Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
I drink several brands and yes, Community is one of them! I like Cafe du Monde, French Market and several others.
We have a local coffee house here, PJ’s. A woman named Phyllis Jordan started the company. She has since sold it. They have great coffee! I also love French Truck Coffee.
We are a huge coffee drinking city so there are tons of great local coffee shops.
I do love Peet’s coffee too! I used to go to their coffee shops in San Francisco. Occasionally, I buy it too.
I adore Kona! It’s delicious but expensive. Too bad that I don’t live in Hawaii for part of the year. I would drink it everyday! 😊
Have to say that I am a purist when it comes to my coffee. I don’t like those sugary creamers. Lots of people love them but I actually don’t like sugar in my coffee or tea.
Just out of curiosity, who are "old-timers" here? I've seen reference to that term in a number of places, not always in a positive tone I must say. I've been registered on AC since I think 2019 and don't consider myself an old-timer, but not a "newbie", in spite of my screen name. I've seen various people come and go since then, and I certainly recognize familiar names and have gotten a sense of various people's personalities and knowledge through their writing. I've also seen references to and accusations about "cliques" and some kind of "in" group, but I admit to being pretty clueless as to who that's supposed to be, perhaps because some of it dates back to before I joined in 2019. I do know that there is much to be grateful for on this site--insights from "old-timers" and newcomers alike. And I know I've been around long enough to be able to weigh what various people say and just ignore or not respond at times. There are a few who look for dissension and some who, while well-intended, do express themslves in harsher ways than I would even if I agree with the content of what they say.
A high school class is learning about the Salem Witch Trials. Their teacher told them they were going to play a game.
"I'm going to come around and whisper to each of you whether you're a witch, an "Old-timer", or a regular person. Your goal is to build the largest group possible that does NOT have a witch in it. At the end, any group found to include a witch gets a failing grade."
The teens dove into grilling each other. One fairly large group formed, but most of the students broke into small, exclusive groups, turning away anyone they thought gave off even a hint of guilt.
"Okay," the teacher said. "You've got your groups. Time to find out which ones fail. All witches, please raise your hands."
No one raised a hand.
The kids were confused and told the teacher he'd messed up the game. "Did I?” He asked.
“Was anyone in Salem an actual witch? Or did everyone just believe what they'd been told?"
And that is how you show kids how easy it is to divide a Community.
Shunning, scapegoating, placing blame and dividing will each destroy far more than they will protect.
Don’t allow fear to cloud your decisions. Use your own discernment. Trust your heart…and your gut.
The best teachers will show you where to look, but they won’t tell you what to see.
~Unknown
An "Old Timer" knows: How easy it is to divide a Community.
Shunning, scapegoating, placing blame and dividing will each destroy far more than they will protect.
I think some of the folks who show up and talk about cliques are disrupters who are trying to sow discord.
There are multiple points of view represented here; I will admit that I think as a group, we tend towards the belief that moving an already difficult parent into your home to do hands on care is a bad idea.
I don't think we believe that because we're clique-ish. It's because we've heard/experienced so many bad outcomes with that scenario.
Sometimes folks show up here trying to preach about their understanding of what "honoring" parents is about. I think we trend towards looking out for one's own mental and physical health when caregiving, because no one else is going to do that.
I hear you and all of us have seen a wide variety of behavior on this forum.
We all have our own unique personalities and experiences in life that can cloud how we view the world.
I think that it’s healthy to read posts and form opinions accordingly.
Some information will resonate with us and other postings will grate on our nerves.
Some people will be respectful to others even when disagreeing with them and others will be extremely direct but they aren’t necessarily meaning for their messages to be disrespectful to the OP or other posters.
Some people stay out of all conflicts. They remain neutral and have a diplomatic approach.
Of course, some people are just downright disrespectful. They are usually reported for their rude comments and catch backlash from the forum and the administration of AgingCare.
I haven't been a member of this group for anywhere near as long as some of the members.
I do know that I have been a caregiver for half the number of years I have been alive.
I have been in every care scenario there is. I know all the behaviors and all that go with them. I consider myself an 'Old Timer'. In fact I would at this point call myself an 'Ancient Timer'.
There have been some that stick together but on the whole I wouldn't say I have seen many cliques. Some of us have similar experiences and similar points of view.
My main purpose for joining was to get support for maintaining the boundaries I needed while being caregiver for my mother.
The Villages is the name of the community.
i'll continue to be gone from the website. i wanted to send lots of positive thoughts, strength & courage to you all!! :) :) :) :) :) have a GREAT weekend.
I just finished watching it the documentary. Whew! Interesting! You know what? People who are totally screwed up when they are young, usually remain that way into their old age.
Some older people have it together and some are very odd! I don’t think a place like The Villages would appeal to me.
I swear, if something happens to my husband and he dies before me, I seriously doubt that I would want to take a chance on some of these old geezers! LOL 😆
My word, I wonder how many wealthy old widows are taken advantage of by men who are looking for a free ride.
Happy Mother's Day this weekend!
A special shout out to caregivers who are mothers, who have mothers.
Another special shout out to Mothers who are cat, dog, fur-babies, and pet Moms. Your rewards are every day of the year!
Get yourself some flowers so there will not be any doubt that you are valued too. Get them today, red roses will be sold out by Sunday, with a way too long line out the door.
A Mother may be the only one in a family that makes things happen, always.
Accept and celebrate that role even on Mother's Day! Don't feel sorry for yourself, or wait for anyone to acknowledge that you count too. It may be a dreaded burden on some family members to do the obligatory acknowledgement to their own mother, or to their wife.
I have often thought that a Mother could be doing what Mothers do on that special day. Preparing the family gathering meal (even if ordering out), lol.
Just my opinion.
I also registered with a Mormon website to trace my roots because they have incredible knowledge on genealogy.
I am not Mormon. I was raised Catholic but you don’t have to be Mormon to register with the site. They baptize their dead so it isn’t surprising that they have an amazing genealogy library.
Anyway, it turns out that Princess Diana is a distant cousin. Interesting!
Some of the old photos are amazing to see on these websites. It’s truly fascinating to see our family history.
It takes so much time to verify the historical records. I do feel that it is worth the effort though because it is so interesting.
One hubby per lifetime is enough for me.
😂😂. I wouldn’t remarry as an older person. But plenty do.
My grandmother lived in a senior apartment after my grandfather died . She was so proud that she got the boyfriend in the complex that all the other widows wanted. Lol.
That’s so cool being related to Princess Diana. I’m related to Chester A. Arthur, not one of our best Presidents .
Now, what do I do?
My only thoughts are how to give them away to some neighbors, to share.
Movie reminds me of the 2005 movie: The Boynton Beach Club,
or the Boynton Bereavement Beach Club. A comedy.
I will watch Some Kind of Heaven as soon as my dH can find it for me, because we don't have Hulu.
I will look for the movie that you mentioned.
These 55 and up senior communities are something else!
It’s interesting to see the various attitudes on aging. Some people age gracefully and have no qualms about growing old.
Others are enjoying a second adolescence! LOL 😆 Partying all of the time!
Enjoy your flowers!
My grandmother’s parents came from Norway. My other grandmother’s family came from Ireland. Both my grandfathers families came from England .
My one grandfather’s family coming here is interesting. The story that has passed down is ….Two brothers stowed away on a ship to come to America because King George III had hired someone to kill one of the brothers because he was “dating “ a Lord’s daughter My relative was dating out of his class , not allowed. He was not royalty or a Lords son . He was just a commoner . The brothers were carpenters, apparently that’s how he met the girl . He was hired to do work at her parents house where she lived. This was during the 1700’s .
Isn’t that a cool story? I’m glad that your family shared that with you. I love knowing things like that. We are able to learn about our family traits, their likes and dislikes. It’s fun to find out what they were like back then. Do you know the name of the ship and the date they arrived here?
I never knew my dad’s parents. They died before I was born. Every time we went to visit daddy’s family in Florida, my relatives would say that I looked so much like my dad’s mom.
We never know who we share our gene pool with!
I am addicted to researching my family tree!
Everyone finds a few surprises in their tree. It’s kind of sad that interesting stories get lost along the way and we never know about them.
My mother told me that my grandfather’s family name was changed.
One of grandpa’s brothers was a bootlegger during prohibition and they changed the name in case he was arrested so their family name wouldn’t be disgraced! LOL 😆 It’s a common British surname and they changed it to the shorter variation.
Sure enough, I saw my ancestors with the original surname when I researched my family tree.
I became interested in genealogy when I got older. I would have considered it to be boring when I was younger. It’s sad, because when we get older, the older family members are dying off, so we aren’t able to ask them questions any longer.
I am fortunate that I have a 100 year old cousin who is a hoot! She’s the one that I have always gone to for the scoop! She is a cousin on my mom’s father’s side from England.
The side of the family that stowed away to come to America kept a genealogy for nearly 300 years. I have a second or third cousin ( not sure) that keeps it up .Names , marriages , births are recorded
You need to get a copy of it so you can pass it down to your children. That would be a wonderful gift to them!
Mom’s dad was a carpenter. Actually, a shipbuilder. He could make anything. They were master craftsmen back then. Oh my gosh, woodworking back in the day was spectacular!
I have friends who own historical homes and it is a labor of love to maintain them. You can’t walk into a Home Depot or Lowe’s to buy something. You have to restore them to the original condition. Restoration is more costly and labor intensive than a modern renovation.
Your mom lived longer than any of ours. Did she tell you about her family history? What is the most interesting thing that she shared with you?
You know what is interesting too? How our parents met? Some of the stories are so sweet. Some are really funny too.
My dad saw my mom walking with her sister. He was smitten. He followed her home!
He was extremely handsome. He asked her for a glass of water. LOL 😆 I told him, “Dad, that was an original pick up line.”
Mom must have liked him. She gave him a drink of water. She said that she could tell that he liked her. Too cute!
If a man would be following a woman now, we would be calling them a stalker! 😆
I was surprised when my own sister rewrote my family history online.
[edited] Should have been confidential and private. imo.
My parents lived next door to each other as toddlers in Brooklyn. My father’s mother even drove my other grandmother to the hospital when she was in labor with mother . Which was odd, not many women drove in 1930. Then my father’s family moved to the suburbs on Long Island when he was 5 or 6. The two families lost touch .
My mother was still living at home at age 18 and my grandparents moved out to Long Island . My mother got a job with the billing dept . at the phone company . She made friends with another young woman there. Her friend had a boyfriend . The boyfriend’s best friend from high school was my father. My father had come home from his stint in the navy and wanted to date . This couple set up my parents on a blind date . During the date , my mother had told my father that she had just moved from Brooklyn . So they got to talking about where in Brooklyn they lived . My father thought this could be the little girl that he used to play with , he remembered the first name , and he asked her what her last name was . My father went home and asked his parents what street they lived on in Brooklyn and the last name of the little girl . My father was right . My Mom was that little girl . There are even pictures of them together as toddlers , my grandfather loved photography . My mother didn’t remember them playing as toddlers , she was 2 years younger than my Dad .
What an awesome story! I hope you shared this with your children. It’s so sweet.
Send,
That is awful. Why did your sister change the details of your family records? That’s an odd thing to do.
That used to be very common . My Great grandmother had a son out of wedlock . It was the big family secret until just before she died. Then she told her two children ( from her marriage ) that their cousin was actually their older half brother. She gave the baby to her married older sister who was not able to have children. They moved from New York to Washington DC to raise the baby as their own