Sometimes I feel so tired - of work, of caregiving, of family, of just life in general. It's the same thing over and over. Wake up at 615am, change dad's Depend, skip breakfast because I'm running late for work, I'm late again for work. Stress from work, headaches by noon time. Come home exhausted, aching, and no dinner. The minute I arrive, sis is gone. Dad wants this or that, and I still need to eat dinner - it's now around 630-700pm. I usually end up snapping at him because I'm HUNGRY, tired and hurting. But most of all - Irritable.
I turn to the TV to help me find laughter. Lately, it's the show "Sex sent me to the ER" that has made me laugh so much. It is just sooo funny! Irritating at times, but funny. By the time the show is over, I'm feeling so much better.
Sometimes, I come on Agingcare.com wanting to share some funny stuff I read or saw on TV. And I have no where to share this with you all. I don't feel comfortable putting it on the YOU or the DYS or even Parents say Funniest Thing threads/discussions. Because it just doesn't 'fit' in those category.
So, I've decided, I'm going to do a discussion thread in which I or anyone else can freely come and share something that made them laugh or smile.
These are my favorites - that I watch/read over and over, when I feel so down.
FROM AGINGCARE:
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/you-know-you-are-caregiver-if-163390.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/funniest-thing-aging-parent-said-to-you-152708.htm?cpage=1
GOOGLE FOR LAUGHTER:
1. Pepsi Maxx & Jeff Gordon presents: Test Drive 1 and Test Drive 2.
2. Dinosaur Pranks from Japan
3. Coffeeshop New York Carrie prank
GOOGLE TO TOUCH YOUR HEART:
1. Canadian Bank Thank You Automated Machine
2. West Jet xmas gift 2013
Dementia Community:
Google - CNN's World's Untold Stories: Dementia Village - YouTube
(This is sooo unique, int the Netherlands! I cannot vision this in the United States.)
This is what I wanted to share with you all. I hope at least one of these helped with your day. =)
She says, A WAFFLE CONE PLEASE.
He asks, HOW MANY SCOOPS?
OH, ID LIKE THREE PLEASE.
WHAT FLAVORS MISS?
OH LETS SEE....VANILLA, STRAWBERRY AND CHOCOLATE.
IM SORRY MAM, WERE OUT OF CHOCOLATE
OH, I SEE. WELL MAKE THAT ROCKY ROAD ROAD, VANILLA AND CHOCOLATE THEN
LADY, LIKE INSAID WERE OUT OD CHOCOLATE!
OH, RIGHT. THEN I HAVE BUTTERSCOTCH, PEPERMINT AND CHOCOLATE
LADY..CAN YOU SPELL THE VAN IN VANNILLA?
OF COURSE....V...A...N
VERY GOOD. CAN YOU SPELL THE STRAW IN STRAWBERRY?
SURE...S..T..R..A..W
HOW ABOUT THE F....... IN CHOCOLATE?
THERE AINT NO F..... IN CHOCOLATE?
THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU LADY
THERE AINT NO F.....IN. CHOCOLATE!!!
She went to the front door of the first house & asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed & told her that the paint brushes & everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded. The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes." A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it 2 coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's an Audi."
I've been teaching now for about 15years. I have 2 kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own 2nd-grade classroom a few years back.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn & waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy & Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's stomach, & Luke grew in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh & wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then about 2 Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Erica puts a hand behind her back & groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Now this kid is doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back & groaning.
"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mother to lay down in the bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, & it just blew up & spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
The kid has her legs spread & with her little hands is miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10. Then all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow & returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell-day, I bring my camcorder - just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
~~~~~~~~
FB poster Jane commented: "Is this how it happens Becky?"
Becky replied: "She made it sound bloody quick..."
Another poster: Absolutely brilliant. I am going to change my title to a middle wife.
Love how, with such little encouragement, you all are going to make life funnier and funnier.
Then, with so little effort on my part, I come back here after a difficult day, and see how funny you are!
Thanks!
what does this sign mean:
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Well the sequence does not have the letter L (pronounce EL) in it so the sign means NOEL NO EL
But what does it mean when you just don't have an "L"?
Like, no L, no noel, or anything like it?
Maybe I should google it (no, not it, but L or, No L).
Dumb blonde here.
Noel. No "L". LOL or no l then we have an "o"
DO NOT PASS WHEN OPPOSING TRAFFIC IS PRESENT
Intelligent response someone spray painted on sign:
NO S....T!
SO DOES DRIVING TOO FAST
Google:
Jeanne Robertson "Don't send a man to the grocery store!"
One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting & laughing with glee.
When he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, & they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
Ron frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up, Ron said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Some old men can still think fast!!
When they retuned from their trip Bob was at the feed store and a neighbor asked him about the trip. Bob said they went to New York City and he went to the top of the Empire State Building and enjoyed the nice view. The neighbor asked how Bill liked the view. Bob said Bill didn't go up there cause he's crippled ya know.....
Bob told of going to the top of the Effiel Tower but Bill couldn't make it cause he's crippled ya know.........
They made it to the Leaning Tower of Pizza, but alas, Brother Bill, he's crippled ya know.
The neighbor asked where Bill was. Bob replied that he was in the hospital with a broken arm. How did that happen asked the neighbor. Well, said Bob, right after we got back from our trip we went to see one a them faith healer fellars down at the church. He was a healing people left and right and he called to brother Bill to come up to the stage. He put his hand on bills forehead and yelled Come to Jesus Brother and throw you right crutch away! And then he yelled, Come to Jesus brother and throw that left crutch away!
The neighbor was astonished. He asked, Well what happened then? Bob replied, Well he fell down and broke his arm. He's crippled ya know.......
Bob's wife goes out & moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out & moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, & with a worried look on her face, says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With love & understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'