Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
I honestly had no clue this is so ramped.
This is what is going on in my family also. And I'm realizing it's all so common.
I honestly don't understand how a grown arse adult is more worried about there inheritance, or so attached to there childhood home than , someones well being.
How can we as a society gotten so dam heartless!!
I was able to walk all winter, and spring , I gave it up for now. Use to be in the winter you would join a gym and not go in the summer, I feel like it has totally switched gears. Like did I move south and didn't know it.
I don't know if the weathers changed or my body. I've never been a fan of the heat but this is ridiculous. Making me feel depressed.
It's your right to say whatever you want , and it's my right to find it a bit wrong and ignore it or say something.
I'll ignore it from now on just wanted to tell you my opinion
"Some AL are very nice , but no matter how nice , moving in AL often is a reminder of someone’s age and decline"
I do know that these places exist for a good reason and many people live satisfying lives there but I'm so tired of the narrative that this is a "good thing" (as Martha Stewart used to say). It may be a necessary thing but if it was such a good thing there'd be a whole lot more of us living in communes.
It's like if you say I have to go to work, verses I get to go to work.
I have to.. is an ughhh
I get to ... Is lucky.
Lucky to have a job
Lucky to be healthy enough to work
Words really change the whole meaning of a word.
And the way we say them.
When my mom says someone is gay , her voice, look on her face and everything is hateful.
But if I say someone is gay , its just they are matter of fact gay without the face, they may be heterosexual or homosexual, don't matter to me either way kind of voice.
We had a small efficiency apartment my husbands son (Nero divergent) was sleeping in. We moved him upstairs and Redid the room for a giant master bedroom and bathroom. Like 5 years ago. Put a tub in , which wasn't the best choice, now we are talking about a more efficient bathroom, eventually.
We kept the outside door, my thinking is if he dies I have the option to turn the room back to an apartment for me and rent the rest of the house.
CW, I luv you but I think calling a room a cell is a bit to strong. It's used to degrade prisoners .
adding on would be very expensive . I thought about we could put a full bathroom and closets where the dining room is although it would be weird since it’s by the front door . And my husbands office could be a bedroom ( no closets ) , would have to put double doors to close up the office . The problem with that is if we had to sell , no one would want to buy the house with a bathroom where the dining room should be . A stair lift would be cheaper and more easily removed to sell the house . The half bath is not able to be expanded , because of its location in a small hallway leading to the garage between the laundry room , and kitchen .
I know some homes it just really doesn't work, without a huge amount of money.
We’ve been on the downsize search as well. I posted earlier about the difficulties in finding anything with a master bed and bath downstairs that either is not a total gut inside or if we find one in good shape the price per square foot is ridiculous due to high demand with many boomers by me selling houses to younger families . ( I’m one year younger than the boomers, not that it matters ). However , by me real estate is still hot . DH and I can’t justify spending that much per square foot , the 55 and overs have gone up over $50,000 in the last 6 months . We have decided to suspend our search for now . My house is not huge . If we have to stay we will reno the bathroom and get a stairlift someday . Although I really wanted no stairs . And will hire snow removal at some point . The big yard is annoying though . I already pay to have it mowed , since DH’s accident . But I do the rest . When DH retires we can expand our search area without having a work commute to be a concern .
I would love to sell my house to a nice young family , if I could find something . Downsizing should cost less not more . The math just doesn’t support a move right now . We are trying to keep money in savings for our future care needs .
The modern ones are white or beige, bland, featureless inside with some arrangement of beige or grey outside. A 'wheige' box inside a larger 'greige' box.
In contrast, my Aunt's AL room had plush carpet, natural wooden look furniture & bright but tasteful upholstery.
I know that's just *stuff*.. & it goes against my earlier comments about adjusting to AL by choosing to be happy wherever you are. Call me fickle today 😂
Dad never was materialistic, so he never missed his house and the things he had in the house. He knew because of his advanced age that he could no longer use his workshop, nor putter around in the yard which he enjoyed.
But then again, he grew up in a farm house that had no inside plumbing nor electricity, so I think he was appreciative of things he did have at Memory Care.
Preconcieved ideas prevent some people from trying to make the best of the years they have left while in AL .
Some AL are very nice , but no matter how nice , moving in AL often is a reminder of someone’s age and decline . Change is hard .
Some choose to go in AL on their own and love it . But many would rather stay in their homes.
I have not had any relative willing or happy to leave their home when they needed placement.
My parents and FIL are deceased . We are now trying to get MIL to go to AL . It won’t happen easily . Thank God it’s the last one .
Not all AL’s are that luxurious . But even a small plain private room beats SNF shared room .
But his room is kept clean and he is getting decent care. I would not call it a cell only because of the negative connotation. I guess people can get offended by that word.
We were able to give my daughter a full ride at Northeastern U. without any loans. It wouldn't be possible to do that now.
I wish I could give more but I need to make sure I am not a burden to my family should I live well into my 90s as my parents did.
Good to hear from you and to know you landed well. 🤗
Penn State is very expensive . Both my kids went there as PA residents . My kids paid off their small loans , but I’m still paying a parent loan . It has gone up since my kids went . We’ve told them that if they were freshman now , they would have had to go to another school.
My second kid going there was a stretch for us . My kids are 7 years apart . The cost went up considerably in between them . It blew my mind how much the out of state students were paying .
My daughter in law is an orphan, she has huge loans from 2 masters degrees . My son pays the whole mortgage so she can pay her loans .
Welcome back Glad. Happy you were able to finally sell.
Golden, sorry you have not sold yet and hoping you are enjoying your new place! I sure understand your frustration. I thought you had listed the old place before I left. AND I had five offers fall until one finally went through! Scary!
I was very fortunate and lucky to sell when I did! I was hit by one of those huge hail storms just over a year ago. New roof, stucco and fascia repairs. My homeowner's policy was up for renewal in November, three weeks before closing. My rate doubled! Then property taxes also doubled. Between the two I was getting priced out of my home!
My new place is a downsizing for me, price and size. In a townhome community and pay dues each month, the board worries about the landscaping, outside repairs and trash service. My yard at the old house was nearly an acre and the upkeep was much more than I want anymore. About half of it was natural but still needed mowing once a month or so.
Here I only need a renter's policy, HOA dues pay exterior insurance. Because of my hail claim my insurance company would not sell me a policy here. Very odd and it was just for contents.
The heat is on! Record broken yesterday and expected to again today and even worse tomorrow. I am so done with summer! Will make gazpacho this afternoon. Wonderful flavors for these beastly hot days!
My son's partner has $70K of college debt for a Liberal Arts degree from Penn State (and he was a PA resident!) How can anyone make a dent in that on an "average" salary??
Now that the Boomers are retiring, there's not enough able buyers for our homes, the significantly increased cost of hiring people to help maintain our homes and provide care (plus labor shortage) was not something we could have planned or saved for adequately.