I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Any chance that you can give this care now over to the state?
Are you officially legally the POA or guardian? If you told us I can't recall.
I would call APS, inform them, and the facility where Dad is, that you cannot go on handling this mentally and emotionally, and are requesting state guardianship. They can get this done.
Who is paying this attorney? Is that YOU? Because that's not OK.
They cannot discharge him unsafely if he has nothing and is on Medicaid. They can't dump him on your doorstep. And they will get this Medicaid crap figured out quick enough if you say you are OUT.
Find a Social Worker there, speak to the admins there, call APS.
Get this OFF you.
I am also anxious at heart. The first year, doing and learning all I had to re my bro I would get so anxious sometimes (I always SEEM quiet and in control) that I would absolutely freeze like a statue. I mean I could not move, could not see, could not hear; just stood frozen till it passed. That sort of cortisol feel is so bad for us, so unhealthy.
Thinking of you.
My husband is cancer as well and would not talk much about what bothers him, I am Leo and full of drama, sign thrives on validation, so when Leo feels like their radiant spirit has been (gasp!) upstaged, they can resort to drama.
But as they say opposites attract.
He provides good anchor for my flair.
Gershun,
So sorry, it is not easy.
Fear many will go through some drastic changes or face unpleasant events this year.
Be especially good to yourself during this sad event.
I think hubby isn't ready to open up and be vulnerable at all right now. Anger is easier. Grief counselors tell us that those grieving will often do anything to blame someone, doctors, food sources, governments, nurses, hospice, nursing homes, hospitals, and yes, even themselves. If you cannot stay angry you must walk into the despair of grief and manage your way through it. The mere thought of that is too much to face.
I would not bring things up, but just tell hubby "I am here for you. Right now it seems to me you don't want me to do anything at all for you. If that changes I am right here to support you in any way you tell me I can do that. Just let me know. I won't offer again, but know I am here supporting you best I can in my heart, and that I will always be here for you."
Then just get on it. Offer him a glass of wine. Ask if he would like to watch something on Netflix with you. Take a walk. Go to dinner. Cook him a pot roast. Anything you can think of.
So sorry this is going on. You are helpless to know how to help when he won't let you in. If he needs to do this particular thing alone right now, let him.
I drew the short straw to deal with the Medicaid issues. Neither sister wanted to do it. It’s not that anything is going wrong per se , it is that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s the way I’m wired.
All of it is happening because we sold my mothers house and my father inherited a share under the NYS per stirpes rules that needs to be paid back to Medicaid .
Just trying to get through it. Hoping when this is done it will get better for me.
I just wish my parents did some estate planning so this did not happen the way it did.
I did an online grocery order and when it arrived I checked the online receipt and saw I had been overcharged by some $30 for the salmon. Mentioned that earlier. So I put in an online complaint and suddenly the price of salmon was corrected and reflected in the total for which I was charged. Good.
Then, just to be picky, I totalled the items on the receipt and came up with $5.07 less than they charged me (R came up with the same) and the order history page showed the total as even higher than that by over $3.00, which they didn't charge me for.
Three times I communicated with the customer care department and stressed that the salmon price was corrected but I would like an explanation for the other figures. Finally I sent them screen prints showing my cc charges, their online receipt etc. and asking for a $5.06 refund if they could not justify their total.
That brought a quick response.
Firstly they issued me a refund for the salmon of over $30. 🙄
Then they said they had sent the other discrepancies to the appropriate department and I would hear back in 1-2 days. OK
I answered back that I had written several times that they didn't owe me for the salmon and they could keep their refund.
That one got answered very quickly - they have rescinded the refund lol.
I am now waiting to see if they can explain the discrepancies.
Obviously it's not the $5.06 that matters but that either they have hidden charges or they can't add. I say 50/50 chance of either one.
As you can tell I do like math. I found it fun until I reached calculus. My brain didn't like that.
I will buy more salmon and watch the prices. What they charged me was the price per kilo.
So this morning I decided a good day to color my hair. Got the stuff all in my hair, all ready to rinse, turned on the water, no water pressure. Hahaha. Water main broke. I just had to do the best I could with water just dribbling out of the faucet.
I don't believe this. I just got another email asking me to send proof of the (now non existent) mischarge for the salmon. Again I answered them that it has been corrected.
They also asked for smaller files of my screen shots and when they receive them THEN they will look into the problems. Sure I can do that but I do think there is some manipulation going on.
Like insurance claims - they put the burden on you dance to their tunes.
ETA
Actually I just added up the image file sizes I sent them and they come to just over 1 MB while PC says they can only handle 10 MB. So I guess they can handle what I sent them but just don't want to.
My whine is with Canada Post. Apparently they have mixed up my request to extend my mail forwarding such that not only in mail not forwarded but the notice to tell me that I had extended my mail forwarding was redirected to my old address. My neighbour got the mail from the new owners and contacted me and sent me a photo. I called the number on the card from Canada post and was told it was the wrong number -please call xxx xxx xxxx. So I called that number only to be told it was the wrong number too please call - would you believe it -the same number I was calling.
So I got online and found a number that worked and after some time of telling my story and waiting for it to be written down by some one at the other end, I was told someone else would be in touch by email in a couple of days, I thought they could just correct the error but apparently not.
In the process of all this, I had a cup of tea sitting where it usually did and my mouse working where it usually does and it slide off the arm of the sofa right into my cup of tea. I fished it out, pouring tea from every orifice but the lights were still on and it still worked after a fashion. I dried it out and left it to dry further and got a fresh mouse.
About 20 minutes after that, that mouse slipped off into my fresh cup of tea. I've sat here on my computer using various mice for a year now and never once did one slip off into my cup of tea, nevermind two.
You can't make this up.
It has not been my best day.
Golden, that's a bad day! The second time the mouse went in your tea, I would of either broke out in laughter or tears.
I'll take the largest bug possible and give it my best to take it out but anything with a hairless tail and I want to move but need to be guaranteed it is completely rodent free.
nacy - I had a giggle at bedtime, otherwise it was "Look at that. Oh, well" and get the paper towel for mop up. 🧻
Riverdale - computer mouse! I rather like field mice They are cuter than house mice. 🐭 but they better stay in the field!
nacy - my dd has to do similar. Good bras for her are very costly.
I got an email from Canada Post this morning and it looks like it's resolved. We'll see. My neighbour said she is still getting mail for the previous house owner after 20 years, which may say more about the previous owner than it does about Canada Post.
I still haven't heard back from Superstore about their online discrepancies with my order totals. I think I'll go back and add up some of my previous orders to see if this is a pattern and, if it is, be a nuisance to them. I can't say I expect any positive outcome.
But, before that, I'll pamper myself with a hot, rose-scented bubble bath and then make some pb cookies from the pb I'm allergic to so I am not tempted to eat them. Treat for R! He deserves it after basically making the Thanksgiving turkey dinner, cleaning up the kitchen afterwards (it never looked so good), mostly making the turkey soup, then getting himself his own supper yesterday. He has developed a lovely habit of once he is finished with a bowl or plate washing it, drying it, and putting it back in the cupboard. Not necessarily all the dishes but some! Not to say that I don't encourage this! 👏
Laugh at life, Before Life Laughs at you by Alina Rubi
Have a good day, all, or at least a better one!
One neighbor said, give up the cleaning, it's not gonna help.
Cups of vinegar, someone said beer, nothing is helping.
I will say my kitchen is sparkling, now.
There not all that expensive either 😃
Sister is texting , begging me to come get her . I feel bad but she can’t be home alone when nephew at work , plus her sundowning is bad . Nephew was losing sleep . I’m tired of telling family members they can’t go home .
And I feel bad for my nephew , I know what it’s like in his shoes .
way - that's heart breaking! It must be awful to be receiving those pleas from your sis, but you are 100% right. She needs placement. I am so sorry for both you and your nephew. There is no easy way through this illness. I'm glad nephew knows his limits and so do you. ((((hugs))))
re problems with grocery store -I got a "no reply" email that I have been assigned a new case number. The origin of the email is nothing like I have seen before. It says it is "no reply" but there is a reply link at the bottom of the email so I am gathering more info to sent to them just in case it does work and to give them a little more to go on. Wish I had am IRL calculator. I do better with those than the app on the computer. I probably should be house cleaning rather than totalling figures, but I need a little fun.
Golden, I actually got one of them the other day, that said, do not reply, then under a box that said reply. That's interesting anyways. 😂
Way, so sorry, that's got to be so hard!!
Are your ears ringing now that all the road construction noise has stopped?
Golden, I was skimming posts to try to catch up and also thought for a minute you were talking about a real mouse!
I am mouse sensitive - since moving here mice have built a nest my behind my glove compartment, gnawed through my AC cable and chewed my windshield wiper hose in half so now it squirts wiper fluid onto my front tire. I honestly don’t know what I did to offend the fauna around here.
Way, those texts have got to break your heart. I’m sorry. Your nephew is lucky to have you.
I bought those stick things, 😆, they look a tad unattractive, but the work, and now that the road work has filled the hole back up. What a summer, they started in May, I think I must live where all the water pipes met, they have been on my corner on and off all summer. It feels like years now. 😂. It was may we had a small earthquake and all of us neighbors thought it was the road work.
Now it's just a matter of waiting for the dust to settle and the cleaning to begin. 😐