I have not posted in a while except recently because I needed a break. But I've read... Those of you who don't want to take responsibility for your parents, who on earth do you think will do it? Life is hard. It is not about a bunch of FB, Twitter, Instagram likes, shares or retweets. There is hard sh*t you have to do in life. There is. It's messy, it's hard, it's unpleasant. And it is not on your timeline. Life is not choreographed for your feed. Grow up.
One more point: many folks come here while trying to get help caring for their mentally ill, destructive parents while trying to raise their own children. A parent's FIRST duty is to their minor child and to their spouse. Elderly parents are a distant third.
Parents have had a lifetime to prepare, financially and otherwise for their old age. Their lack of planning is NOT my emergency. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with parents who planned and have done so myself.
I think you need to get your thoughts in order before you post.
And during this time, since you have assigned guardianship, you have no say and no see,because they are in charge of everything.
If you are thinking about this, please research. Go to your state court web site and check what have they been sued for?
Yes, I could have phrased my original vent better. But we are are seeing more if this and is very sad.
In nationwide conversations, there seems to be a huge trend towards how can I get out of this responsibility. If that's not you, then ignore it.some parents are jerks yes. Are they mentally ill? Are they narcissists? Are you sure? It is disease or your perception? We are reaching a tipping point is society where the numbers overwhelm the care options. And it is something to consider. If you, generally you, can do it, arrange it.
There are many posts here anymore which main point is how to get out of. And not just here. In several forums. And in several conversations. Medicaid expansion in many states these days goes more to support for home care. My concern is this will lead to a big rush to reinforce filial responsibility laws. And I can see that happening. There is a legislative exchange Council for states which tries to every year. And they are getting more support annually. Be careful what you wish for.
Clearly, you are misdirecting the sadness and anger you feel with your own situation - towards the very people who were here for you. That’s sad.
Perhaps seeking out a professional therapist - one who specializes in grief, would help you more than lashing out here.
And as Barb points out - sometimes caregiving just goes on and on and can consume our lives far longer than we ever dreamed possible. (I have to admit to feeling a twinge of jealously when people come on all atwitter about a crisis and then their care recipient dies within months or a couple of years, too many of us are caring far too long for people who just live on and on)
If I recall correctly, you had a difficult situation, but your mother "merely" had dementia and you were able to get her into a professional care situation without her destroying your life.
Had you spent 10 years caring for her at her home, spent all of your retirement savings on her care (or never been allowed to have a proper job, or a marriage or family) I think you might understand the desire to walk away better.
Glad you are well.