People don't realize what it involves with taking care of an elderly parent. It's life changing......it's almost like a curse.......it's terrible. I have no time for myself......had to quit my job......have siblings that won't help.........my mother is in terrible condition......eyes, heart and arthritis. She is always constipated and wants milk of mag all the time. I feel like I'm trapped......no time to do anything myself. When a parent gets old....it's terrible......life is terrible.
...IF I FIND 1 thing go wrong, against our wishes etc..like her coffee before meal, just one..they will rue the day they (explitatibe) met me...I WILL GAURANTEE THAT....THEY ARE GOING TO FEEL THIS HATE ANGER AND DISGUST!
good DAY YOU ALL...I JUST CANT DO THIS ANYMORE HERE....
I TRULY LOVE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!
I was so exhausted from my ordeal mentally and physically I believe I was sleep typing half that stuff....what a crazy sensation...but as I sed this site has literally saved my life so I cling to my computer like a security blanket and I do remember nodding out while typing stuff...
talk about crazy....that is some crrraaazzzzyyyy stresss!
k I am now officially going underground on this thread! I just cant do it...I am in the wrong battle her
stay strong!
based on lawyers not able to make enough to take our case because moms punative damages would not be worth their time, if we had 58k, to pay off mortage I can guarantee a roof over my head when this is over, which is all I want and most certainly deserve for 9+ years of service....it woulda been gone in1-2 ys in the NH and I did prob 10 ys hard time it should be mine! So I am going to find the strength to fite for us somewhere somehow if I can any portion of that I will from whoever I can. And I thought I saw somewhere the VA bene may be retroactive I read somewhere..i just cant remember where I saw it. Does anyone know. I can find out bout that when she comes out. I knw they are trying to promote the benefit usage and we should have got it from the time I called to inquire what is available to ma, and burial etc we got a plot n a check maybe and sent on our way, she coulda been getting it 7 more years that is 49K...I just have no time she is a china doll and is not eating well any more I am terrified I will not pull outta the abyss in time to save myself
so anyone any idea's???
Hows that for the power of positive thought...is it a pipe dream, please stop me if it is, lol!!!!
I don't see I did anything wrong but will the law???? that scares me!!!!
Anyway got for hours sleep last nite thank goodness, first 3 calls...Fiduciary for VA, patient advocate at hospital and home health to see about new health concerns from last Thursday nitemare...
we are moving forward!
i am sooooo fried tho...i need rest now! and more ideas....but i unloaded on fiduciary and she sed she will help us with stuff, not sure what but help is help for now!
Back to bed for a while....
THANK YOU EVERYONE...I FELT LIKE I WAS ON A TRAIN JUST COMPLETELY OUTTA CONTROL AND JUST ABOUT ONE MONTH LATER THINGS COULD ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FOR US
LOVE
juju
LOTS OF LOVE LIGHT AND HOPE TO EVERYONE AT EVERY STAGE OF THIS CRUEL CRUEL BATTLE WE SILENTLY SUFFER, I TRULY HOPE YOU FIND THE SOLUTION THAT WORKS FOR YOU, JUST DO WHAT U GOTTA DO TO MAKE IT THRU!!!
LOVE
juju
And gave sr services a swift kick and t"she just had a few new things pop up" i might get respite care! Mite...she mailing packet
And i opened a can of whoopass on the hospital today....
they are who will feel my anger now...
i know i have a case i am sure, i just need strentght to do it!
and since i have no family to speak of...i called out a few friends who "always promise help and don't" to help me with ma yesterday cuz i was barely able to care for her since sat hospital....and we laffed, flipperz!
weeeeeeeee getting help....all this happening since mom got hurt and i flipped out is truly a statement to the power of positive thinking a month ago i was thinkin dark thoughts in the cocoon...now i feel empowered. that was like an epiphany or something....idk it is a miracle!! a true miracle!! now to deal with the reality of our latest blow...the mangled spine and cysts in shoulder...bonescan...the Cword was used i don't have much time to get this train back on track. I really thought i had a while till she fell 4 months ago
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON IS ALL I CAN FIGURE...I HOPE I SURVIVE THIS WITH A ROOF OVER MY HEAD AND MOM'S DIGNITY IN TACK....JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!!
How can I figure out how to request files and they don't have a clue...and the PATIENT ADVOCATE CANT' I am down not dumb..she is stalling .they have made the last mistake with me.
So for the love of MY MOTHER get help so you are not making my mistakes please folks!!!!
WHEN IT COULD HAVE BEEN 6 YS OF WHAT WE ARE HAVING NOW!!!
AND THAT IS TIME I WILL NOT GET BACK!!!
THAT'S WHEN I WILL HAVE MY WORST NEXT CHALLENGE..
IVE DONE THIS BEFORE TAKEN A PARENT TO THE OTHER SIDE.
LEAST I GET TO PREPARE, LAST TIME IT WAS TRAMATIC!
I FREAKING KID YOU NOT....POWER OF PRAYER AND POSITIVITY!
I am getting up, getting dressed and coming to the party!
ONE THING I AM POSITIVE OF ..YOU CANNOT FORCE ACCEPTANCE..YOU HAVE TO HIT ABSOLUT ROCK BOTTOM OR YOUR OWN TERMS..YOU CANT FORCE IT, SO JUST WORK ON IT...
TAKE BABY STEPS!!
Lots of love n light to you all.....Juju
Compassion Fatigue symptoms are normal displays of stress resulting from the care giving work you perform on a regular basis. While the symptoms are often disruptive, depressive, and irritating, an awareness of the symptoms and their negative effect on your life can lead to positive change, personal transformation, and a new resiliency. Reaching a point where you have control over your own life choices will take time and hard work. There is no magic involved. There is only a commitment to make your life the best it can be.
Normal symptoms present in an individual include:
• Excessive blaming
• Bottled up emotions
• Isolation from others
• Receives unusual amount of complaints from others
• Voices excessive complaints about administrative functions
• Substance abuse used to mask feelings
• Compulsive behaviors such as overspending, overeating, gambling, sexual addictions
• Poor self-care (i.e., hygiene, appearance)
• Legal problems, indebtedness
• Reoccurrence of nightmares and flashbacks to traumatic event
• Chronic physical ailments such as gastrointestinal problems and recurrent colds
• Apathy, sad, no longer finds activities pleasurable
• Difficulty concentrating
• Mentally and physically tired
• Preoccupied
• In denial about problems
When Compassion Fatigue hits critical mass in the workplace, the organization itself suffers. Chronic absenteeism, spiraling Worker's Comp costs, high turnover rates, friction between employees, and friction between staff and management are among organizational symptoms that surface, creating additional stress on workers.
Healing an organization takes time, patience, and most important, commitment. An awareness of Compassion Fatigue and its far reaching effects must be present at the highest level of management and work its way down to encompass line staff, as well as volunteers. Often, the mistrust that employees feel towards management is not unfounded. Since many care giving institutions are non-profit, they inherit additional challenges such as low wages, lack of space, high management turnover rate, and constantly shifting priorities.
Organizational symptoms of Compassion Fatigue inlcude:
• High absenteeism
• Constant changes in co-workers relationships
• Inability for teams to work well together
• Desire among staff members to break company rules
• Outbreaks of aggressive behaviors among staff
• Inability of staff to complete assignments and tasks
• Inability of staff to respect and meet deadlines
• Lack of flexibility among staff members
• Negativism towards management
• Strong reluctance toward change
• Inability of staff to believe improvement is possible
• Lack of a vision for the future