I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
My sis(bitch) still hate her right now! said mum should be in a home HERE do you know why so she can flit in easy from airport she dosnt give a sh*t that mum would be in a NH miles from me but luckily she dosnt get to make these decisions as im the "caregiver" mum will go where i decide. My sis wants its all mum in a home near the airport so she can visit mum AND visit her friends win win! for her!
I never knew selfish until mum got ill i cant ever see us getting on ever again. But i will say my piece when mum goes then move on.
Sallie like ive just written "ask your angels for help" if you dont then i will ask them for you! weve been through crap ive had a hard life what with mum and dad killing each other then my own ex being abusive lots of failed relationships now this crap with mum i deserve to be happy and youre too darn right i will be i havnt gone through all this for nothing!! I do believe the good you do comes back to reward you tenfold and my reward is coming!!
Stuff my siblings they will never be happy i am determined to get exactly what i want out of life when mum passes i will be so happy people will think im NUTS why is that woman always smiling? HA!
Watch this space! We all gotta have dreams if not whats the point! Where do i see myself in a years time my own home, a nice man, two donkeys, my cat and a golden retriever dog! You have to believe it will happen and ask for it!!
I have been doing this now since last year since my friend got me asking my angels for help! my life is bad BUT not as bad as it was and when i need a few things i buy a scratch card and win a small amount IE the other day as im going to spain i saw this fab dress beautiful colours etc i wanted this dress but couldnt afford it i went away bought a scratch card and asked the angels to get me that dress "i won 20 euros" the dress was 25 and im now looking at it!
I light a candle every night and beg for an end to all this suffering for mum for me even though i dont feel it my friend says things are moving along fast. And if i think about it things are moving mum is progressing and now shes fallen out of bed so i think its only a matter of time beofore something happens and the nurses and docs will take this more seriously!
Try it Book i was a big sceptic but i have to say since dad dies and spooky things happened to me i definetly believe. You have to believe for things to happen! Its worth a try!
The woman in the taxi said you must be lucky as shes seen me win a few times i told her about the angels and now in the past month she has won over 200 dollars?? So go figure!!
I do money rituals also as im desperate! yes im turning into a white witch! I have angel cards and i do them everyday to see what crap is ahead of me and its spooky i know when something is going to happen.
Also as its not that easy to attract good things "thank the angels for all that you are grateful for so far" the more you do this the more will come to you. I do this every morning brushing my teeth!!
You can ask your angels anything you want Green candle for money,red for health pink for love which is what im doing now so i am bound to meet a man on my holidays!!
Trust me try it i am not nuts!! let me know if anything in your life changes!! and good luck if i happen to win the lotto before you i will send you on a nice holiday!!
Anyway, I pick up the phone huffing and puffing, and she's terribly upset and completely confused. She had a very hard time telling me (what I think happened but can't be sure) that she called her dr. She's not able to process much at all, especially anything procedural. I had to explain again, exactly what took place, that led to this decision, and that there really is no recourse (I had responded to all of her ranting about taking action by making mostly noncommital "we'll see" type noises. It was the best I could do at the time). After this conversation, it seemed to sink in. God, I really hope so. She actually stated that she would then need to get rid of her car, wouldn't she? And I told her I'd help her with that.
Now, my mom has always been a narcissistic, critical, disapproving, rather mean-spirited, pain in the a**. But she told me, "Thank you for breaking the news to me so gently." I don't think she was being sarcastic (believe me, my ears really pricked up to decipher what she REALLY meant). So, I was thrown a bit by that. And I told her I'd call her today to see how her first appt. w/the home care person went, which I don't really want to do.
I told my husband it's a shame there's no holder for a shot glass on the treadmill, because I really could have used one! The sadness of it all just hit me, and I really prayed that this "Groundhog Day" of giving bad news would just please end. I think this hurdle has passed, so that is good. Now, onto the next one, sigh...
I always daydream of winning. I would choose the yearly stipend. On the first year, I would give to all my siblings. The ones who helped me (physically, morally, etc...) would get the larger portion. The non-participants would get a measly amount. After that, the yearly stipends would go to me and those who supported me. It sure would be nice to win. I just reminded myself. I need to pray tonight fervently for Karma or mother nature to please let me win the local giveaway. I don't even have to be present to win.
Kazzaa the point is that I care about YOU. And the point about that is, that I think hating people is bad for the person that does the hating. So I don't want people I care about and sympathise with to get sucked under by feelings that harm them and don't get them anywhere. That's all. I'm not lecturing anybody about their moral shortcomings - apart from anything else, I'm not in a position to. Big hugs.
Also CM we had a break in, the back door was KICKED in we had NO back door for 3mths had to put stuff up against it to stay safe?? my sisters even with my screams wouldnt pay for a new door so you can imagine how that makes me feel about them!
The guilt i have is that i cant look after mum 24/7 with no support so they can just get on with life as if nothing is happening its not fair and shes thier mother too she brought all of us up in very hard times and they all have a part to play in this role ive tried the old "well theyll get theres" they wont.
If i didnt have siblings i would look after mum until she takes her last breath but i am not letting them away with this. SO no i have not made a choice here to look after mum im here looking after her until my finances change then either she moves with me goes into a home or we spend a fortune for a 24/7 carer and lose the house but my life is not going to be taken away from me because of selfish siblings. And when mum goes i will not be having a relationship with them but i will be letting them know how much ive moved on and how happy i am as they will never be happy my two sisters are all about money thats thier mentallity. No matter what they have they are never happy. One sister has and owns TWO houses? other sister has over 90000 in savings and im here with no car to drive mum around in the little time she has left.
We come here to rant and if we say we hate our siblings then no need to take it so serious and make us feel bad for feeling like this?
Obviously your siblings havnt treated you as bad as some of us have been treated here so please "HOLD" on the lectures as i cant abide being lectured i do wish bad things on my siblings but i also know from experience of life that selfish people sail through life i mean how can you get stressed over something when you simply dont care? Roll on october because as much as i love my mum and will do right by her i will not give up my life to look after her while this lot take several holidays a year and gripe when i need a break. Mum refuses to go into respite free? a really nice NH but she wont go so another reason for me to leave here and let my siblings wake to this serious situation.
JeanneGibbs was very firm but understanding as she imparted her words. We All have choices. I chose to take care of my parents. My siblings have a Right to choose whether they want to help me or not. They chose Not to. That is Their Right. She went on and on. I was angry at her words. I Fought against it. I Refused it. Went to sleep. Woke up the next morning, and accepted her words. It was true. I Chose to be here - not out of love for them - but of my religious obligation.
If one was able to retrace my beginning here on AC, you would have seen me posting all over the site. I was venting everything that I kept inside for over 20 years. Vented my anger, my bitterness. I'm still working on the Resentment. As you can tell in my current posts. But, hey, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!
I don't remember what I said about my siblings. I do remember one night, standing near the sliding door, staring at my brother's house and up into the sky - cursing all my siblings. Over and over. Asking, begging Karma to visit them. Then a few days later, 2 of my sisters in Colorado had that wild fire in their neck of the woods. I felt sooooo bad. That night, I went back to the sliding door, and wished back the Karma and curse. I changed my mind. Now, I just ask Karma to please please visit them. No more cursing bad stuff to them. I'll settle with Karma - what goes around, comes around.
I'm not saying you have to LIKE their choices. I'm not saying I don't think my dear darling brother is a complete emotional f*ckwit sometimes, or that my other dear darling brother appears to have left the planet. But stop ill-wishing people! - what good does it do you?
I am going to start asking for money and more help for mum as i cannot live like this anymore. See how many holidays shell have then if she has to pay for mums care soon while i fck off and get my life back!
If they bring you back a t-shirt that says "my sisters went on holiday to Cape Verde and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" you have my full permission to strangle them with it.