Mom is back in the hospital. I talked to her for awhile. She is still in the ER with the same symptoms. I told her that I have to go to work tonight because we are really busy. She said that’s ok. I left a message for her primary doctor to call me back.
That is a great idea. Many assisted living facilities are wonderful. If you aren’t satisfied with that one, keep looking. You will find one that is suitable.
I think it is best not to tell her. Keep it between you and your brother.
On a much smaller scale, I've been there. Dad calls ambulance, then wants picking up from hospital. I too have found that hospitals/social will criticise and ASSUME they can come home with you. Nope no way.
Also, I've been the same, spoken to his GP, spoken to hospital about his "fake emeergency calls" etc. No-ones interested. Basically, he can do what he sees fit unless hes declared incompetent.
Someone mentioned reading side effects. WOW every time! He reads the leaflet 10 times then phones me, asks me if I should take, then he phones and bothers the doctor too. Convinced hes going to have the "coma" that 1 person in the world had ever taking this drug....
Im in the UK. No charge for ambulances, hospitals, doctors or anything. I sometimes wish there was. Dad is the cheapest, tightest person you could ever meet. If it cost £10 to call an ambulance he'd rather drop dead. Sometimes I wish there was a charge so he wouldnt do it.
It sucks the life out of you, yeh, Elaine....
elaine - your mother's needs are beyond your ability to help. She's beyond (your) help, so you should not feel guilty for not being able to fix what you can't fix. You can only help her if and when she wants to help herself. Until then, you can't. It is sad and difficult to watch, but it's not your fault.
YOUR MOTHER (the competent one, remember) promised her doc NOT to call 911, but to call the doc.
If your mother can't follow this instruction, it may be clearer to the folks at APS that she is no longer "fine" at home.
Doc is a smart cookie!
Back off. The only way mom is going to get the care she needs is if YOU stay away.
I am so sorry. Do go see a therapist as you plan. It definitely helps. I go. A therapist can help us see what we need to see through objective eyes.
I know you feel like crap. None of this is your fault. You know that. You have done everything humanly possible to help your mom. Hang tight.
Sending you a bazillion hugs 💗.
When you are asleep, your husband must tell anyone who calls that he will be handling all questions and requests as you are doing shift work and are sleeping.
There is no reason that the doc's questions couldn't have been answered by him.
Start putting YOUR health in first place.
I haven't done guardianship, but it can get expensive plus there are many hoops and hurdles to navigate after being appointed (reporting to the courts, etc.) So far I only have to report at year end to SS (fed pension can ask, but so far they have not), and wouldn't you know, they sent a letter questioning what I reported her pittance was used for! All SS and All the pension funds go to the cost of the facility, and these total less than half the cost)! Oh my, most people have other needs, vacations, shopping... Sure they do, but this is a 96 yo woman with dementia, almost no hearing, macular degeneration, she no longer walks on her own and has very few "needs" beyond what the facility covers! It's not like she's going to be going to Hawaii or Taiwan! That little SS wouldn't even cover rental for an appt!!!
Anyway, do take care of yourself, write your mom's number down for hubby, and wait for the "powers that be" to make the decision... Not much else you can do at this point.