Sometimes I feel so tired - of work, of caregiving, of family, of just life in general. It's the same thing over and over. Wake up at 615am, change dad's Depend, skip breakfast because I'm running late for work, I'm late again for work. Stress from work, headaches by noon time. Come home exhausted, aching, and no dinner. The minute I arrive, sis is gone. Dad wants this or that, and I still need to eat dinner - it's now around 630-700pm. I usually end up snapping at him because I'm HUNGRY, tired and hurting. But most of all - Irritable.
I turn to the TV to help me find laughter. Lately, it's the show "Sex sent me to the ER" that has made me laugh so much. It is just sooo funny! Irritating at times, but funny. By the time the show is over, I'm feeling so much better.
Sometimes, I come on Agingcare.com wanting to share some funny stuff I read or saw on TV. And I have no where to share this with you all. I don't feel comfortable putting it on the YOU or the DYS or even Parents say Funniest Thing threads/discussions. Because it just doesn't 'fit' in those category.
So, I've decided, I'm going to do a discussion thread in which I or anyone else can freely come and share something that made them laugh or smile.
These are my favorites - that I watch/read over and over, when I feel so down.
FROM AGINGCARE:
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/you-know-you-are-caregiver-if-163390.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/funniest-thing-aging-parent-said-to-you-152708.htm?cpage=1
GOOGLE FOR LAUGHTER:
1. Pepsi Maxx & Jeff Gordon presents: Test Drive 1 and Test Drive 2.
2. Dinosaur Pranks from Japan
3. Coffeeshop New York Carrie prank
GOOGLE TO TOUCH YOUR HEART:
1. Canadian Bank Thank You Automated Machine
2. West Jet xmas gift 2013
Dementia Community:
Google - CNN's World's Untold Stories: Dementia Village - YouTube
(This is sooo unique, int the Netherlands! I cannot vision this in the United States.)
This is what I wanted to share with you all. I hope at least one of these helped with your day. =)
Noel. No "L". LOL or no l then we have an "o"
But what does it mean when you just don't have an "L"?
Like, no L, no noel, or anything like it?
Maybe I should google it (no, not it, but L or, No L).
Dumb blonde here.
what does this sign mean:
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Well the sequence does not have the letter L (pronounce EL) in it so the sign means NOEL NO EL
Love how, with such little encouragement, you all are going to make life funnier and funnier.
Then, with so little effort on my part, I come back here after a difficult day, and see how funny you are!
Thanks!
I've been teaching now for about 15years. I have 2 kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own 2nd-grade classroom a few years back.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn & waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy & Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother's stomach, & Luke grew in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh & wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids are watching her in amazement.
"Then about 2 Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Erica puts a hand behind her back & groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Now this kid is doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back & groaning.
"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my mother to lay down in the bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, & it just blew up & spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
The kid has her legs spread & with her little hands is miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10. Then all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow & returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell-day, I bring my camcorder - just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
~~~~~~~~
FB poster Jane commented: "Is this how it happens Becky?"
Becky replied: "She made it sound bloody quick..."
Another poster: Absolutely brilliant. I am going to change my title to a middle wife.
She went to the front door of the first house & asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed & told her that the paint brushes & everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded. The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes." A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it 2 coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's an Audi."
She says, A WAFFLE CONE PLEASE.
He asks, HOW MANY SCOOPS?
OH, ID LIKE THREE PLEASE.
WHAT FLAVORS MISS?
OH LETS SEE....VANILLA, STRAWBERRY AND CHOCOLATE.
IM SORRY MAM, WERE OUT OF CHOCOLATE
OH, I SEE. WELL MAKE THAT ROCKY ROAD ROAD, VANILLA AND CHOCOLATE THEN
LADY, LIKE INSAID WERE OUT OD CHOCOLATE!
OH, RIGHT. THEN I HAVE BUTTERSCOTCH, PEPERMINT AND CHOCOLATE
LADY..CAN YOU SPELL THE VAN IN VANNILLA?
OF COURSE....V...A...N
VERY GOOD. CAN YOU SPELL THE STRAW IN STRAWBERRY?
SURE...S..T..R..A..W
HOW ABOUT THE F....... IN CHOCOLATE?
THERE AINT NO F..... IN CHOCOLATE?
THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU LADY
THERE AINT NO F.....IN. CHOCOLATE!!!
Only one,but the lightbulb has to really want to change.
By the way Windy.......I am impossibly blonde with a little help from my hairdresser. :)
There will be two in each store. One regular dentist office and one express dental service for people with 15 teeth or less.
Did you know the tooth brush was invented in West Virginia? Yes, cause if it had been invented anywhere else it would be called a TEETH brush.
Do you know why it's so hard to solve murders in Alabama? Cause the Dna is all the same and there are no dental records.
The country boy was in the big city visiting his cousin, the Italian Stallion. City cousin was determined to show the country boy a good time and tells him to meet him after work at a popular singles bar. He also tells his hayseed cousin to stick a big baking potato in his pants as this always attracts the girls. Later that night the city cousin walks in the singles bar and sees his hillbilly cousin, takes one look at him and says, "OMG! You're supposed to put the potato in the front!"
It's an adversarial process but you have to be civil to achieve a contract acceptable to both sides. Through the years I developed good working relationships with most of the folks on the other side.
One lawyer particularly, was a bit sqeemish with my jokes. I would always tell the latest lawyer joke to try and get under his skin, like: WHY DONT SHARKS EAT LAYWERS WHO FALL OVERBOARD? PROFESSIONAL COURTESY......
There's hundreds of those. He never had any ammo to shot back till one day he told the following story:
This Union guy was on vacation in Nevada. He's walking down the street and sees a sign for a cat house. He goes in and the Madame asks if she may be of assistance. He gives her a short speech: "Now look here! I'm a union man, been a union man all my life, my father and grandfather were union men too ya know. What kind of cut do the girls get in this here establishment?" To which she replies, "The house gets 80 and the girls get 20." He says, "I cannot do business with your establishment. You are exploiting your employees for profit!" He leaves in a huff.....
This scenerio is repeated at several houses of ill repute throughout the city when lo and behold, he sees a big neon sign: CANDYS HOUSE OF PLEASURE. OUR GIRLS ARE MEMBERS OF AFL CIO LOCAL 25379.
He's amazed at his good fortune. He runs up the steps into the lobby and asks the Madame about the wages. "The girls get 80% and the house gets 20%" she tells him. He says he is a good union man and would like to do a little business here. She leads him into a lounge and tells him to pick out one of her girls. He looks around for a bit and indicates that he would prefer an attractive young lady sitting nearby. The Madame says, "No, you'll have to go with old Sadie over there. She has more seniority."
I guess you know all the lawyer jokes then? Like What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Now windy would you consider flying up to Vancouver and being our Christmas entertainment this year? Union wages? Consider it.
Windy, I think you have a new career in your future.
too you'd be so pie-faced by the time you got here you'd of forgotten your own name let alone all your funny jokes. No, Windy you have to fly. Theres just no other way.:)
Like the old Paul Simon song right?
Sliding would require more nourishment to keep warm. Better make sure you send Windy lots of liquid warmth in breakproof bottles for his journey. Maybe he could try a sled dog trip - that would be really exhilitaring...kind of like a marathon Iditarod. The dogs would help keep him warm. Nothing like snuggling up to 8 or so furry sled dogs.
a ride on a snowmobile in minus 27 degree weather. Came home with frozen snot all over my face. Not a pretty picture.:)