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The words were spoken that no one wants to hear.
I did not cry in your presents to show that your little girl was strong.
Oh but how my heart broke when you passed. Nothing will ever be the same.
You were the reason I could go into the world so fearless because I knew if the world became cruel you were there to cover me. You gave me a safe place to land.
You were my rock in which I could stand on and knew I could face any strom that came my way.
You taught me so much with a love only a dad could give.
You gave me a father's wisdom..
You showed me who I was and what I could endear.
You were strong and that made me strong.
Now your gone and my life has not been the same.
If only I could steal one more day with you. I could ask the questions that only you have the answers to and tell you one last time just how much I love you.
There is so much going on in my life that I want to share with you.
It's been five years and I can't bring myself to moran...the pain is just to much to bare.
My heart is weak and my stenght is low.
How I just wish to see you one more time. I have so much to tell you in my brokenness and you always had the right words to say.
But I will press on because you taught me that and I have faith that we will see eachother again.
We will eat another meal together and we will laugh again.
I look forward to that day.
I just miss you so much that it hurts. Just thinking of you.

Just on my mind!
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We just winterized our travel tailer. How I would just love to pack up and go some where warm for the winter, but SO has to work and so do I, but the day will come when we will be able to that...I have faith!
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tension rises
feelings strained
is there compassion
in the face of bittersweet pain?
You look on, wondering how you could change
when it's something beyond physical control.
tight chest, shallow breath, the noises ever present,
even when it's not around.
You try to focus, you've tried in vain
you'll hardly have what you can gain.
barely safe, hardly alive
the cycles never end inside.
Silence is quiet
but still the noise echoes
i can barely breathe
i cannot hide.
where is comfort
its tender embrace
Where can I find relief from this crazyness?
Memories gone from long ago,
can barely hold on to the facts I now know.
It cannot be denied
the truth is released:
you lied for my comfort
and now are deceased.
You cannot return once you've crossed that line
how did you imagine it from inside your mind?
Now all I know is I cannot go back
from the moments we carried
that time cannot turn back.
Again and again thoughts cross my mind
frustration builds. Nothing's right.
there is no peace
there is no joy
only gloomy eyes and a ragged soul.
tension tighten
something breaks
no longer able to separate
what exists and isn't.
hope snaps
fear lives
anger thrusts it's mighty chest.
Sad and tired, nothing is new
but the clouds that roll by
and the sun that strolls through.
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On my mind...I have been really been missing my dad this week!
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After taking antibiotics, there is Candida growth. Check her tongue for thrush.
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The Viking still isn’t feeling well -
I feel badly for her
nothing I tried seemed to help her

she didn’t want to eat - not even her favorite banana or oatmeal
I brought some warm croissants 🥐 and apricot jam - she’d take a nibble and say it was awful

I imagine the antibiotics are upsetting her stomach and she needs to go #2
there’s nothing comforting about hoca food
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How can I live in and take care of my friend in a assistance living facility...
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Thinking of posting answers to cognitive questions on loved one's wall.
Maybe a collage or in a frame.

Who is the president?
What city are you in?
Count from 100, subtracting 7.
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There are two kinds of people in the world, those who are spontaneous, love surprises and are comfortable just winging it and those who are not. I was given instructions to call in today to find out the time for an appointment tomorrow but the office voice mail tells me they won't be open until this afternoon. I've always been a ducks in a row kind of person and I sometimes have to remind myself not to be too rigid but seriously... I wonder if they realize the amount of anxiety this kind of crap causes.
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Gratefully, lab results came through and dr ordered bactrim late this afternoon for 7-days

sending the Viking to the ER at this point is a last resort although had her BP started rising with the fever then I'd be concerned about sepsis again and that was one nightmare I don't want to repeat
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Just one comment...Caregivers take care of yourself. I spend time with my aging sick mom every day and work part time but I also have to set time aside to read my Bible, listen to inspirational music or podcasts, and briskly walk, do aerobics or yoga every day. I couldn't keep my sanity if I didn't do the above. Yes, I'm still weary by the end of the day but I've released some of the stress.
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MsMadge,
I would call the lab myself. Even if they won't give you the results, you can start there to be sure the results are sent to a real doctor right away, or even request results be sent to the E.R.

So, your Mom needs to be seen, try the E.R. ???

What happened to the medical care system anyway? Used to treat within 1 day, then change the rx. according to the culture results.
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Madge, once when mom had a culture for a UTI results hadn't come in five days later. Finally found out it was a contaminated sample and they had to redo it. Yes, she had a UTI, I knew it. Why this takes so long, I will never understand. Thinking of you and that Viking.

Barb's idea of calling EMT is an excellent one.
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Ms. Madge, is calling EMTs or other medical transport (or just threatening to) an option here?
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I'm sorry MsMadge. I wish I had more than that to offer you but I don't 😟🤗
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It is so difficult to manage care in a facility -
urinalysis was ordered Friday evening, and we still don't have lab results yet- her doctor is on vacation this week, and the covering doc won't prescribe anything

meanwhile mom is sick and her already Viking self is getting worked up into a frenzy

I did a midnight bed check and she sounded like an animal growling - couldn't get her to say prayers and she said she was going to kick my a$$
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(((Hugs))) Madge, hoping the Viking gets to feeling better soon.
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(((((((madge))))))) hope the Viking feels better soon 🙏 🙏 🙏
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Madge, sorry to hear about mom. Hope it is figured out soon and easily treated.
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Shoot, Madge. Hugs and good thoughts to you and the Viking.
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Well, looks like I spoke too soon, the Viking is still running a low grade fever and so we're ordering an urinalysis - hate to cath her to collect the sample but she's clearly fighting something and it doesn't seem to be cold or flu - she says terrible when I ask her how she feels -
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MsMadge,

Good that your Mom's illness was transitory.

Keiro no hi is on Monday Sept. 21

敬老の日 Keiro no hi “Respect for the Aged Day” is a Japanese holiday celebrated on the 3rd Monday of September to honor elderly citizens. On this day, people express respect and gratitude for the elderly's contributions to society and celebrate their longevity.
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looking like it was a short lived bug - fever and some vomiting - she slept last night and is eating her oatmeal for breakfast
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King Henry the VIII was very much interested in herbal medicine. He notice the wise women of the poor villages were treating them with herbal remedies because they could not afford the typical healthcare.

So he implemented laws into place. The Charter of King Henry VIII, to ensure affordable health care for the poor, to legalize herbal medicine and to protect those who practiced it.
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MsMadge,
Hoping your Mother's temperature is back to normal tonight.
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DOCTORS! Some way too old to be talking about Alzheimer's treatment. There is so much attention to Alzheimer's right now with the walks happening on Saturday. Every newspaper has articles in it now. Our local paper, a local doctor, had his MIL on some medication that he says slowed the progression of Alzheimer's. How does he know? Nothing to measure against. The meds were probably only actually treating symptoms.

Though he was an old, retired doctor, maybe he just does not stay up-to-date? Or once you have it so close to home, you think of it a different way, denial? Look at Dr. Oz, he did not recognize symptoms in his own mom.
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Prayers for the Viking! Hope she feels better real soon! Don't you dare feel guilty MsMadge, you are an Amazing Daughter to your Mom, I don't think I've ever heard of a more dedicated daughter to their Mom in a Nursing home than you, and we all know how much work you do. These things just happen out of the blue. Thinking of you! 🌺🌺🌺
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madge - hugs and prayers for you and the Viking. Keep us updated. 🌺🌺🌺
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Madge, sorry to read about the Viking running a temp. No reason for you to feel guilty, you are with her so often. Hope all will go well.
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I'm sorry MsMadge - honestly, you turn your back for ONE minute and...

Hope it's a blip and she's feeling better very soon. What will Hoca do to keep an eye on her, did they say?
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