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llama, i hope you’re ok!! speedy recovery!!
🍀🍀🍀🌸🌸🌸
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Llama, get well!
Nacy,
Not strange at all. There is this concept of U curve measuring happiness which is high for children then decreases especially in 40s and then goes up in 50-60s.
Maybe we just learn to respect ourselves more, have less problems, or handle them better. Maybe we just simply decided to be happy no matter what.
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I get angry when I read how a young person has their life stolen from them by being forced into caregiving for a grandparent . Those are the most heartbreaking threads .
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Yeah, multigenerational dysfunction is hard to overcome
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On my mind is the endless complaining my geration does about kids not knowing how to tell time.

Like seriously why is it bothering people so much, times change things change it's a fact of life.

I have to hear it constantly.

Most of the time I ask them if they know how to read a sun dial

I'm sure this might ruffle some feathers out there. Because I guess I'm not the norm since I have yet to talk to anyone my age for more than 5 minutes that's hasn't brought this subject up. Just really needed to vent it out!!!
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@Anxiety ,

Are you sure you haven’t visited my MIL lately ?

I’m tired of her complaining about my kids generation to us . I tell her times have changed , then she always says “ Well I don’t like it “. I normally say ,” well we can’t stop it .”

Next time she says it , I’m telling her “ Nobody asked you “. I’ve tried being nice but I’m done listening to it , and my tongue bleeding .
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Lol, maybe it's NYS.
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Knowing certain things can help a person remain independent in their thinking.
No one here misses the absence of dates on posts?
Because "times are changing" "things are changing" and "we can't stop it"?

It is not important? Have you ever entered to search for an update on "fire" or "earthquake" news, and found you have been reading about an earthquake two years ago? (The date is important.)

Mind control (also known as brainwashing, coercive persuasion or thought control) refers to the way some people have tried to control the beliefs and behaviours of others (of any age, any generation).
It is a process where a group or individual uses methods to persuade others to change their basic beliefs and values.  A group or individual may use unethical methods to persuade others to believe and do what the manipulator(s) want. It often harms the person being manipulated.
The term has been applied to any tactic, psychological or otherwise, which undermines (damages) an individual's control over their own thinking, behaviour, emotions or decision making.
Theories of brainwashing and of mind control were originally developed to explain how totalitarian regimes appeared to succeed systematically in indoctrinating prisoners of war through propaganda and torture techniques.

Control of what day/time it is; what & when you eat, and a whole long list of mind control techniques are more successful if you cannot tell the time, read a calendar, know what day it is, know where you are, etc.

Have you ever heard of prisoners scratching the walls with the number of days gone by? Why do you think they would do that?

I get it, I get what you are saying about the older generation complaining about the younger generation. And if any of us come under the control of a narcissist, we need to fight their attempts at control over us.

When caregivers are done listening, we need to walk away.
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Sendhelp just described my manipulative mother in law. My children won’t even visit the horrible woman who interrogates, criticizes , tries to force her views on us , and brow beat because she thinks she’s entitled to great grand children. Luckily , my kids are on to her . And she won’t control me . I learned my lesson after dealing with my narcissist of a mother since I was a child .
My father in law was another selfish manipulator .
The only one of our 4 parents that wasn’t at all like that was my Dad .

Sometimes the caregiver is the one trying to resist being controlled by the narcissists .
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Every generation trashes the next one. It’s almost comical. Those who talk trash had better not ask their kids nor grandkids to set up their new computer!

Llama, I hope you and your husband’s health situation is improving.
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This conversation brings to mind a song by Mike and the Mechanics titled The Living Years.

The first verse:

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

A beautiful song actually.
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That song makes me cry 😢. But in a good way.
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Same here Beatty.😪

Wistful tears.
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Gershun,
Thanks for that song.
I did not recognize it by the title, or the artists, or the lyrics.
Listening, yes, I have heard it before.
Nice.
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Hello!

Here is Hello Karma. For those waiting for me, I'm on my way. Have been held up with bad weather (this is not an excuse; there really has been bad weather for thousands of years). Just wait and see. Bad people will be punished. Many caregivers are abused, taken advantage of, exploited. Especially women. Women tend to be more exploitable. If you're a woman, be careful: act in your best interests.

(If it would be too obvious I exist, bad people would pretend to be little angels). I haven't been on AC for a long time. Sometimes I take a look. Has it ever happened to you, someone clicks "like" on a post you wrote years ago, and then all the memories come back how you were doing at the time? Some of us are in the same place we were years ago. Some of us radically changed since then.

Anyway I just want you to know, karma is watching. The list is long. It'll take me a while.

Sincerely yours,

Karma
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I read today advice (not on the site) to say ‘no’ – just by itself. It said that ‘no’ plus an explanation invites a discussion or an argument, ‘no’ is just ‘no’. I thought, nicely put!
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"On my mind". People are living longer and longer. Needing more and more care.

There just needs to be some kind of changes in the world to help or accommodate that.

And much much more understanding, that those of us in are 60s should not be doing this until we are in are 70s or 80s .

Times have changed, things really need to change with it.

My parents where in the sandwich generation, young kids aging parents. But that seems to be going away. Now it's retired, grandparents taking care of there parents. I'm not sure what this is called.

My mom lives in an old neighborhood, moms 88 almost 89, there are 5 women in her neighborhood above 90. There all holding out , because they don't want to be next, waiting to see who is next. With 70 year olds taking care of them.

I remember about 20 years ago, I had to go to the foot doctor. I was sitting there , this very angry looking over 70 year old was pushing a very frail mother. I remember thinking , I don't want that to be me. Then one day I realized this is who I am becoming.

Joined this forum and made changes.

Just venting out some thoughts
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I just sent a text to my nephew calling him a dumbass for not ever taking his 6 month old to the doctor for routine check ups and vaccinations (and that's not the only idiotic things they are doing as parents). I'm tired of pussy footing around this stuff, how are people to know they are being foolish unless somebody tells them? You read tragic news stories all the time about loving parents doing absolutely stupid things like treating their sick children with prayers and herbal medicines and you have to wonder why nobody ever called them out. And with so much information available from reputable sources why oh why are people getting health and parenting advice from tiktok?
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Unfortunately Willie, these types of people will never listen.

I came so close to getting my brother arrested, because my nephew was anorexic, skin and bones. and my brother thinks religious people don't get mental disorders, and we will just pray it away.

While I was sitting on the couch with numbers in my hand, my former sister-in-law, that I was working with, called and said stop, because my brother finally agreed to letting my nephew go live with her.

It was horrible. My parents almost had to take my sister to court , she was Jehovah witness , my nephew ripped his spleen apart and my sister and her husband where refusing blood transfusion.

Going back to my last post, I think it should now be called the Club sandwich generation
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Good for you cw and nacy!

I put great pressure on someone to get their infant vaccinated with measle vaccine and more. The baby's mother didn't believe in vaccines.

Re measles, the statistics are pretty telling when you compare the death or health problems of unvaccinated babies with those who are vaccinated.
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Unfortunately I got a snarky reply, so I then asked him if he knew that his grandmother had a baby brother who died of a childhood disease (unknown) and that she herself had suffered through diphtheria. I'm sure her parents would have given their arms for the things too many people today are discarding so cavalierly. I don't know if it will make a difference but at least I haven't been silent.
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cw - Before vaccines babies did die or had lasting ill effects from childhood diseases. That's precisely why there are vaccines. Grown ups can suffer too - Mumps in adults can be very serious. You can't do any more than bring it to his attention.
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I love this show on PBS , called " Call the Midwives". It's about midwives in the 50s era , in England, a few of the episodes was before , during and after Poli.

People where begging for the vaccine.

I feel like if life was like it was back then , more people would get vaccinated especially for childhood illnesses.

The show went though, TB, polio, deptheria, all the same era.
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Anti-vaxxers aren’t vaccinating their pets. Can’t risk Rover getting autism. (sarcasm)
The prospect of a rabies outbreak should terrify everyone. There is no cure. None.
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Cwillie, Im sure if anti vaxer get bit by an animal with rabies , they will be begging for those rabies shots!
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Golden, this is the brother that is doing much more for mom , and why I was doing so much for her, to keep him from doing so much.

I know of 2 falls , she had that he covered up for her. Due to back sudden pain, and bruises.

But , " let go let God" I'm over all that.
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nacy - you can only do so much. It's your mum's choice too. I took on being POA to protect my mum from my sister. I refused to do a joint POA with my sister - it was either me alone or not me at all. Anyway "Let go and let God" helps very much with dysfunctional families.
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Golden thanks, I'm doing awesome actually. Not everything is on my shoulders anymore.

And I'm able to spend sometime with mom, do somethings for her but have a life, at the same time!

What ever happens is going to happen!
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On another topic, and very much on my mind, I got a lowball offer on the house, which very quickly got raised to something I will consider - and - they will happily take all the furniture, which I was giving away on a Fort Mc site with lots of takers. This would be a blessing for me,

We were planning to go up about Sept 15 to get rid of the furniture and take the plants and pics. They want possession Oct 15. It would be great to not have to deal with the furniture and have the house sold before the winter.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated. 😊
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Golden- that's awesome! The new buyers taking the furniture makes things so much easier
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