And my grandma can't live with him because she has dementia and hits him....they WERE mom and dad to me growing up and it hurts how do you deal with this bs I wanna strangle the care givers for some reason and I'm so depressed..... He had a stroke a while back and at the time didnt affect him to bad mentally, now he's having mini strokes kidney failer the works and its heart breaking....I just wish I could go back to when he gave me my first beer in high school and we when to garage sales together and fishing.....
I don't know what to suggest. I can understand your feeling frustrated and upset, but that doesn't really get you anywhere. Is your grandfather getting enough help? Is he used to visiting your grandmother but now isn't able to? How is she doing?
The thing about your grandfather's health difficulties is that they will really exhaust him. Kidney failure, and it sounds like problems with heart function too, these make a person feel desperately tired. Coping with your grandmother's dementia on top is going to be just too much for him, even with you there to help and supply, er, interesting remedies!
Could you please explain a bit more about what has happened and what the current plan for their care is, exactly?
Think about it this way. Your grandparent's own parents had passed on some time ago, and if your grandparents had favorite aunts and uncles, possibly siblings, they will once again be reunited in the after-life when the time comes. What a joyful reunion they will have.
How I wished my Dad could have stayed on earth to be with me. But he was so heartbroken when my Mom had passed a year prior that he wanted to be with her. Thus I had to let him go when it was time.
Go live a full life, and enjoy those wonderful memories. I also remember my Dad's father teaching me how to fish, and here I was a girl of 10 years old, but that didn't matter to him, I turned out to be a pretty darn good fisherman, and that made him happy :))
Now I'm older and I understand it's all a part of our cycle of life and death. Give yourself permission to feel sad and angry and cry if you need to. Try (if possible) to reflect on the good times. Spend time with your grandfather and let him know how much you love him and how much you'll miss him. Say what you need to say. Hugs...