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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Thank you so much BurntCaregiver - I am so glad to hear there are others on the forum that don't fit into the elderly caregiver category. Being a 24/7 caregiver has been an eye opening experience. Thank you for the welcome and don't be surprised when you hear from me on a venting day.
Mhillwt, thanks for the suggestion and the kind thought. Its tricky right now. He signed up for a research trial, he can't have hospice care as long as he is accepting treatment for his cancer. They are only allowing him limited support drugs while he is participating in the trial. I did find out that my state has supportive palliative care, so far my phone calls haven't found a local hospice/palliative care business with a therapist. He would like to talk to a therapist who has EOL experience, he doesn't want to talk to a chaplain.
psychedelics are being used w success for EOL anxiety….perhaps speak w his Dr and see what can be done for your sons mental state during this incredibly difficult time ..I’m sorry you and your son are going thru this❤️
Hi, OncehatedDIL. It's good that you came back here. I am so sorry about your son. That is devastating and I hope you both of you find some peace. I don't think this site is entirely just for people who are caregivers to an elderly person. It sort of became a place for caregivers in general who are caring for an elderly person, or handicapped, or sick. I know what you mean about support groups not getting it. When someone has a life-threatening illness like cancer that becomes the only focus of the person's life and it shouldn't. The person with the cancer can also have other diseases like mental illness, addiction, diabetes that still need ongoing treatment and the people who care for them still need ongoing support. You can find that here. Please feel free to message me privately if you want to talk or even just to vent.
Thanks Barb, it was so good to see many familiar people are still here. And thanks for the thoughts, we are saddened to be losing our son, just breaks our hearts.
While reading through a lot of the posts and questions, I was struck by the same thought as yours. Some of these behaviors do indicate the possibility of mental illness. As was the situation with my family, we didn't realize our extreme family members were much more than unusual in their behaviors.
Once, I'm so glad to see you back. So sad to hear the news about your son!
I agree that there an awful lot of mental illness discussed on this site. Many folks don't realize that their loved ones are mentally ill until posting here about their behavior. They frame behavior as "selfish", "bad", "evil" when a variety of diagnoses might be just as apt.
This forum has always been rife with questions/discussions about mental illness/dementia/narcissism and everything in between; nobody shies away from the subject at all. There just has to be a QUESTION asked before a discussion can ensue!
Unless...... because this is the discussion area - they just hoped to start a discussion on mental illness? If so, its already been interesting, one response was that this forum was not for them.
Several years ago I was a regular on this forum when my inlaws moved into a SNF near my home. None of the rest of their family lived in the same state as my husband and myself and none of the rest of their family wanted anything to do with caring for them. Not an easy pair before FIL became a double leg amputee and suffered from anesthesia dementia, while MIL had schizophrenia which made dealing with her late stage vascular dementia a bit trickier. I have recently returned to the caregiving experience, this time as a 24/7 live in caregiver for my adult son who is dying of cancer.
He isn't aged, so I really don't belong here either. ;) Caregiving for my son who inherited the same mental illness his grandmother, keeps me on my toes. He needs me here 24/7 at this point. Sadly, when I initially tried to participate on a cancer forum any reference to his mental illness was met with crickets or my favorite "we don't have anyone with that sort of experience here on this forum". Yet, several of the people on that forum have contacted me privately through that forum's private message system. Turns out mentally ill people not only get old, they also can get cancer.
Lots of cancer patients at the EOL stage are having massive problems with anxiety. Their families are struggling to cope. Once we started talking about severe anxiety, more and more people came forward. If we don't freely talk about these subjects their families are left without the support.
I've been lurking. When I saw this topic "Mental Illness" posted, I thought "now that is something I can weigh in on".
What I learned about dementia from the people on this forum back in my before time, has been the key to success for dealing with my son, I am so grateful for the combined wisdom on this forum. . Schizophrenia was originally called "dementia praecox".
I have to beg to differ about the agingcare forum not being for people dealing with mental illness. Unless something has changed on this forum from years ago when I I last visited?
My MIL had mental illness. The mental illness made taking care of her as she declined a little more challenging. I wish I had known then what I know now.
There are a lot of people with brain disorders like bipolar and schizophrenia. Just like the rest of the population as they get older, they need more care.
There is such stigma attached to mental illness, people can be afraid to talk about it.
If you are looking for information on mental illness, the agingcare forum is likely not for you. This forum is about caring for elders, or about being an elder needing care. I honestly don't know where to direct you; perhaps start by speaking to your own doctor. I wish you the best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Mhillwt, thanks for the suggestion and the kind thought. Its tricky right now. He signed up for a research trial, he can't have hospice care as long as he is accepting treatment for his cancer. They are only allowing him limited support drugs while he is participating in the trial. I did find out that my state has supportive palliative care, so far my phone calls haven't found a local hospice/palliative care business with a therapist. He would like to talk to a therapist who has EOL experience, he doesn't want to talk to a chaplain.
I don't think this site is entirely just for people who are caregivers to an elderly person. It sort of became a place for caregivers in general who are caring for an elderly person, or handicapped, or sick.
I know what you mean about support groups not getting it. When someone has a life-threatening illness like cancer that becomes the only focus of the person's life and it shouldn't. The person with the cancer can also have other diseases like mental illness, addiction, diabetes that still need ongoing treatment and the people who care for them still need ongoing support. You can find that here.
Please feel free to message me privately if you want to talk or even just to vent.
While reading through a lot of the posts and questions, I was struck by the same thought as yours. Some of these behaviors do indicate the possibility of mental illness. As was the situation with my family, we didn't realize our extreme family members were much more than unusual in their behaviors.
I agree that there an awful lot of mental illness discussed on this site. Many folks don't realize that their loved ones are mentally ill until posting here about their behavior. They frame behavior as "selfish", "bad", "evil" when a variety of diagnoses might be just as apt.
Several years ago I was a regular on this forum when my inlaws moved into a SNF near my home. None of the rest of their family lived in the same state as my husband and myself and none of the rest of their family wanted anything to do with caring for them. Not an easy pair before FIL became a double leg amputee and suffered from anesthesia dementia, while MIL had schizophrenia which made dealing with her late stage vascular dementia a bit trickier. I have recently returned to the caregiving experience, this time as a 24/7 live in caregiver for my adult son who is dying of cancer.
He isn't aged, so I really don't belong here either. ;) Caregiving for my son who inherited the same mental illness his grandmother, keeps me on my toes. He needs me here 24/7 at this point. Sadly, when I initially tried to participate on a cancer forum any reference to his mental illness was met with crickets or my favorite "we don't have anyone with that sort of experience here on this forum". Yet, several of the people on that forum have contacted me privately through that forum's private message system. Turns out mentally ill people not only get old, they also can get cancer.
Lots of cancer patients at the EOL stage are having massive problems with anxiety. Their families are struggling to cope. Once we started talking about severe anxiety, more and more people came forward. If we don't freely talk about these subjects their families are left without the support.
I've been lurking. When I saw this topic "Mental Illness" posted, I thought "now that is something I can weigh in on".
What I learned about dementia from the people on this forum back in my before time, has been the key to success for dealing with my son, I am so grateful for the combined wisdom on this forum. . Schizophrenia was originally called "dementia praecox".
My MIL had mental illness. The mental illness made taking care of her as she declined a little more challenging. I wish I had known then what I know now.
There are a lot of people with brain disorders like bipolar and schizophrenia. Just like the rest of the population as they get older, they need more care.
There is such stigma attached to mental illness, people can be afraid to talk about it.