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This is not good for anyone. If your father won't look into other care for your mother, you may have to involve social services. He sounds depressed, burned out or else he may be showing signs of dementia. If there is a third party - non-family member - who he will listen to, then try that. If not, I'd ask social services to do a welfare check. They will likely see that changes need to be made. Good luck. This is a rough situation.
Carol
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