This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I will wait for Wednesday for the follow up.
"Any change in a mole, skin tag, wart, or change in color, irregular borders must be checked out" is the standard of care. Your doctor is wrong about not being covered by health insurance. Just wrong, and shows inexperience.
It, (whatever "it" is) is NOT just a cosmetic procedure!
If it bothers you, bleeds, changes, interferes with your clothing-and a million other reasons why it is NOT COSMETIC.
Presenting yourself before the doc "because of changes" is reason enough to obtain a biopsy. Makes it "suspicious", requires a proper diagnosis.
The doc should know how to write this up for insurance to cover the procedure.
See a different doc, because now it is infected, torn off, growing, with pus. You may have been misdiagnose. See an urgent care doc, today, because today is Friday. Think 'excision' instead of burning it off, think 'biopsy', think 'infection'.
Not aware of any suitable home remedies that can treat a botched medical treatment. imo.
You can, and should return to report the issues you are having. This part must be covered, now that you definitely have a covered condition. You can always call your insurance company and ask where to go now.
I also agree with Cwillie's advice here.
Of course, this advice is the warning label-type. I did work temporary for a dermatologist, but Stacey will know more.
But not over-the-top from what you have written. imo.
Take good care of our Book!
Once you get the infection under control you can think about the wart remedies (if that's what it really is), my sis had a plantar wart that she finally got rid of with the duct tape method.
Two days later, today, I came home and took off the band-aid. OMGoodness! What I thought was allergy to the band-aid's tape - is actually new warts!!!! I see one that is round and looks like it would have pus in it. Oh no!!!! I've been googling home remedies. Tomorrow, I'm going to buy Vit E Oil, bananas and potato. Nope, I won't do the apple cider vinegar since I tried that before when I had a wart on my fat toe. It's not good on your good skin. Well, time for bed..after I figure out how to tape those warts...
If it stops raining tomorrow, I'm going to look for one of the standing ladder, close my eyes as I climb up and change the bulbs. But just in case I fall, I will make sure no sharp objects are exposed. And to have the cellphone on me - in case I need to call for help. I need to learn to do things on my own by thinking outside the box. Family next door...pshaw.!! ...
You need some me-time that doesn't involve the elderlies. 😉
I just came home today. Cleared out the fridge with old food, cleaned the clogged kitchen sink, emptied out the food-slop bin, and took out the kitchen trash..... oh shoots! .... {{rushing out to the kitchen...}} I forgot I was boiling eggs at full heat! It's been boiling for over an hour. Again... I hope it's not yucky smelling and rubbery like the last time... =(
I turned down an all-expense trip to Manila and some cruises. If I cannot even find anyone to cover for me when I wanted to go off-island in the summer (when teacher niece is off and my other 2 full-time college nieces are off), how can I find someone for a week while I'm gone?
I would be joining the media/travel agent group flown to Manila, Philippines on Friday, afternoon on my own, dinner at Marriott, Annie show afterwards. Saturday a Gondola ride and end with a Sunset cruise. Sunday we fly to Singapore and then board a Superstar Gemini cruise roundtrip Singapore-Malaysia-back to Singapore on Wednesday, board the flight back to Manila. Overnight in Manila and have the whole day free time/shopping.
Do I regret not going? NO!!!! I have never ever had the desire to fly to Manila. Fave sis has always wanted to go because of the cheap shopping. I have so many Filipino friends who, they themselves, hire bodyguards when they go. And they speak the language! Two, it's typhoon season! In the past few months, Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan have been hit by typhoons. Crazy to join a cruise during typhoon season.... Three - I've never ever wanted to go on a cruise - not even if it's free. Yep, I'm Not an adventurous person.
Because she was sitting up right away and thereafter, the bruise blood migrated down the side of her face and down her neck as time went on.
I actually looked it up and this IS what bruises do!
The nurses and staff held a meeting right after the fall about how to prevent future falls and are checking in on her more and keeping non-slip slippers on at night. Her bed cam is working.
Did blood work to see about anything, which i saw, and her numbers are perfect.
So I am calmer now.... you just want to protect them you know? so hard for me who has never even put a pet in a kennel...
The marks look exactly like two fingers and very dark.
Mom does wander and it was apparently Very early in the morning they found her- (an answer that keeps changing) yesterday an aid said 4am-
she had also questioned the head nurse about the marks and was told "the bruise spread from her cheek" - Uh.. and turned into two dark one inch lines?
I honestly cannot imagine how a person can fall on their neck.
What bothers me the most is how the story kept changing as to what happened that morning. "She hit her dresser. She was in the bathroom."
Last week they found her on the floor early morning.
I saw her today and the bruise on her cheek is about gone, but there are two dark bruises on her neck- ya... right where someones fingers would go, same size and shape.
I am aware I could be completely out of line, but god i wish she could talk :(
Yes, I took photos and emailed them to the appropriate people who said they will "look into it fully"... .. so upsetting...
Now the difficult part of being a responsible caregiver is to take care of yourself because bad things happen when you don't help yourself as you have already found out.
Think of it in terms of what would happen if you become incapacitated. Hubby can't step up to the plate BIL certainly won't, he will whine and find a way out.
So what are you going to do?
Yeah, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and carry on because you have no choice.
Too late for that the cat ate your bootstraps. There has to be a way to walk away from FIL because in your current state you are too sick to continue so the cycle has to be broken
Now I am not suggesting pack a bag and run away. You don't have the energy for that. So do something before they have to call an ambulance and you don't have the money for the co-pays. As you have no money I assume FIL has none either except SSI, is that correct?
Start by contacting yours and FILs Drs and ask for help. Call Social services and see if they can help, same with your local Area on Aging and Health department.
Can you apply for Medicaid? Are you old enough for Medicare and could find enough money for supplementary insurance. If you can find a reason to take FIL to the ER maybe for that hole above his anus. Insist they admit him and take care of that and when that is done insist on rehab whether he likes it or not. He will probably refuse in which case you refuse to take him home until your personal health is addressed.
Who has POA medical for FIL?
Would FIL qualify for Hospice? Contact them anyway if not Hospice palliative care may be the option.
If you are in such severe pain you certainly need that hysterectomy and possibly rehab for yourself if there is no one home to care for you. Contact any local charities and ask for help. This is no time for pride. Try Catholic Charities. They at least have social workers who can support you and point you towards any help available.
Does hubby have health insurance through his job for you?
Now relax and take some deep breaths, I am not suggesting you pick up the phone first thing in the morning and make all those calls at once. Pick one like the area on aging where they can help you find help.
It is important to start somewhere even if you can't face it. If you really can't face anything go to the ER yourself and tell them you are facing a complete breakdown and feel suicidal. Go to a decent hospital ER that has inpatient psychiatric dept. tell them you have left FIL alone and he can't care for himself and is in danger. You are an actress, this must be one of the greatest roles you will ever play. Insist, insist on help bring on the drama and desperation if you have to but do it in despair not anger.
I am sure many others will have suggestions and support love and prayer for you so don't give up and keep in touch, we do care.
My dad, "K?"
I replied, "Yes."
He asked, "Are you awake?"
I replied, "No." Silence....
Dad, "Okay."