On My Mind

shell - so glad to hear about the changes you are making. Glamorous doesn't matter - just that it works for you. Definitely your mother has taken enough of your life. Thx for your prayers. I am praying for success for you and your sweetie in all aspects of your life.

Golden,
I am going to find a new therapist although with this Covid thing it may take me some time. I did talk to my case worker last night and she found someone to help me get my business plan together and will help with finding funds to start my food truck. It's not glamorous, but it's a start. I think my mother has taken up enough of my life that is why I am moving in a year. My sig-other and myself need to save some more money and get our ducks in a row. My plan is to have a great life with my sweetie!

I pray that you, your sil and dd don't have Covid and that you are all well. Your family will be in my prayers.💗🙏

Hugs!!

(((((ali))))) so so glad to hear that you are on your way to a satisfying career. What a change from a few years ago!!!! Mature students are the best! Sorry they are charging you so much.

Re the vaccine, I feel it in the air too. Not sure we will see much change by spring but it surely is coming. and a new normal with it. I am already looking forward to shopping in my old stores. 😊

Have I mentioned yet that I started college with Purdue's online curriculum? I've probably been too busy to share lol. I was a bit panicky about being able to keep up with workload but so far I'm managing. According to projections, I'll have my BS in Psychology in Applied Behavioral Analysis in 18 months, and then I plan to use that to apply to Occupational Therapy programs. I'm so glad I found a way forward for my career and educational goals. Purdue is expensive and they are charging me out-of-state tuition which I find funny since it's ONLINE so it's mostly out-of-state students. It is what it is, I received some help through financial aid and plan to pay the rest out of pocket. Fingers crossed everything will work out. I'm working really hard each week on the material and I'm learning a lot more than I remember learning in traditional college classes 25 years ago.

There are articles in the news here that Chicago could start receiving covid vaccines in as little as a couple of weeks. It said that they will go to healthcare workers first, of course, and that the supply will be limited. But... it seems to signify the beginning of the end of this nightmare and I'm hopeful that by Spring, there will be a big change back to normal daily life. We shall see.

(((((shell)))) it does sound like you need a better therapist. You can't save someone from themselves and their bad choices, but you can ruin your own life trying. You can have a great life with your sig other.

Had a 2 1/2 hour phone chat with my oldest son who called this morning as he is considering a career change and wanted some feedback. I am blessed by the relationship we have and to be able to be of help even if it is only an understanding ear. When he was in town we used to go for lunch together several times a week and have great conversations. I miss that but am grateful for the phone contact.

Prayers for sil (and all of us) who has been exposed to covid on his work bus He has been tested and we are awaiting results. He shows no signs. A few days ago (after the exposure) he was over here picking up some stuff for the dump. I didn't know and I would rather they had told me and that he hadn't come till I knew he whether he was clear or not. Fortunately I rinsed my nasal cavities and gargled after they left. Sigh.

I hope you find a caring therapist soon. I definitely wouldn’t want someone who fell asleep on me!

I just sent a private message to you.

NHWM,
I have been in therapy all my adult life and I really do feel this one does not help me with my emotional baggage. No I don't feel that he connects with me. One time, before Covid hit and was in his office and I was telling him about what was going on and he fell a sleep...that has never happen to me before. We usually talk about what he wants to and it has nothing to do with what is going on with me-emotiomal. He offers Christian counseling but that hasn't helped either. He usually doesn't stay on that topic for very long.

Yes, I have thought about finding a new one. I guess, I am a little leery because most of the therapist are very young, not have much experience under their belt. I will say, finding a good therapist is getting harder to find.

And Yes, I saw that movie and that line. This not the first time I thought about finding a new one!!

Shell,

You have so much on your plate! You have been struggling with this for a long time.

You have a great SO that has supported you. You support your SO beautifully, which doesn’t surprise me at all because you have a loving heart.

What would you say about the overall relationship with your therapist?

Overall has he pleased you? Or do you feel as if you haven’t ever truly connected?

Let that be a guideline for your decision. Is this the first time that you wanted to find a new therapist? Or has it crossed your mind before?

Find a new therapist if you know that you are uncomfortable for valid reasons. Does he acknowledge your reasons for feeling the way you do?

My therapist told me from day one that I would most likely get upset by certain things that he said but he did acknowledge my feelings.

My therapist a realist, a no nonsense man, which I happen to respect and appreciate but there were days that I wasn’t ready to hear what he was saying.

After I thought about certain subjects and I had time to process it, I felt differently.

I learned to view myself through his objective eyes and that motivated me to move forward in my life.

I had been stuck in gear for a long time!

It felt great just to know that there were new possibilities.

I had been blinded by my situation for so long.

Did you see the movie about Ray Charles? There was a line in the movie where his mom said to him. “Ray, you are blind, not crippled.”

So freakin true! We become stagnant in our lives. I did, for way too long!

Even if we stumble and fall, it’s okay. We are still moving.

You are not a cripple. You are a smart, vibrant woman with a plan.

You are on the verge of making it happen. It can and it will fall into place.

I have seen your faith. It’s going to happen.

Focus on moving forward more than feeling stuck right now.

On my mind...

Hummm, I think I need to find a new therapist. I had a bad day yesterday and wasn't doing to good today. I had a 1p.m appointment today and thought this is good timing. I woke up with anxiety and the feeling like I could just jump out of my skin, plus, I was a little frustrated as well; on a scale 1 to 10 I was at a 3. Well, went to my appointment and left feeling like a loser and my frustration was a 10! I have been with this guy for 2 yrs and I don't feel like he is helping me at all.

He tells me that I am angry, but offers no ideas on how to work through my anger. I have even came out and asked him how can I control and resolve it. He told me to keep talking to my sig-other about the things that are upsetting to me. REALLY! My partner is suppose to do my therapist job. My poor sig-other has heard it over and over. And guess what-it hasn't helped.

Furthermore, today my therapist tells me that I need to work on my time management skills. REALLY! Ok, I tell him! I asked him, "what do I stop doing?" Before I go off the deep end. Let me start with this, my therapist found a foundation that will help me get my food truck so I can go back to work. However, I have lots of paperwork and research to do to get it off the ground. It is a very slow process, which is fine by me because I have so much crap to do anyways. My therapist knows that I am the only caregiver for my mother. So, I make the decision to move out and buy a house because we can not afford to pay rent as it has gone up so much that a house payment would be cheaper. We do have a little money saved but not enough for a down payment. So, my therapist gives me a web site of a foundation that can help. Now here is the problem, he sent me text of the web site a few days ago; when I saw him today all he wanted to talk about was how this foundation helps people like me. He went on to asked, "if I had looked into it yet?" I said, "no, I haven't had time." He than said, "you need to make this a number one thing to do. Stop doing everything else because you are wasting your time and it will be beneficial to you to get away from your mom." Which, he is right, it would be beneficial for me to get away from my mother. So, I asked him, "what do I stop doing?" Do I stop doing the research for the food truck? Do I stop running errands (paying bills)? Do I stop doing my mother's finances or stop doing my finances? Do I stop doing laundry, cooking, cleaning? Do I stop taking care of my cats? Not that they are a lot of work! Do I stop taking my mother to her Dr's appointment or getting her Rx? Do I stop going to the Drs for myself? Do I stop taking my sig-other to the Drs, which he won't go to if I don't go with him. Do I stop doing the dishes? When our technology breaks or doesn't work right, do I not fix it or call someone to fix it? When something of mine comes up missing, do I just stop looking for it that way my mother can just keep stealing from me!? By the way, most of my stuff is locked up, however, she has stolen some clothes. Do I stop doing Bible study or listening to sermons? What in the h3ll do I stop doing to find time in researching this foundation??? I told him that I will get to it when I can. This is where he told me that I needed to work on my time management skills-I have great time management skills, at least that is what I have been told. There is only one of me and there are just so many hours in a day, plus my therapist always tells me to take a time-out, which has been getting harder to do.

That is what is on my mind!!
Oh by the way, I have days that I am very sick and can't do much!!

I don't feel like he is helping me at all...I feel more broken than I have in a long time. We never did get at the root of my problem today! I feel like he was hammering today!

Glad, you are discussing a luxury car then per say. Your dream is about finances and money and a fight over it.

Our full moon tonight has a halo around it.

Nothing left to see or do, so saying goodnight to my after midnight buddies.
Even though I an still wide awake.

Need: There were our fur kids.

Shell: Thank you. Oz-boy was our baby. I knew he had suffered a stroke because my mother had. Your kitty lived a long life. DD's kitty lived to almost 19.

Ocicats are very dog like, can fetch, can do Cirque Du Soleil stunts in their youth and so no to catnip!

Glad,

🤣 hahaha. She’s a transplant! Her heart is still cheering on the NOLA Saints.

Who Dat!!!

You had better make her some Broncos masks!😀 🏈🎅🎅🎅

Glad,

I heard that. Sorry that some of your players are out. Covid has hit the NFL, our coach had it earlier when it first hit NOLA. We have one player out, Armstead with Covid.

We have Drew out! His injuries are pretty bad. His replacement is fantastic though!

My daughter said she is still wearing her Saints jerseys and her Saints masks that I made her! LOL

NHWM, relax, not a big or impressive win! Denver was playing without any of the top 3 quarterbacks. Had to use an emergency quarterback that hadn't played that position since college. All because of carelessness and COVID restrictions.

AND remember where your daughter lives.😘

Geaux Saints!

31 - 3

Game just ended. We beat Denver!

So far we have won eight games in a row.

Who Dat!!!

Lot's of people spell it wrong. It's all good!

Send,
I know you were and it is funny. I have no idea why I spelled her name with a u. It's all good!💗🐦

NHWM,
Isn't that the truth! Some of our animals are smarter than some of our family members!!!


Glad,
"Watch out for Greeks baring gifts." Just saying...

Llama,
That is one old kitty. I had a cat name Spooky when I was a kid and he lived to be 18 yrs old and I thought that was old!

Shell,
Was just teasing too about the new spelling of Gershun's name. It was funny to me because 5 years ago, I was the one misspelling her name!
So, one does not have to be durnk to misspell something.

Llama,

They become part of our family.

Well our animals are nicer than some family members! LOL

We had 2 Ocis, as in Ocicats. Bought them in 1999 from Purrfurdots Ocicat Breeders in Pennsylvania. Had our male already bought and put in his carrier to go home to Maryland. Out of nowhere a female jumped literally on top of the carrier as if to say "where do you think you're going without me?" So husband said "can we write another check out for her?" No problem - check written. Put her in same carrier and off we go. Well, it turns out that Ozzie (our little boy) and Cleocatra (our little girl) were half siblings! They had the same sire! They also were both born on New Year's Day of 1999. Cleo lived only to age 12, but Ozzie lived to age 20, 6 months and 5 days of age. He died from a stroke. Cleo had lung cancer.

Golden: My late 20 year old cat loved to watch tv.

Glad,

Dreams can be confusing.

Do you want to see your sister?

It wasn't a corvette. It seemed to be a cream color, maybe a tinge of very pale green when the sun shone on it the right way. Looking at pics online of convertibles it was similar to a masarati. It was low in the front and higher and boxy in the back crunched and rusty back end.

TS2 is twisted sister a long, long, saga through my caring for my mom. Long, long story.

When I woke I just felt very puzzled and confused. Ts2 has been reaching out lately, gift cards for my bday, and invite for Xmas. All after hearing basically nothing from her for nearly three years.

Golden,
The Toonie story is very touching.
I don't remember if I have heard it before.

The bird videos that Tweety-bird watches on Youtube would also be good as cat entertainment. Wondering also, does everyone get Youtube in other countries?

Gershun,

Your kitty looks so comfy snuggled up with you!

Shell,

Pour all of us a glass of Merlot! Pinot Noir is fine too.

Golden...I don't know if you can get You Tube,but if you can,there are some great cat games on there made for cats to interact with,like strings and bugs.
My 3 babies get glued to it and sometimes they attack the tv.
The best thing that's happened lately with mine is that my all black cat,Lovee' is sleeping with me like Iv'e always hoped for.
My babies mean the world to me and I will always believe they were sent from Heaven to bring me some love after Mother died.
I don't know what I'd do without them.