Mom was in and out of consciousness, they spoke directly to her - told her what they were doing, asked her questions (even if she didn't answer) - they were just KIND. The family was taken aside privately early on & we discussed what was going on and what our preferences were. They gave us a chance to speak openly and shed a few tears away from Mom so we could continue to be calm & peaceful at her bedside. A Hospice worker or two dropped by over the 2 days we were there to talk with us & make sure we had everything we needed.
When Mom took her last breath - the nurses came & did what they needed to do. They closed the room & gave us time alone with Mom. They made the proper notifications - I don't know how we as the family would have known what to do. We had the funeral director at the hospital with us within the hour. Hospice followed up a number of times with Dad - it's been almost a year & he got a card the other day. Nice that they think of us.
So windy.....if you're volunteering for Hospice - God's Speed, my friend. I think everybody should be treated with caring and dignity at the end and a good Hospice provides that.
My own experience with hospice was very, very brief, but we all relied on them so much for guidance as to what was happening and what to expect.
just sayin ..
Maybe some folks who are in need of hospice will see this thread. The stories folks have shared will be very helpful.
And I was amazed when a Hospice Nurse came in when Mom wasn't responding to us, that Mom had probably 24-48 hours left, and sure enough she was right. Thus I was able to stay all day/night at the facility until Mom passed, I just didn't want her to be alone.
She has gained weight (well, now edema too), gotten cleaner with a daily aide, and seems so much better now that she has attention. Unfortunately, she now has fluid in her lungs, but hospice caught that early and she can sleep well at night with the meds the prescribed for her. She is slipping away but hospice is making this easier for us all.
I would not hesitate to have them involved if needed again..