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cwille,

You’re correct that some people are not comfortable visiting cemeteries. Intense emotions are attached to how they feel about visiting a cemetery.

Some care deeply for family members who have died but find cemeteries creepy so they don’t go. Others find comfort in having a place to visit and remember their loved ones.

I used to be afraid of cemeteries when I was young. Everyone here visits cemeteries often, We have unique cemeteries. We even have tours for visitors.

I grew to totally appreciate them as sacred resting places for our deceased. They are also a place for us to go and reflect on their lives.

We have beautiful cemeteries here in New Orleans. We honor the lives of those who have died.
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Bridger I understand that there is a lot of the story I don't know and defer to your judgment.
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CWillie, I think my brother could have taken 20’ minutes out of respect to his mother who died last month and to his elderly father who is grieving the loss of his wife of 60+ years. At this point it’s irrelevant, he’s made it clear his family means nothing to him.
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Uhm, I can understand why someone wouldn't want to make a trip to the cemetery part of the visit, although some people find comfort in visiting the graves of their loved ones when I tend to those in my own family it is pretty obvious that the vast majority do not.
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Bridge, I can see why your dad tell you not to notify your brother when he passes. Your brother refused to visit his own mother's grave because he didn't like the family cemetery location, so it's unlikely that he will make the effort to go to his dad's funeral since it will be at the same ceremony.
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Bridger, I am so sorry that your brother showed his true self and motives after a 50 year absence. I do wonder if he is so ashamed about never seeing your mom that he couldn't face her.

You are an awesome daughter for hosting him and his daughter for your dads sake.

Now you all know and that is the good thing that has had. Like polar bear said, it is important for any parent to know and not wonder.

Job well done!
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Thanks everyone.

I think the visit settled my Dad’s mind on my brother. It was closure for him. I wish things had turned out differently, but it didn’t. My dad wanted to visit the cemetery where Mom is buried. My brother said no - he didn’t like where the cemetery was. It’s a family cemetery out in the country. He could have put forth that little bit of effort for Dad. My Dad told me not to bother notifying my brother when he passed. I hope Dad changes his mind about that. But not my call to make.

Family disappointment. Way too many of these situations.
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Bridger,

I’m so sorry that your brother behaved this way. It’s very, very sad.

He built up your dad’s hopes only to disappoint him. Your dad doesn’t deserve that. None of you do.

I don’t blame you for being upset and I would not host another family gathering for him either. He blew it! You were gracious and he wasn’t appreciative at all.

I guess the only good thing is that your dad did get to see him. Sorry that your niece wasn’t more friendly. Your brother is setting a terrible example for her.

It makes us all wonder why these things happen. Trust me, all families have their issues with certain family members. Sadly, you aren’t alone.

Again, I am sorry.
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Bridge - sorry for the disappointing visit. On the positive side, your dad got to see his son and get to know him again after 50 some years. He doesn't have to wonder anymore how his son is and where he ends up. That's huge for any parent.

But very sad that brother shows up to see if there's money for him. I hope your dad can take comfort in knowing he has a good caring daughter.
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Bridger: Aww! Big hugs to you tonight.💞
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The big visit is over. It was not great.

My brother looked good. His daughter is pretty. She seemed very bored visiting our tiny town. My brother made several snarky remarks which I let slide. My husband was very quiet (his normal demeanor when angry). My sons stopped by and after hearing a couple of his snarky remarks politely left.

My dad early on appeared very happy. We left for our usual after dinner walk. I thought it would give them a chance to talk privately. They were here for about 3 hours. After they left my Dad was quiet. He finally said he thought my brother had changed very little. He said his daughter was not very pleasant. He said my brother was trying to find out about his and my mother’s estate. My dad seemed sad when he went to his room. I feel so bad for him.

I guess what everyone says about the relatives always appearing if they think money’s involved is true. So sad.

I have no desire to host a return visit. But if my Dad wanted the visit, I would go along with him.
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Hope all goes well, Bridger.
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Oh my, Bridge. I bet you have butterflies in your stomach. Hope it will be a good reconciliatory reunion. I'd love to know what happens.

A couple quick clean up tips I read somewhere. Open curtains and let light in, that will brighten the rooms and makes them feel airy and clean. Also, a nice air freshener will make the rooms smell good and clean too.

Good luck.
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My older, longtime missing in action brother called again last night. Instead of coming in November, he and his daughter are coming today. I couldn’t say no. My dad was too excited. So I’m baking, straightening up the house and hope my sense of dread is ill founded.
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Send,

The rain has been coming down heavy!

We aren’t in the direct path. The forecast predicted it would rain like this.

That’s life in Louisiana! I am ready for the hurricane season to end!

Thanks for the prayers. Was just watching television. Hubby fell asleep in his chair. Going to bed in a bit.
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Are you scared NeedHelpWithMom?
The storm is not hitting you straight on I understand. Is that correct? But lots of rain, and wind? Stay safe.

It must be a scary time for you and could trigger storms in the past that really affected you. And your communities, worried for them too.
Are you staying up all night?

Prayers for you, your family, and all of the persons in the path of the storm. Praying that the Lord weakens the storm, calms the wind, comforts your heart. He is good at that.
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Yes, grew up in Colorado, south Denver area. I would never go back there to live! It has changed so much, I don't like it at all anymore. Dread going there. I am just north of a very small town. No traffic, rudeness just is much less, friendlier, people will do whatever they can to help other people. I am a homebody and always will be.
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My neighbor decorates more for Halloween than Christmas! Hahaha.

There are mummies, an entire graveyard, ghosts, etc in his yard!

He’s kind of weird. He goes over the top with everything! Oh my gosh! The fireworks on New Years or July 4th sounds like a war zone! He sets off freakin bombs!
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NobodyGetsIt: Thank you; I am.
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NeedHelpWithMom: Falling DOES hurt! Thank you so much. My smart DH told me to get an appt with another ENT. Was able to schedule for tomorrow.
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Glad,

Are you asking why we remained in New Orleans after Katrina or returned after the devastation of our city?

Many did relocate to our areas. It’s certainly understandable for those who did that.

Others though, our hearts are connected to this city. It is not an “anywhere USA” kind of place. It’s unique in many ways. Many people feel a European vibe when they experience the culture in our city.

Certain parts of New Orleans will never change and other parts are lost forever. I’m actually doing my family tree. Family ancestry is fascinating.

Would I ever leave the area? Not sure, yeah I think I would in the right circumstances.

I loved traveling to other places before being a caregiver to mom. Caregiving changes our lives. Traveling was very limited then. A weekend away here and there when I could find a sitter.

For now, Louisiana is home. I suppose it will always be home in my heart.

What about you? Did you grow up in Colorado? My daughter is loving Colorado. It is a beautiful state! We honeymooned in Colorado so it’s very dear to my heart. We flew into Denver, visited Vail, Estes Park, Colorado Springs, etc. It’s gorgeous there!
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"Llamalover47,"

Hope you are feeling better today!
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Delta is projected to land as a major storm.

It’s a cat 3 storm. God bless Lake Charles. I feel for them.

I just hate seeing them get hit back to back.
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Oh man, the poor Lake Charles residents are evacuating again! They are still dealing with the horrible destruction from hurricane Laura. Looks like Cameron parish will get slammed! So sad!!!

Looks like New Orleans will not get the brunt of this storm. We can live with rain! We deal with rain quite a bit. Flooding can be an issue with hard rains.

Thanks Glad, I appreciate your kindness.

We evacuated to Texas for Katrina. I was very fortunate. We got a hotel suite and I called a good friend of mine in Texas to meet for lunch. She insisted that we stay with her. She lives in a huge house with plenty of room.

Some people foolishly thought they could ride out the storm. Sadly, many died.

A major issue with Katrina were the levees breaking.

Mom’s house had NEVER flooded before during storms. I remember as a child the street getting water for hurricane Betsy but it did not enter our home.

For Katrina when the levee broke mom got nine feet of water. It was horrible. I have awful memories, just awful. The residents of New Orleans will never forget Katrina.
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Coyotes howling in the distance. They have been very active recently, hear them nightly.

DD1 OMG! She still sounds so terribly high maintenance. Almost feel like unfriending her on FB. She has 1,700 some friends and climbing. She wouldn't miss me. She always posts memes about what the ideal, perfect man is. Now she is switching committed one to one relationships every two to three months. One of those that cannot be without a man in her life? And doing a darn good job of scaring them off at the same time.

Reminds me so much of TS1!

Just strange she is so self-assured posts about her accomplishments all the time. Posts pictures of herself working out, etc. She is lucky she hasn't attracted a stalker yet.
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Stay safe NHWM. Hurricane again! Evacuations, again! That would get very old very fast!

Were you there for Katrina? Why did so many decide to stay after that devastation?
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Feel better, Llama! Good luck getting to the bottom of things. Falling hurts!
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Bridger: That is odd and must have shocked you.
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NobodyGetsIt: Thank you so much!
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Sorry about that "Llamalover47,"

I don't know all the lingo but, glad you didn't have the other TIA!!
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