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It's the place, down the block, where Mom stayed for rehab. We saw it on the local news this morning, and now it's on TMZ! Mom will NOT be going back there EVER! LOL
It's a difficult question to answer, I think. It may have been "voted on" by a committee of residents, but we need to take into account those with cognitive disabilities. As a hospice Medical Social Worker, I spend a good portion of my time visiting patients in SNF's-most of which have Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia. Their altered reality can be very frightening for them.
Never been to a strip club myself - not the sort of entertainment I'd intentionally seek out, but if I was invited by a good friend or two, or even my daughter and DIL (because we share that kind of relationship) I think I'd go...why not?...especially if they were paying the cover price. Don't believe I'd go so far as to start stuffing dollar bills down some guy's underwear, but hey...get a few drinks in me and all bets could be off! I don't really see the harm in it as long as the residents of the NH in attendance were there by choice, and aware of the kind of entertainment they had come to see....and the entertainer (per se) had the respect, decency, and presence of mind to not go "full Monty". I can only hope that when I reach my 80's-90's (God willing) I still have as much spunk and joie de vie as the groom's grandma in Pam's story!
My MIL would pretend to be shocked and horrified. And the "victim" claims of "I was forced to do it" is the oldest playground excuse in the world. She's just embarrassed that her family saw it on youtube.
I'm 70 and think it sounds like fun. My MIL is 97 and would be horrified, shocked, and probably traumatized. Why not just put a post-it note on the doors of those who would enjoy it? I am more concerned about men with dementia who are allowed to wander the halls sexually attacking female residents.
Although it isn't entertainment that I would choose, this man was not nude. I am thinking that some of you did not read the article. Consider that the patients had probably been to this type of entertainment and enjoy it.
lol, pam. every young person in the world seems to think they invented sex. its just not true. older people may have reduced drive but im betting theyre not short in the " kink " department.. i still find strippers tacky and would be uninterested in one. a self respecting person turns me on. once at an al cooper concert an older , clearly professional man and wife walked by where i was sitting. the woman was a doll, bout 60 ish . somehow the grace and humility of her very posture was a thing of beauty. this gal was downplaying how freaking hot looking she was.. i like that..
My 95 yo mother is in a NH. I read the original article and the patients voted for this entertainment. No one was forced to go. People just stay in their room, if they don't want to go to the activity. Plus, all are free to leave, if it was offensive. Not all NH floors are full of people that can't make a decision.
My sister in law was taken to a male strip bar a few nights before her wedding, with the groom's mother and grandmother in attendance. I was so embarrassed, there was a lot of hootin n hollerin coming from the audience. I turned around to see who the loudest woman was. It was the groom's very old grandmother. "I'll show him a thing or two" she boasted.
actually id find strippers of either sex rather tacky. the old guy i mentioned earlier was just being a nut. he was in no way seriously interested in the younger nurse. a 90 yr old guy at ednas facility told us the other day that edna was a good looking old gal. they are both nearly deaf so im trying to imagine how loud their foreplay chatter would be. man, living inside my mind is a disturbing existance..
I have just found the picture of the old lady putting the money in the strippers unerpand. His pose is relaxed and apart from being in his underware is not taking a suggestive stance .She is leaning forward to place the money. Her body language tells me she is in no way fearfull or intimidated.If she was disgusted she would be cringing. Her family may have dollar signs on their minds but Medicaid will also be watching closely. Her testimony can hardly be believed if she has dementia. According to the article this kind of entertainment has been provided several times in the past. Boni you had better talk to Mom, a visit from the nuns may be in order. Hugs
I used to play music in that facility as my job is entertainment for the elderly at nursing homes and assisted living places. I know on Father's Day they have a belly dancer. As far as this goes I don't think they "forced" the lady to put the money down and actually she had a smile on her face. Seems her family has dollar signs on their mind 😳
LOL! I did see this last night. One resident said she was very distrubed by it and was forced to put $$ in the strippers undies. I guess I join the group of being a prude...if it was for a differnt setting it would be ok but a NH? Idk
They just covered this story on "the talk". Not ONCE was dementia mentioned, and they all thought it was "cute and funny". I'm really annoyed by this. This is the place we HAD planned on taking Mom, when it becomes necessary. A person with dementia can NOT consent to something they don't understand. I might need to write a letter to Julie Chen and educate her.
I think it depends on the patient. If a person was a religious person who did their best to be a good Christian, this would have compromised them in their minds - if they didn't have dementia. If a person has always been "naughty" and flirted a lot, made suggestive jokes most of their lives, this would be a great place to live.
Assandy, I guess I'm a prude, too. That poor woman - peer pressure even at that age! When my family starts talking crass sexual jokes, I usually get up and leave the room.
Ha! I sound like such a prude compared to everyone else here on AC!! I know my Mom well and at 91 she would not find a stripper fun... She'd be afraid the "Nuns" would come back to discipline her..LOL
HAAA!! I think THIS is a NH my mom would willingly run to. :/ She is the biggest flirt/suggestive old lady I've ever known. Every time she remembers she has Alzhemier's, she says... "I'd better have some d**n fun before I forget"!! Truth be told.... she's already forgot. She flirts with her son's, brother and h**l, strangers if she can! First time in my oldest brothers 59 years that he's blushed!! (mom suggested they "nap" together)". .... so yeah, my mom would love a place like that. Not long in the near future mom is going to start "daycare"... one of the things I've redirected with is... lots of fun men. (crossing my fingers that there is some)!
lol, i have a cyber friend in colorado whos father lived to a very old age. he was a nut. hed smack one particular nurse on the behind and shed present it for him. i dont think her behind was damaged in any way and furthermore she wasnt being promiscuous, she just loved to make the old fellow laugh. it was all in fun damnt. gosh, lighten up fundamentalist " phony christian " usa..
I would be totally appalled if the staff did it to mock the residents.
I can however recall my dad"s favvorite Birthday, about 70 or so, when mom hired him a belly dancer, his brothers in law, friends and neighbors who were mostly in their 80s really enjoyed the show. When the dancer left, mom asked dad, do you want the same thing for next year, he responded what are you trying to kill me?
If it made residents laugh or recall a good time, go for it! I do confess I LOL,
LOL..I did mean the comments on the article!! I know all us friends here on AC know what we're up against dealing with the inexperienced caregivers..It's sounds comical to the readers but would be frightening to a dementia patient and extremely embarrassing..
I need to say that when I first started out in nursing over 42+ years ago, I recall a patient I had at a V.A. hospital who had suffered a stroke. He never spoke all the time I worked there. I had him as a patient several times. Now the picture of me is a recent one so picture me 42+ years ago- I was caring for this man, talking to him all the time & he moved his hand up & grabbed my breast. I was so thrilled that this was the first time he had moved in months & he smiled after nothing but a flat affect (no expression). All I can speak of is my experience. I made sure I visited him from that day on when in the V.A. He eventually was discharged to home & did get into physical therapy also. A success because I did not freak out as he reached for my breast. What ever works.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't really see the harm in it as long as the residents of the NH in attendance were there by choice, and aware of the kind of entertainment they had come to see....and the entertainer (per se) had the respect, decency, and presence of mind to not go "full Monty". I can only hope that when I reach my 80's-90's (God willing) I still have as much spunk and joie de vie as the groom's grandma in Pam's story!
If you like this NH for other reasons, consider they are very unlikely to make this mistake again.
L
i still find strippers tacky and would be uninterested in one. a self respecting person turns me on. once at an al cooper concert an older , clearly professional man and wife walked by where i was sitting. the woman was a doll, bout 60 ish . somehow the grace and humility of her very posture was a thing of beauty. this gal was downplaying how freaking hot looking she was.. i like that..
a 90 yr old guy at ednas facility told us the other day that edna was a good looking old gal. they are both nearly deaf so im trying to imagine how loud their foreplay chatter would be. man, living inside my mind is a disturbing existance..
Boni you had better talk to Mom, a visit from the nuns may be in order. Hugs
A person with dementia can NOT consent to something they don't understand.
I might need to write a letter to Julie Chen and educate her.
Assandy, I guess I'm a prude, too. That poor woman - peer pressure even at that age! When my family starts talking crass sexual jokes, I usually get up and leave the room.
I can however recall my dad"s favvorite Birthday, about 70 or so, when mom hired him a belly dancer, his brothers in law, friends and neighbors who were mostly in their 80s really enjoyed the show. When the dancer left, mom asked dad, do you want the same thing for next year, he responded what are you trying to kill me?
If it made residents laugh or recall a good time, go for it! I do confess I LOL,
What was that NH thinking?
I was caring for this man, talking to him all the time & he moved his hand up & grabbed my breast. I was so thrilled that this was the first time he had moved in months & he smiled after nothing but a flat affect (no expression).
All I can speak of is my experience. I made sure I visited him from that day on when in the V.A. He eventually was discharged to home & did get into physical therapy also. A success because I did not freak out as he reached for my breast. What ever works.