So she's in her second week of rehab. Every time I visit she just wants to "lie down". Plus she has a completely unbelievable fear of falling, I mean she's comfortably in bed and gripping the railings like she's on a boat being tossed at sea. She says there's no vertigo or dizziness there either. Today I merely tried to raise the bed a little so she could eat properly and see me and she starts carrying on like it's the worst torture imaginable.
So I was talking to the therapist and she tells me that on Friday they had to change the mattress so there was no other option but to get her in the wheelchair for a while. This has been a goal since day one. She tells me that after a brief struggle she did get in the chair and remained there for a few hours with no issues. I was astonished as Mom never mentioned it.
So today I'm there and we figure let's go for it again. They sit her up and immediately the death grip begins. This little old lady who's always too weak to move was fighting off three people and resisting with everything she had. There was no risk whatsoever of falling. Eventually the therapist had to give up and i could see the annoyance there, as I felt it too.
I'm wondering if maybe it's me. When I'm there she never stops with the hapless routine and the fear of falling, then I hear that while I wasn't she's actually doing something. Perhaps i should skip a few days and see if it helps?
Right now I'm looking into and screening a few home companions/aides who can come by and keep an eye on her while I'm out. After a while I tend to get kind of squirrely being in the house too much LOL. Still though, it beats the heck out of hanging around the hospital or the rehab home.
Glad to hear that things are otherwise going well though, especially with the home aide. You and your mother both deserve a break.
Glad to hear things are going better for you and your mom. I haven't been here for awhile either (been on vacation - much needed), but glad to be back. Hope the search for companions/aides goes well, and you find someone well-suited for your mom. Take care.
I'm holding up too LOL, it's challenging at times but honestly she's not really all that difficult. For me the most stressful aspect of it all is the endless phone calls, bills, paperwork, applications and etc. Today's big drama was that the visiting nurse's group is discharging her already, so now the task is to line up another service to work with the visiting physician re: blood work and etc. The home health aide has been coming three times a week for an hour and she's been a help (and Mom likes her too) but it's not an insurmountable loss, as it is only for an hour. Other than the HHA the service was as disappointing as the last one IMO. The PT was a poor match for Mom but then again she doesn't really cooperate much. He did offer a few decent tips but otherwise not much else. Otherwise they really didn't do a lot, the nurses were in and out and the social worker mostly just left pamphlets, which I kind of expected anyway.
So right now my goal is to bring someone in a few times a week, which should be financially feasible in a month or so. As nice as the current HHA is, she's only here for one hour three times a week first thing in the morning, which honestly isn't much. Mom can be trusted home alone long enough for me to zip to the bank, the grocery store and etc. but I need someone who can stay for a few hours and keep her busy while I get a break. And it'll be even more important once the weather turns ugly and cabin fever sets in LOL. The oldest granddaughter has been more helpful as of late, although she's really only good for "supervision" and not anything heavy like bathing or changing. So that's where we stand right now, holding up well and trying to keep it that way.
The rehab bill is especially galling, as her last stay there was a joke. Because she was "loudly complaining" all night, their solution was to toss her in a room with an even louder patient, as opposed to maybe finding out WHY she was complaining all night. Turned out it was a blood clot in her lung. And not only that but when they discharged her they never told me that she complained ALL NIGHT, literally for ten hours straight at a stretch.
I think I might try writing the rehab business office that mom's lawyer will be contacting them about the poor quality of care she received.
Please remember that it's mom's money that pays these bills, not yours.
Have you talked to an eldercare attorney yet? Good to hear from you!
I'm not even sure what some of those bills are for to be honest. I'm haggling with them right now as I thought she was covered. Again, payments are fine but they have to be realistic, she's on a fixed income and you can't get blood from a stone, as they say. There's a priority list and whatever's left after the necessities is where the bargaining begins.
Medicare is at times notoriously slow at paying, so my SIL, who handles my mom's money generally calls and says " we're waiting for Medicare to catch up". That goes for the hospital and ambulance .
The rehab is trickier. Didn't the rehab fail to realize she had a fractured spine, causing her NOT able to do PT? I would be inclined to play hardball with them. File a complaint with the ombudsman and the joint commission.
It gets stressful sometimes (especially during the winter months), right now she doesn't have the funds to pay for any kind of help so it's almost all on me. The grandaughters are still pretty much useless, in fact they haven't been by since Christmas Day. The bills keep coming too, right now I'm (still) going at it re: her last rehab bill which IMO was an outrage esp. considering the lousy care they provided.
Her doctor recommended melatonin to help her sleep and so far it seems to be helping. That's probably one of my biggest concerns, as when she doesn't sleep she gets positively goofy, asking strange questions and generally being confused all day.
Right now I'm navigating with the county re: respite care for a few days or so, as I really could use a break from the routine. It's a grind but I'm holding up pretty well thus far, but man, would a nice long weekend be a blessing right now.
I'm glad Melatonin is working for your mother; my understanding is that it's relatively safe, so said my sister who was a nurse. I used to take it occasionally and found there were no aftereffects, which was really nice.
I'd be interested in hearing more about your efforts with the county; I hadn't even thought of contacting ours for respite help, although I can't say that I really need it since I'm not a live-in caregiver. But I wouldn't mind help with some of the chores; the driving all around gets to me.
Whatever happened to that massive bill the rehab center dropped on you like a ton of bricks? Were you able to work out something more reasonable, and on a more reasonable time scale?