This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Dad is sundowning. Last night, past midnight, he was yelling. After he finally slept at 1am, I couldn't sleep at all. I stopped looking at the clock when it was 2:30am. I just couldn't sleep. I tried reading here on AC which 99% of the time knocks me out. But it didn't work. I finally remembered the 'sleep like a dead' position. Lie on my back, 2 pillows below my knees, a microbead eye mask, my long froggie neck pillow over my tummy and my hands rested clasped on top of it. Sigh.... I finally fell asleep.... Uhm... because I have acid reflux, I eventually woke up at 5am choking so badly, I had to sit up trying to breathe. Hehehe.. this is why I sleep on my side...
Oh my! I don't celebrate Christmas. Since i came home from work, I've been watching modern TV movies on Xmas. It's like a marathon. I was laughing on the past 2 movies. I'm now on the 3rd one. I've never ever seen these movies. It's not like the Macy's Santa, or that Life movie where he sees the present/future/past spirits. These are all new ones. Anyway, I'm having fun watching it - as a first time. Would I re-watch it? No. But it was fun watching it the first time!
Oh, do you mean I can download the coursera app onto the laptop? I've never thought of doing that. I wonder if that's so much better than accessing it by the website browser. I'll give it a try... Thanks, Glad!
Online course. Very difficult using the iPad to read the forums. So I go back to the laptop, and....it absolutely refuses to open the FORUM button. So, I opened the Internet Explorer... and.. Walla!! I have access to the forum. Well, week One is basically the same info as previous years. So I'm hoping the forums are interesting.
My new HP wireless mouse don't work because...the USB ports aren't working.
Onedoor, I actually enjoyed my breakfast at Denny's. New cook because the fried rice actually looked like fried rice with soy sauce (and not yellow looking fried rice). Cook wasn't stingy with the scrambled eggs and had gone overboard with the mushrooms. Too bad he/she skimped on the ham in the fried rice. This is the first time in years that they've actually cooked the rice and scrambled eggs (with mushrooms, onions, green onions, ham, peas, jalapeno peppers) perfectly!
The play. The first half I was freezing. Couldn't go use the restroom since I chose to sit in the middle row for perfect viewing. People were on both sides. The minute intermission came on, I jumped up, looked left and right to figure out how to get out, and ... I was the 2nd person in line for the ladie's room. I was able to move to another seat that I didn't freeze for the next half of the show. Uhm... you know.. with the light dimmed, I was struggling to stay awake during the play. I had to force myself NOT to sleep since I moved to the 3rd row from the front. The actors actually did great with audience eye contact when facing us and doing their spiel. Costumes were great.
And, I just love how they implemented their fellow college singing group into the play. It was wonderful to sit there and listen to them before opening singing and playing instruments (banjo, guitar, etc...) They chose songs that allowed one person at a time to step forward and do a solo verses, then back up to join the rest of the group. At least 3 of them have beautiful singing voices when I heard them singing their solo. (One girl had problem maintaining her voice - maybe not her singing range? It sounded like she was holding back her voice when she should be raising it?) They sang during intermission and at the ending. Wonderful! Hehehe.. I think they were my favorite out of the whole play. Hmmmm.. Maybe I need to check their college website and see when their singing class have public presentations. Free public singing. I think it sounded more beautiful because they were dressed up in costumes...
Online Coursera Course: Living with Dementia
Windy, whenever I mention what you guys say, I stumble on the word 'friends'. I view most of you as friends but it feels strange to say 'friends'.
I asked nephew if he could work overtime this Saturday. The play starts at 2pm and I don't know how long it will last. He remembers me bringing him to one when he was small. He told me to go ahead and take my time. Yippee! I'm going to turn off my cell phones, tell him if there's any emergencies, to knock on aunty's bedroom door (oldest sis) and if it's a real emergency - to call 911.
It's a William Shakespeare romantic comedy... Comedy! My favorite. I can laugh and just enjoy myself completely... =)
I think my talk with him gave us a pass. Mom is in a room where no one hardly goes and she is very discreet about her use. She doesn't vape gross scents like coca cola or pineapple or any of those scents. Fingers crossed it will last until she passes.
I'm thankful that it didn't come to pass. Fingers crossed because of new owners of the AL. Geez! Always waiting for a shoe to drop.
"I might have known," said Eeyore. "After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on."
One last peek before going to bed. 1:00am and I'm not sleepy... could be that frisky giant cockroach running around the Livingroom floor. Let's be thankful it's not flying. I'm terrified of cockroaches and I think that's why I can't sleep. It might crawl on my face. Ohhhh...my eyes are drooping...my body's tired but my mind is wide awake. Night!
Even thanksgiving was like that- I felt one step behind and out of it...
Everyone talking except me, and when I was asked a question I was like "whut?"
Windy, I'm glad you got to spend some quality time with your grandson. By the way how is your mom dealing with the no vape rule? I think those things stink much worse than a real cigarette. I thought a man was smoking a cigar because the smell was thick like a cigar. It was a vape.
Lousy laptop shutdown without warning. It's not like my old laptop. I accidentally discovered how to open 2 separate Edge website (email and Amazon), had several Word Documents and several Excel Expense documents opened. I was reconciling my free ebook list, the email orders, etc... and the laptop just shut down. The side panel was really hot. Yes, I have hooked up the laptop fan below it and we're in an aircon room.
I am blessed my mom is in AL and now FIL in AL on hospice. It's in no way easy, at all. I do understand all of you doing it and trying to keep it together at home with your loved one. It didn't work for me and my mom. It doesn't always work and it's okay if it doesn't. My mom is going on year 6 at AL. She complains constantly but at least I can sleep until 7. She now gets up at 1:00 a.m. in AL and goes to bed at 5:30 p.m.
Do I want to deal with that? No no no.
Isn't it wonderful how people come by right when you need them? I remember when my mother fell and a PT just happened to come home and helped me get her up. It was like angels were sent in our time of need. Your neighbors were your angels.
Hope you didn't hurt your hand too much.
Males in the West seem also to have this superiority but that is very slowly changing as women become better educated and assume more responsible jobs. of course there is a great cost in my opinion to this advance which the women mostly have to suffer in that it involves working out side the home.