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way I'm sorry about your neighbour and your mil. Sometimes there seems to be no justice,

You can't change mil. I hope dh stays with the "no rescue" but i know you know him best. You do have to be very firm with your boundaries or people like mil run rampant over them. It's probably ideal of you can be nice and firm but some people see nice as a chink in your armour and move in the get their way.

Do you have a contingency plan in case she gdoes fly and becomes ill? It could probably be managed by phone.

I'm thankful to not be making hospital visits any more. R's ward had a covid outbreak which ended the day he left so I had to mask up and sanitize. I wasn't worried about getting covid - more about losing my hearing aids which are "over the ear" type and can get flicked off when I de-mask.

way - try to relax and think of other things. They take up too much room in our heads!!! ((((hugs))))
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DH was too nice on the phone to her .
I have found you have to be more forceful in defending boundaries with stubborn elders , or they disregard what you say .

I may have to call . Uggh. That may speak louder since I never talk to her on the phone .
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WOW!! Ugh that sucks!!

And actually unfair to the people on the plane. If they have to do an emergency landing
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MIL is now planning two trips to Florida . Originally it was one . DH told her she’s too frail to travel and he’s not rescuing her . She says she will be fine .

She didn’t really listen to DH, she dismissed what he said on the phone today . Then she says “ I”ll give you my itinerary just in case”.

In case what ? We aren’t rescuing her , so DH says . We will see . I think we will be packing suitcases .

And MIL won’t draw up POA. So of course DH has no tools if needed. She also still has her partner with cancer and dementia being her servant instead of hiring help in or moving to AL. Really tired of the stubbornness .
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Way, Awww that's sad, I hate when I loose a long time neighbor!

That's just plan dumb, lol I didn't realize your mil had a blood clot. Wow
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My next door neighbor and good friend is 66 years old has been fighting lung cancer ( never smoked ) for the last 3 years including a major surgery to her neck and spine where she had already had mets to vertebrae when she was diagnosed. Had chemo, radiation. Oral meds to keep it “ at bay”. . She did well the past year . Was getting around , got back to driving , gardening enjoying her grandchildren . She is now in ICU with multiple blood clots , kidneys, spleen , brain . They have found a mass on one of her heart valves , causing her to form clots . She also had a stroke ( brain bleed) .

Before this sudden turn of events she has been on blood thinners already for the past two months due to a blood clot in her leg that they believe was from a bout of Covid. That clot had resolved . She’s basically a ticking time bomb from all these clots .


On the other hand , my very frail 87yo mother in law in stage 4 CLL , has been walking around with a blood clot in her leg for the past 3 months and is planning to fly !! Also a ticking time bomb . She will probably survive it .
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Lol. The same here, nacy. Fences take priority. He is doing well, and we feel the hospital made the right call. This morning he made his smoothie and then asked for needle and thread to mend a tear in a work shirt which he has done.Then he took pics of his bloody clothes for the insurance.

I think he liked the attention at the hospital but he laid around too much. He is going to have a bath so I said "Not too hot!!!" He had installed grab bars in his bathroom tub after the knee surgery which he feels are good for now too. His arms are strong.

I don't see any problems with his memory or concentration or mood. The worse is the headaches which he had already to some degree with the hormone treatment, and being a bit wobbly when he is upright, though that is improving rapidly.

Very thankful he is doing so well.This is the guy who after falling from one story to a lower one in a house under construction breaking his pelvis in 4 places, drove himself to his parents as he knew they would be home, before going into shock. The doctors said he might never walk again and would be on pain pills the rest of his life. In the hospital he used to hide the pills he was given under his mattress. He said all he thought about was riding again and within the year was walking, back up on a horse and taking no pain pills. He's one tough cookie!
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Golden, I saw a joke on Instagram, a farmer came into the ER with a pain in his arm. He was putting up a fence. They asked him if he finished the fence and if he came in on his own, or if his wife made him.

He did not finish the fence and he went to the ER on his own. So they just started running because they new a farmer doesn't leave a fence half done or go to ER without being told.

This is what we both got, we just do the best we can!

To all are Canadian friends, stay safe!
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Welp - he's home. I slept through one phone call and woke up for the second of him telling me he was discharged as they need the bed and they can't do anymore for him. Different doctor. He has a referral to PT and to his doctor. We got home via the insurance office with no problems, He had a good meal and was reading, we were chatting and suddenly the headache came on so he rapidly went to bed.

Now round 2 starts, I guess. I will be the chauffeur for a while. His mobility with a cane seems pretty good.

nacy - yeah he's like your hub. As he is out in pastures or driving from one to another I can't ready redirect him but just have to plan a few relaxing activities for down time when he is free.

cw - I hear you. God is telling him you slow down!!! I think so too but it's up to him. I can encourage and hope it makes a difference. Prayers along this line would be appreciated. He has hobbies - painting, woodworking - so he always has things to do.

So much for getting ready for his return. Thank goodness for grocery delivery service. I seem to have recovered. I slept a lot and took a few extra supplements and felt good when I woke up. Bless God!
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Golden - I do know all the health issues are totally unrelated, I just feel that when there are clusters like that the universe may be trying to tell us.... something 🤷‍♀️
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Golden, I'm glad your husband is on the mend.

He sounds so much like my husband, who grew up on a farm. 72 , won't slow down, well he is now because he hurt his neck Jack hammering. He is like solid muscle.

Like you said ya can't control them. Usually when I see he is doing to much , I'll encourage to take a break with me.

Hope the healing continues,🙏
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Thanks all. cw - the prostate and the knee surgery were really nothing to do with his current activities, But being on the road so much increases his chances of being in an accident. I think he needs to rearrange his life abit so it is less dangerous in terms of farm equipment accidents. livestock accidents and vehicular accidents. But he is the one who has to make those decisions. I and others can encourage - gently or otherwise. The farm culture he was brought up in has the farmers working until they physically can't. His dad quit in his 70s when he got a pacemaker and doctors advice.

I should clarify - he is muscularly strong. Everything checked out well. The leg with the knee replacement is stronger than his other one. I think apart from the shock and trauma effect (or part of it) it is his blood pressure dropping that is the major problem. It went down to 50/30 at one point not long after the accident which caused some alarm, They checked his heart and it is good. His BP drops when he get up so he has to take it slowly.

In PT he is doing better every day. But his headache is worse after PT and he has to lie down and rest. They are now saying he may come home Sunday or Monday if he is willing to use a cane, which he is. He certainly has perked up a lot. He can read some now. The snacks have helped get his gut in better order,

He has a lot of experience with trauma - broke his neck, broke his pelvis etc so he knows how his body reacts and that he has to rest to heal. He doesn't want the tv on so I got him a little radio which he likes.

We've talked about soft food as his jaw will be sore for a while. That's easy,

I sort of crashed yesterday and only visited once and slept a lot. The next few days I will take it easy, visit only once a day and get ready for his return.

I am aware that head trauma is a risk factor for dementia. We will take one thing at a time. I believe he will recover well. He has come back from the knee surgery extremely well and also from the prostate surgery and the current hormone treatment which doesn't seem to be holding him back but may be contributing to the headaches.

Lots of rain recently here which clears the air nicely. and helps douse the wild fires.Alva there are always lots many due to lightening strikes in the forest and we have a lot of forest, But it is worse recently with the increased heat.

We so appreciate your prayers, good thoughts and hugs. I know they help.
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Golden, so sorry to hear about R. I hope things will get better soon for him.
I am hearing about the fires and they say there are 100s of fires currently in Canada.
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Golden, May The Lord touch R, may HE be with him during PT and give his body strength. May HE keep you healthy and feeling well while you deal with this. Great big warm hug!!!
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Golden, I’m sorry to hear he’s still in the hospital. Good to hear of his interest in food and drawing. Wrist weights maybe? It’s so difficult to keep up one’s strength while recovering from anything.

More rain here (I’m an hour from the GTA) while the west burns. I hope a soaking soon douses the fires!

Sending vibes of strength your way.
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Thx for the update Golden. You guys are still in my prayers.
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Golden,
Good news but long way to recovery. Great that all the tests are good, maybe they can increase his PT gradually?
Hopefully he will eat enough but lots of tasty snacks will do him good. Even if they are not the best for him but in short term they would not do much harm.
Thinking of both of you and hope you update us.
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Golden, thanks for the update, sounds like he is on the road to recovery, but its going to take some time.

My husband is 6"5 , there's no way a hospital meal would be enough for him.

Hang in there, your both in are thoughts and prayers
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Given all of R's recent troubles I think perhaps someone is sending him a message to take life a little easier now. It's good you have each other for support.
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Thanks all. We so appreciate your thoughts and prayers and hugs,

R is still in hospital as he gets dizzy and worse headaches when he gets up. He needs the walker to be mobile. He is still on heavy painkillers for the headaches but refused more morphine. Yesterday they did some PT with him walking with the walker. Hopefully they will keep that up so he builds up strength as his head heals. You waste away lying in a hospital bed.

He is losing weight not that he needs to) as they are not feeding him enough!!! I told the nurse he needs more food so she will arrange to up his portions and see he has a sandwich at night. He doesn't like to complain! I got him oj and a snack last night from the machines and I'll bring in some healthy (and a few not so healthy 😋) snacks - yop, yogurt, nuts, fruit and cookies. etc. today,

He is weak and I expect he will be there a few days yet. We can't have a fall!!! I doubt he will be able to drive for a while between his vision and the dizziness/headaches.

The good news is he was thoroughly checked out (4 hospitals) and all else is good - even his blond sugar, which has been in the prediabetic range for years, is now normal. He has been motivated to cut back on sweet stuff and I am here to cook proper meals now so he is doing well there. Diabetes 2 runs in the males in his family so we want to do what we can to avoid it if possible.

He has perked up the last few days and did a drawing of a butterfly from a get well card and wants more paper so he can draw more and also to make notes re insurance. I brought in a couple of books and his glasses as he is going to try to read, He has white flashes in one eye, but his retina is ok. They will look at it next month if the flashes have not gone. The vision in the other eye (black and with a stitched cut over it) is blurred but improving thankfully.

He tires easily. An hour visit is a bit too much, I think. He needs a lot of naps, I'm holding up. I have to be careful not to set off a CFS/FM flare up. One day at a time. We are so thankful it wasn't worse.

glad - lots of fires and smoke. It's a pain I know.
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Golden, so sorry to read about R. Hope he heals soon.

Sure looks like you have lots of fires and smoke there, again. I have lost my view of Pikes Peak because of smoke from Canada fires here.
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Golden,
So sorry.
Hoping R will be OK and recovers.
Thinking of you.
Let us know how you are both doing.
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Hugs to you, Golden! I hope he’s out of pain and makes a complete recovery.
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Golden, I am so sorry! I was so sad when I read this last night. I was just thinking about you the other day, that I haven't seen you in a while.

Keep us posted, ❤️‍🩹🙏🙂‍↕️
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Golden, I am so sorry! How awful. The amount of misery drug/drink-impaired drivers cause is staggering.

Thinking of both of you in this horrible crisis.
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Golden: Prayers for R AND you.
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Golden,

So sorry for this scary and painful accident.

I'm sure you will be glad to have R home again.

Will be thinking of both of you and hoping for no lasting effects.
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Golden! So sorry to hear of this!

I'm glad R is well enough to come home.

Prayers for R and of course you.
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Oh Golden! Praise The Lord that R is still with you. I will believe with you that he will have no lasting affects from that crash.

May The Lord give you both strength and comfort during this difficult time.
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Didn't know where to put this, but this is sure on my mind.

R was in an automobile accident. He (in a Ford Explorer) was rear-ended by a car driven by a girl on some drugs, Both vehicles were totalled. He has head injuries - severe concussion, some eye and teeth problems and a very sore head, neck and chest. The young driver had a broken leg and the other two girls were not injured.

He has been in hospital since Monday 15th and is coming home tomorrow. We are so thankful it wasn't worse.

You never know when your life is going to be stirred up do you?
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