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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Willie, it's easy to project your own thoughts about things. I did that when my Mom was in nursing care too. You look around and all you see is despair and a rundown old bldg. with half dead people sitting around staring into space. I used to stand in front of Mom's nursing home and take a deep, settling breath before I pressed the code to come in, trying to avoid eye contact with the other residents cause I felt so sorry for them all it made me just want to bawl. I never thought I'd see the day that my dear Mom would end up in a place like that. I used to wonder if my Mom was thinking "couldn't they have found a better place for me" but that was me thinking that. Mom never complained. She was winding down her life and if she had been at the ritz she still would have slept most of the day, so think of it that way if you can. Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on your Mom. Keep your chin up!
Cwillie, This is hard on you, I get that. Your words, decisions, the way you have figured this all out makes perfect sense.
I know you have eyes on your Mom's situation. I just want to be supportive. I trust your assessment, that your despair about the place is not felt as deeply by your Mom is true and accurate.
Keep talking this out to gain the acceptance you need. You have been Mom's hero for so long now. Getting a little help from friends here and your sister-it's time, it's ok.
See you over on the dinner thread...is there any more Italian on the menu?
Send, I plan to move mom to the NH in my town when a room is available, but that will be months from now. This is the place I was so disgusted with when she was there for respite, so I doubt there will be an improvement in her care, but it will be closer.
Hmm, I've rewritten this 5 times trying to get the words to come out right.... I think maybe my own despair about the place isn't felt as deeply by my mom, I've got to learn to step back and accept that it's OK.
Comfort food, more like a feast of junk food I stashed away in the freezer that was supposed to be out of sight, out of mind. Nanaimo bars and french fries, anyone?
Sis was here to help move mom in so she has been to the NH before. She thought mom seemed OK today. She also says she is willing herself to find the positive and ignore the negative, great idea if you can pull it off.
How old is the NH wing? I know I visited there as a child and it wasn't new then lol. One of my first thoughts was that this old building is a fire trap, but I also noticed there are sprinklers and automatic fire doors.
Won't that be a shocker for Sis, visiting the nursing home? Is this her first visit?
After retirement, there should be a law. One that says we will never have to wait in long lines again, especially at the elavator. oh wait! There are laws... Fire Code quick evacuation laws in case of fire. There is a fire escape? How old is this place?
Pouring rain all morning kept me inside grumbling. Sis came up to have lunch with mom so I didn't have to deal with that today. Mostly I'm wasting time on line. I've had years of practice doing absolutely nothing, I'm pretty good at it ;)
You're a sweetheart Send. I'm no hausfrau, I consider my house clean enough and won't be doing any major Spring cleaning. As for eating in mom's room, definitely No. Uh, uh. No way. Maybe when the weather warms up we can try snacks out on the patio.
Cwillie, Did you skip your spring cleaning because caregiving took precedent? How about ordering up some carpet cleaner company? Nothing too big to wear you out.
What about once or twice a week you tell the staff that Mom won't be at the table and you share lunch with her in her room? You bring your own, bring Mom's tray up to her room? Maybe there are rules?
I remember that conversation - early March, and I finally did mine that first week of March - now I'm ready to go back for another cut and a touch up of the color. It grows SO darn fast. Not sure if I should do the color now or wait, since I have travel coming up in June and would like it to look good then.
Yeah, now I remember! Early March, talking about getting our spring hairdos..... That is exactly why I cut my own hair, keeping it shoulder length even though shorter may be more comfortable.
Can you use some styling gel, maybe spike it? Videos online can help.
My condolences on your hair. Hoping it soon suits you better.
Remember me whining about the ultra short haircut, I think it was 2 months ago? It is just getting long enough to come past the tops of my ears, I could go back to tidy it up but I am afraid!!
Cwillie, When was the last time you had your hair done? That would be part of the respite activities, imo.
As a dishwater blonde, I am thinking of going natural with grey and whatever will be growing in, so I watched tons of youtube videos on how to grey, while still looking vibrant. Oh well, nothing wrong with staying blonde. But a friend went all gray natural, it looks great, she's only 60. Then, there are makeup videos for women over 60. I color and cut my own hair, except for the few rescue professional cuts per year. So, mostly I avoid the mirrors.
I know there is a time difference, but it seems to me you folks never sleep, there is always so much to read when I get up in the morning. I slept well last night, but the night before I got up and made myself a pb&j sandwich (screw the diet plan) and read until 4ish. No worries, I can sleep in now if I need to.
We get blue herons here in Vancouver Send and there are tons of eagles here too. There is one specific area near one of our suburbs here which is basically an eagle conservatory. They are always soaring overhead. Actually, I'll probably see them tomorrow cause I'm going near there to get the blue taken out of my hair tomorrow. I'm going back to purple..........just wasn't feeling the blue. Although, I do feel blue sometimes......just not blue hair. Oh, and we have a nude beach here. It's called Wreck beach. I've never been but I've heard the stories. :P
Oh, MsMadge, We're always up so late, how does one compute the middle of the night? Especially if one is up at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m.?
Those bad birds, there is an entire car to poop on! The crows drop it on the drivers side window where they know I'll see it! They do it on purpose, I'm sure!
There is no leaving the driveway until it's squirted off! (By hubs, of course!)
We get those squawky wild parrots - pretty but loud
Lately my car has been a target for bird poop - and while parked in the driveway - odd places too The tire - the drivers door It's like they're trying to irritate me - lol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
We're lifting you up in thought tonight
Your words, decisions, the way you have figured this all out makes perfect sense.
I know you have eyes on your Mom's situation. I just want to be supportive.
I trust your assessment, that your despair about the place is not felt as deeply by your Mom is true and accurate.
Keep talking this out to gain the acceptance you need.
You have been Mom's hero for so long now.
Getting a little help from friends here and your sister-it's time, it's ok.
See you over on the dinner thread...is there any more Italian on the menu?
Hmm, I've rewritten this 5 times trying to get the words to come out right.... I think maybe my own despair about the place isn't felt as deeply by my mom, I've got to learn to step back and accept that it's OK.
Will you be considering a change in the NH?
Are there any better choices-I guess if there were, you would do that.
Thinking of you.....
I suspect your sister has already detached from worrying about mom ?
Milk shakes and French fries are a good combo
PB &J sandwich with french fries. What time is dinner? Got milk?
Sis was here to help move mom in so she has been to the NH before. She thought mom seemed OK today. She also says she is willing herself to find the positive and ignore the negative, great idea if you can pull it off.
How old is the NH wing? I know I visited there as a child and it wasn't new then lol. One of my first thoughts was that this old building is a fire trap, but I also noticed there are sprinklers and automatic fire doors.
After retirement, there should be a law. One that says we will never have to wait in long lines again, especially at the elavator. oh wait! There are laws...
Fire Code quick evacuation laws in case of fire. There is a fire escape? How old is this place?
As for eating in mom's room, definitely No. Uh, uh. No way. Maybe when the weather warms up we can try snacks out on the patio.
Did you skip your spring cleaning because caregiving took precedent?
How about ordering up some carpet cleaner company? Nothing too big to wear you out.
What about once or twice a week you tell the staff that Mom won't be at the table and you share lunch with her in her room? You bring your own, bring Mom's tray up to her room? Maybe there are rules?
.
That is exactly why I cut my own hair, keeping it shoulder length even though shorter may be more comfortable.
Can you use some styling gel, maybe spike it? Videos online can help.
My condolences on your hair. Hoping it soon suits you better.
As a dishwater blonde, I am thinking of going natural with grey and whatever will be growing in, so I watched tons of youtube videos on how to grey, while still looking vibrant. Oh well, nothing wrong with staying blonde. But a friend went all gray natural, it looks great, she's only 60.
Then, there are makeup videos for women over 60.
I color and cut my own hair, except for the few rescue professional cuts per year. So, mostly I avoid the mirrors.
It's true then, about you. You go where eagles fly.
Those bad birds, there is an entire car to poop on! The crows drop it on the drivers side window where they know I'll see it! They do it on purpose, I'm sure!
There is no leaving the driveway until it's squirted off! (By hubs, of course!)
Or you get up and raid the fridge, find the chocolate.
What if you're lonely in the middle of the night?
Lately my car has been a target for bird poop - and while parked in the driveway - odd places too
The tire - the drivers door
It's like they're trying to irritate me - lol