This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
The answer was given:
"It was then that I carried you."
Back in June I seemed to have "broken"...
so severely that even my spiritual beliefs vanished! Poof!
All my empathic feelings, connections and feelings towards my family and others- gone.
I have been deeply disturbed by this- especially about my beliefs which were such a huge part of my life.
( it happened after finding all the forged checks and huge amounts my sister took out of joint account of fathers)
Anyways, yesterday I found out it is psychological trauma- it even mentions loss of fundamental spiritual beliefs as a symptom!
I have been quite concerned about myself and what happened to "me"... now i at least have a name for it..
Has anyone else experienced such a break?
"And, in other news, a woman on the west side of Bangor saw an elderly woman standing on her front lawn. It was not a woman she had seen before and the fact that the woman was wearing a night gown was concerning to her.
She summoned the police. The officer found that the woman knew her own name but did not know where she lived or with whom she lived with. The officer did some research and found that the woman lived nearby and gave her a ride home. The folks did not realize that the woman, who suffers from dementia, was missing from the house.
The caller, Susan, went back to being a good neighbor."
I have 1 week off on Aug 8th. I'm thinking of staying home on Tuesday and Thursday so that oldest sis gets "off". And then I pretend to go to work on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I'll spend those days at fave sis house.
I discovered another great free online comic, Gunnerkrigg Court.
Is anyone here a reader of the author, Ilona Andrews? She's one of my favorite authors. She has 4 book series... Kate Daniels, the Edge, Innkeeper. I didn't like The Edge series. Too much violence and death, betrayals, etc... Anyway, Ilona Andrews website has weekly updates on her 3rd book of the Innkeeper series. We're now on Chapter 9. Even though she's revealing her book chapter after chapter before it's release, I will still buy the book when it comes out.
Our house is old and things are falling apart/breaking down. Oldest sis is not much of a help. Sometimes I wonder..... Weird,....while I'm typing on the iPad and hit Enter, the cursor flashes all around the word. Never seen that happen.....
57, maybe just part of old age and/or side affects of meds... My dad's dizziness and falling were warnings of the stroke. My dizziness and falling was a heart infection. Dizziness/vertigo is just too broad for variety of health issues. So I voted for UTI since that was what most elderly suffer from.... Let's hope that the Drug works again.
That is so neat. I usually wear one set of gloves. When it gets filthy, I take it off. But trying to put on new gloves on sweaty hands are difficult because it won't go up.
She texted me this afternoon that grandpa made a real bad mess with his poop. The home care nurse didn't assist her.... As I'm typing this, I am just so exhausted. My eyes are practically closing as his pamper. Maybe sleep early.
Pam, everyone in your family are so active! My parents have always been home buddies. I guess I would too - if I had 8 kids tagging along. We actually lost baby bro (under age 6?) at the store. We all went for our last bathroom break before going to the next store. None of us noticed that someone was missing when we piled like sardines in the can ..car.. Until we reached the next store. They went back to the store, who sent them to the police station. After this incident, we had to do head counts all the time.
1. A specific tonal music can relax the muscle tension and release the endo-something that deals with pain. But I would need a stereo-something headphones. Don't have that...so skip.
2. So I found this other video by Kamil. Weird, odd! Throughout the video, he repeatedly asks: where's your headache? {I pointed to my forehead} What color is it? {huh? Blaaack?} What shape is it? {{round?}}}..... This was soooo weird! But because my headache was getting worse, I tried it.... He's right! My headache went from a 9 to 1 in the pain scale level.
3. Neck massage using pressure points behind the neck. I tried it and my low pain level of 1 shot up so fast to a 5.
Windy, not a 'sandwich' caregiver but I heard it's harder for those who are. At least you didn't go overboard by going to one end of the spectrum (100% on mother and 0% on hubby and kids.) So, you're juggling it fine even if you feel like you're being stretched too thin. Yeah, meds takes about a month to kick in. Just keep an eye on the side effects. My cholest pills took about 2 months before I felt the real bad side effects. Not talking about the 2 months of pounding headaches, ringing ears, etc... When it started affecting my logical numerical data-building info at work, I knew it was time to quit cold turkey. (A business associate said that she stopped her pills when she got into her car after work, and completely did not know how to operate it!) So, be sure to keep an eye on the side effects.
Fave niece on Saturday: "OMG Aunty, you won't believe what I was craving yesterday!!!"...
I looked at her, and replied: Chicken soup. Yesterday, I had an overwhelming Need to eat chicken soup. My lunch hour is only 1 hour and I know only 1 place close to my work that has ready-made chicken soup. At the mall. In all the times I pass by that Filipino restaurant, I always see the soup. So, yesterday, I eagerly went there. Guess what? They Had NO Soup!!!" I gave niece a dirty look.
Niece's mouth fell open. Then she started laughing sooooo hard.... I didn't think it was That funny!
She wants to be presentable to her grandaughter and her new boyfriend before she never sees them again.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
Don't freak out-the temporary caps by the dentist can look quite decent while waiting for the necessary dental work. Only freak out if you want to.
Anyone else here in a 'sandwich' a.k.a. stuck between somewhat young kids and your elder?
My 19 year old son is experiencing really bad anxiety attacks. Our doctor put him on Prozac for OCD. Two weeks in, it isn't helping much, but he said it could take up to a month to kick in. Just feel so bad for him. He's been thinking he has a brain tumor which his grandpa died from when my son just turned 14. Bad juju. Kid is very sociable and made Dean's list his first year in college. Thinking a good talk therapist may be in order. Worry is my middle name. :(
Hubs and I went to take my mom out to lunch today and I immediately could tell something was wrong when we arrived by the look on her face. Poor dear. One of her front teeth crumbled apart this morning when she was brushing. It looks horrible and she is mortified. To compound matters, my niece (her grand daughter) and boyfriend are flying in from Los Angeles on Wednesday before they move to Germany. It is likely this is the last time she will see her grand daughter. Wish me luck getting an emergency appointment at the dentist Wednesday morning. Hubs can only get that day off work and mom is in a wheelchair. I can't lift her. Needs to be in the morning as the airport to pick my niece up later is a long drive.
Nothing is ever easy, is it?