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He is taking advantage of you! He probably thinks he can do that because he knows you can't/won't leave because of finances. He is in control of you. This is sounding a lot like what is usually part of an abusive relationship. He has money but won't spend it on anything other than his toys. He doesn't want you "going out with friends". Your family doesn't come over, which is probably fine with him. You don't know the neighbors and have no time to socialize or make new friends. I'm sure he's pleased that you're being kept too busy to get away.

He doesn't want to be bothered to care for his mother, yet it's okay with him if you're bothered with it. Don't you see how he's controlling you? As long as you're too busy with helping his mother, you can't make your own money with your job (and leave), helping yourself. As long as you are dependent on him, he has you under his thumb, as the maid/caregiver. He does't want you to leave...who would cheaply care for his mother? Yet, he doesn't treat you as his wife...there are various signs of that.

You deserve more respect, appreciation, attention and love from him. Sounds like he has done a good job of tearing down your self respect and confidence. Get out now...before he completely destroys you. Perhaps you could stay in a shelter or with a friend, and get back to making your own money with your job. There are probably other programs or avenues you could pursue too. This will only get worse. You know what they say...why buy the cow when the milk is free. .
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Ohio. I just read your message over again about hubby's trust issues. Maybe the trust issues came before his first wife's infidelity. She may have been more self preserving and got out before he did to her what he's doing to you. I may be out of line, if I am I apologize but it's important that whatever the reason, you can't let his bad behavior hurt you. And you can't expect him to love you more than you love yourself.
You can be compassionate from a safe distance. You have to decide what to do if he doesn't respond to reason. Please make sure you are safe, you can't help your MIL if you are out of commission because this is too much.
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Ohio, Your husband says if you leave for a while then you can't come back. YES YOU CAN !!! It is your home too! Legally he isn't allowed to keep you out of your own home. Also he says you can't leave because he won't pay for someone to be with his Mom. I thought he doesn't think anyone needs to be with his Mom. You can see from all of our concern that WE ALL agree, he's the one with the problem or problems, Not you.......
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Ohio: Did you sign a prenup when you married your husband? I'm just curious if you are afraid you would end up with nothing. I have no doubt that you want your marriage to work because you love your husband, but you seem to live such separate lives financially that I wonder if he guarded his assets when you married. Also, wouldn't your credit being damaged, cause damage to his credit rating too? Or is everything clearly in your name separately and his name separately. How do you hold title to your house?

I would suggest you get away from your home for a few days. Take the dog with you. Go visit your children. It doesn't matter that you have bills to pay. A few days away is not going to make a difference. You don't need to go to a spa and get pampered. You need to connect with people that love you. Yes, probably things will get damaged while you are gone. There will be messes for sure. Let your husband come home to it. Let him deal with it.

We haven't heard from you lately. Your counseling appointment is tomorrow, if I remember correctly. I wish you luck with that. Your counselor told you, essentially, that he wanted to remain impartial. I'll put my two cents in about that. Your therapist is now put in the position of marriage counseling. He is not acting as your advocate. If he were to do so, your husband would probably walk out of the room. So he is walking a fine line in order to not alienate either party. He wants you to hear each other and work out your problems. He will be listening to everything that is said, but he may not tell you what he thinks. See how it goes and let's see if your husband is willing to go back. It's a process, Ohio, and it takes time. Sometimes it's better to have your own therapist and a separate marriage counselor. You need honest feedback regarding your own feelings and sometimes that can be compromised in joint counseling. I'm not saying joint counseling isn't helpful, but both parties have to want a good outcome.

I miss hearing from you. Please let us know how you are doing. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
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cattails, I am at the point I don't know who I am anymore or what my future is going to hold. So disappointed in all the hard work I did today, trying to find a way to have some in-home help. Long story. Then my husband DID NOT go to my counselor with me today. Then his sister shows up at my home, because my MIL called her - about being in such duress here at our house. Everything I tried to do, back fired. Tomorrow is a new day. My weekend was full of my MIL's antics - I don't know why she got into "attack mode", creating havoc with her words. Another long story.
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ravensdottir, thanks for your thoughts. I made so many calls today, seeking in-home care and trying to find out if my MIL qualifies for any assistance to cover the costs. I did call aging services, who emailed a list of area companies that provide in-home care, but it is looking like MIL has too much money in bank to qualify for assistance. I have submitted her medicare A & B plus her blue cross card info - waiting to hear back.
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waddle1, thanks for the words of wisdom. I guess I am allowing my husband to hold power over me because I feel worn down & not sure which way to go first. My weekend was one of the worst in a long time. My MIL was in attack mode, which ended up in me slamming the door & going out to steps crying. Then my husband sends a text to his sister, telling her that I quit. So it's either time to line up a nursing home or come and get her. His sister texts back, she will get back in touch with him later, she is still in Gettysburg on vacation, with her motorcycle pack. (breast cancer). I made my husband take over her care for the rest of the day, telling him that I need a break, I can't continue listening to the insults and accusations being thrown at me - I'm too tired. Well, his care didn't go too well either. Long story.
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vstefans, I appreciate all your comments & advice shared. I'm just so tired to write much today & never had time to log on all weekend, due to MIL issues that totally robbed my time and I had to step away for awhile to regroup my "sanity".
You are right, no matter how hard I try not to think it so, I am just a loser. Married to someone who doesn't appreciate me, where I have allowed myself to sink in so many ways. I guess my blinders are on and with all of this going on around me, it's so hard to look in the mirror - because I don't recognize the person looking back at me.
Yes, it is possible for my MIL to physically hurt me, but most of the time I am not within arms reach, especially if she is angry. She's a feeble little 90 yr old, but when her anger kicks in, she is fiesty and throws things. With her mobility issues, I can easily get out of her reach. Like I said earlier, I have 2 rooms I can run to and lock the door, OR I can leave the home by going in to garage, back sunroom or yard.
Yes, I am sure my doctor would write something - but it would not mean anything to my husband at this point. I could be wrong. Guess right now I am so disappointed in my day today. Nothing went right.
You are so correct, I can't get back the time, days, months I have wasted. But I really thought I was doing the right thing. But no matter what I do to be nice & helpful to her (MIL), she let's me know quickly that I am NOT liked by her. Then she tells my husband that I don't like her and I want don't her there. (playing games). Well, there IS some truth to that, when I have taken a day of her nastiness, no, I don't want her here. But faith and teachings tell me to be compassionate for those that can't take care of themselves.
Yes, we had my MIL evaluated by 2 different geriatric doctors who feel she has issues. BUT felt she still had "reasoning skills" at times & could still answer questions in many areas. Both agree that she can not live alone but did not say she could not "be" alone, needing constant attention like I feel she needs. My husband is "cold" when it comes to this - saying, if she falls, she falls. That's life. It's going to happen, she is gonna fall and break. We just don't know when. He tells me that he appreciates all I am doing for her, but it's "not all necessary". He won't sit and talk to her when he comes home. No time for that, he says. And this makes her sad. What would it hurt for him to come home, say Hi Mom, How was your day. How are you feeling. Just show her some attention instead of her feeling like an outsider with a son that doesn't have time for her. He stays busy, but that is how I am treated too. (But that wasn't how it used to be).
Ok, now I feel a need to explain...my words may not make a lot of sense, because I feel so down...
How I start my day:
5:30am Get up. Make my husband breakfast, make and pack him a lunch. Make sure he takes his pills. Get dogs outside (we have 2yr old dobermans, male & female litter mates). Now, he WON'T put up a fence for them, so I have to put them on a leash and take them outside to "do their business", doesn't matter if it is raining, snowing, cold or hot - I take them out.
Husband leaves around 6am for work. I do up dishes, throw a load of laundry in machine, go back to bed.
Up at 7:30 or 8, turn on computer, ck emails from clients/customers - go over my "to do" list for real estate (my career). Eat breakfast. Put clothes in dryer. Take dogs out again.
By 10am, MIL is finally getting up. While she enters bathroom, I go into bedroom checking for wet sheets, gather up clothing, look for "hidden urinary pads" (she doesn't have that problem & will hide them at times), make her coffee & prepare breakfast, lay out medicene. Take photo. (My proof I made it).
Every other day, I try around 11 to 12noon, to get her into shower, where I have to assist her getting in and out, washing her back, helping her get dry.
From 12:30 til 1:30, MIL watches Young & Restless. I get my lunch, then start preparing hers & make real estate calls.
2pm, time to serve lunch to MIL, then dishes afterwards, figure out if I need to start oven or whatever preparation needed for dinner.
3pm, MIL has 2 other programs on tv she watches which gives me 2 free hours of working in real estate again. My husband gets off work at 2:30 but does not come right home. Depends on IF I tell him I MUST leave for appointments, so Please Come Home.
During this time, I bring coffee & snack to MIL, talk to her a little.
Dinner is around 5:30 or 6pm. I put on table, get MIL to table, yell for husband to come to table - but half the time, he doesn't even eat with us, he lets it sit to "eat whenever". This hurts my feeling, but he started doing this to me even before MIL came to live with us.
After dinner, MIL likes to sit in living room, wanting to know what my husband is doing, where some nights he is cutting yard, (MIL watches out window), or he is out working on his cars (where she tries to watch, but can't see), or he is in the living room on the computer (where she will sit in recliner trying to talk to him or just sits and watches his back where he totally ignores her) But he did this even before MIL came, which hurt my feelings.
MIL wants Ice Cream or snacks aournd 8-8:30pm. I make sure all dinner & evening dishes done. (We live in $300,000 home with NO dishwasher, husband bought home this way, beautiful kitchen & cabinets, but no dishwasher, doesn't matter that I really want one & it could be installed easily, oh well).
MIL in bed by 10pm. Husband goes to bed when he feels like it. No set bedtime, and does not matter if I go to bed or not. Sound like a loving couple??? It hurts.

So this is my life. I lose most of my day to taking care of her so it's HARD to work full time in my real estate career, so my income is about a 1/4 of what I normally would earn.
Oh, did I mention I have to take those dogs out a few more times? He will take them out maybe a couple times in the evening - and they are HIS dogs. I asked for him to put at least one of them in my name, since they have AKC papers, but they are thrown to the side and are HIS dogs. Yes, I am their primary caretaker too. I love animals, and more a cat person, but he does not and will not ever allow me to have a cat. I would not have one anyway with these dogs. Not safe.
I never have stacks of dirty clothes, due to my morning routines. Never have dirty dishes around because I wash them usually right after a meal. I keep a clean house juggling house work around real estate appts and his mom.
So there, that's my life.
We used to go out on friday nights, dinner & movie, or do something. That doesn't happen very often anymore. Nights out with my husband is far and few since MIL came here. That makes me sad. We can only go out IF his daughter is ok with being here. (she lives with us, full time college student & works as pharmacy tech part time).
Looks like I have written a book even after I said I was too tired to write.
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Stp, Yes, there are many wise and knowing people here. I have read, re-read then re-read again, trying to digest all that is being said. My husband is not physically abusive, not at all. But he doesn't "fight fair" - our arguements are not nice. He can be SO funny & nice, loving while other nights - I don't exist & I don't understand. I know he is busy so I will dive into reading or studying, or doing whatever to stay busy. I am not into watching television - although I used to have a couple favorite shows. I love movies, but it's been a couple years since I rented any to watch. My husband only has basic cable for us - so not a lot to watch anyway. Before this marriage, my boys were my life, but they grew up on me, married with families of their own. They are disappointed that I don't see them very often, but we talk on the phone, text and share photos. My oldest son lives the closest - about 3 miles from me, while the other 2 sons are 3 hours from me. My now husband has 2 daughters, one living with us, the other with a boyfriend and young baby. They have stayed away after MIL fell, while I was watching the baby, where baby was injured playing with MIL (bringing toys back and forth, having a great time when the accident happened). I miss her, but I understand.
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mrsribit, My husband seems to have trust issues over losing those he loved. He lost his father when only 12 yrs old. His mom has been both mom and dad to him. After losing his father, the only job his mom could get, was 2nd shift at GM to earn a good living. His mother did NOT work from the time he was born until his dad passed away. So think about it, (I have thought much about this), his dad dies, a mother who was always there, now works nights, so he comes home from school to be alone with his sister. No mom. His life totally changed. Then his mother re-married during his late teens, to someone that drank and was abusive. The marriage didn't last long, so that part was good. Then his sister (who is 2 yrs younger) marries and leaves. He doesn't get married until almost 30 & really did not want children but it happened. Divorces after wife leaves over a man she worked with after 16 or 18 yrs of marriage. It almost destroyed him, he loved her very much. So that is where most of his trust issues are. I have not and will not cheat on him, because I have declared if I ever end up divorced again - I will just be alone, no one will ever break my heart again.
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Thanks for the advice, Zoey. I just need a "mind adjustment" and it won't happen overnight. Counselor gave me some suggestions. I'll have to sleep on it tonight.
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cattails, no, I did not sign any prenup. He had a home that needs updating and repairs, very cluttered (like a hoarder) but I thought it was because of his divorce and a wife that didnt clean house. He had a junk car. I had nice furniture, new customized van, money, 401k, with upcoming pension. Just a couple small charge card bills. My boys were on their own, all graduated from high school with college. My boys did not have student loans, I made sure all was paid so they were not burdened with debt, so they had a good start in life.
So I was not carrying "baggage" into the marriage - I was solid. He, on the other hand, had to pay an ex-wife to pay off, pay child support, and had a high house payment in my opinion, with a home that needed work, and charge cards with high limits and pretty high amounts on them. But it didn't matter- he had a good job & I knew I could make good money.
No, his credit is fine. I would never do anything to hurt his finances. I have 3 charge cards that I use to finance real estate expenses and 1 for personal use. I normally paid them off every month, until real estate & economy gave me a set back, then I started carrying monthly amounts. I never had a late payment until I started caring for his mom, when I could not handle appts. Then I started getting sick with migraines, scratching my eyes, and other health issues - so that hurt. He paid off our 2nd mortgage (my name was on that) so now I don't have that bill against me, but now I don't have that giving me good monthly ratings either. I am not on the house payment, since he bought the home in 95 and we were married in 03, but he did have the deed re-done where we own it together, joint survivorship. We also have 2 timeshares, owned jointly, paid for. Several cars - no car payments. Other assets. We have 4 joint charge cards - they are fine. It is the ones that are 100% mine that I have had for YEARS, that has been damaged. So they has destroyed my credit, but I can re-build quickly, takes a year of no late pays and get balances down to 30% of limit. By 3 years I should be back golden IF I CAN WORK. I just have never been upside down before and prided myself in good credit and stability. I was dumb to let this happen. I guess I am in shock that I am in this position - where I feel helpless and strapped and most of all scared. I dont want people and family to know my problems. I mean, they know I am taking care of my MIL, but they have no idea that I have money issues.
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Good grief. Honey, yes your husband is in denial. I'm sorry but I just read all the advice given and all here have given great advice. But I have to say it. You are more in denial than your husband. He has you right where he wants you. Under his thumb. Your broke, your miserable, and yet you talk about his good qualities. He will never hire you help with the mil. Those are just my thoughts. I realize you must love the man, because it can't be the 100,000.00+ a year. Because he sure as hell dosen't help you out with your bills. you have a non existent sex life. Im sorry, I just don't get it. What is there to stay for? And to not see your own children because it upsets him? Good lord, throw that man to the curb and get on with your life. And I have a question. And feel free to tell me none of your freaking business. Did you have a very active sex life and then it stopped suddenly? Because I've gained weight in the last two years. A lot!!! But my husband still wants me. And do you know why? Because he loves me. I think that alone justifies a red flag waving. Staying out late? I'm sorry. It's so upsetting to read your words. My heart is breaking for you. You deserve to be loved! And leaving will not be the end to your mil. The man will have to see she's cared for. But why should it bother him now? He has his own personal lackey. I wish the very best for you, and look forward to you hopefully reclaiming your life. It's the most outstanding feeling in the world. Much love to you, lisa
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Ohio: First and foremost...top of the heap...don't ever think about it again: YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!! That's pity talk so don't ever say it again. If you hear you saying it to yourself...STOP RIGHT THERE and remember that you have supported yourself, put your children through college and came into a marriage SOLID as you say.

Now look back on what I just said. You have supported yourself, put your children through college, had no debt to speak of. You paid your way all the way. You are an extremely responsible person. Given your sense of responsibility and your compassion for others, it's no surprise that you cannot abide by the way your husband views his mom's needs. You also appreciate how much his mom wants his time and affection. You are not threatened by her need, on the contrary, you want him to fill that need. How can someone like you who feels another person's pain be a loser. Not possible. Not possible.

Maybe you should write down some key phrases that made sense to you in the posts you have received. Find the ones that reinforce your sense of self. I have great respect for your goodness and caring. You are not a loser. You may be on the losing end of this situation, but you are not a loser. There's a big difference.

What I want you to feel from my post to you tonight is that you are an extremely good person. I love you. You are a true gift to your children and all who are open to receiving your love.

Cattails.
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OhioGal, let me be blunt. Why do you put up with this? Why are you allowing yourself to be exploited, verbally abused, underappreciated, and financially ruined? Why are you living with a man who so clearly does not respect you?

You have job skills. You can support yourself. Maybe not in the style you were living on two incomes before you mil was foisted off on you, but you can support yourself. Maybe it will take some years to re-establish your credit and your income level. But you can do it.

It seems to me, dear lady, that your house is in Egypt and Denial runs through it.

Your MIL can afford to pay for the care she needs. WHY ARE YOU EXPECTED TO GIVE UP YOUR ABILITY TO EARN INCOME FOR HER SAKE? She is not a charity case. And if she were, the financial burden should be her son's, or at most yours jointly. If you can't see that this is one of the fundamental questions to be answered here, you are Cleopatra herself, Queen of Denial.

Time after time it has been made abundantly clear that mil cannot safely be left alone. WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS? Well, why should anyone else admit it, as long as you continue in the unpaid servant (aka "slave") role? Isn't it advantageous for husband to be able to deny that your income is suffering because you have to stay home? Isn't it to his advange to "deny" that your loss of income is anybody's fault but your own?

You can't leave because if you do he won't let you back? And this is a bad thing because ... ?? If you leave you will be expected to pay for your replacement in caregiving MIL?? WHAT? You are joking that you believe this, right? Please tell us that you do not seriously think there is some way your husband can make you pay for a caregiver for his mother even if you leave him. That is just too much.

His daughter has declared that she isn't taking care of Grandma. Good for her! Of course that is not her responsibility. You seem to resent her because she understands the dynamics of the household better than you do. Take a cue or two from her.

You are right, Ohiogirl, "I was dumb to let this happen." But not about the credit cards, and not about gaining weight. About letting yourself be maneuvered into a demeaning situation where you are ashamed to let your family know your real situation. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS.

First, see a lawyer, to protect your interests in the assets owned jointely.

Then see a counselor, to help you find the courage that you surely do own.

Then walk out that door. Or insist on changes.

You may be strapped and in shock and scared. But lady you are only helpless if you decide to be. Pleading helplessness would be the biggest denial of all.

Cleopatra, hang up the crown. Wake up and smell the coffee. Use some of those very fine caring skills you have to take care of you. You deserve it.
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Hahahaha, good lord Jeanne, I had a sick feeling about what I just posted and then here you come. Snicker snicker snort snort. And cat? How right you are. Ohiogal, you are not a loser. Just somewhere along the way your confidence in WHO YOU ARE has been weakened. Stand up and reclaim that strength. Reclaim the independent, smart, successful woman who is the essence of you. The woman who raised her children with the same values and determination. Hell your only a few hours away. I'll come help you pack. Take some valuables with you to pay down some of your debts. Better yet sell them now so he can't claim you stole the marital property. He'll I should quit watching so much tv. But I can do that now, because I reclaimed my life. YOU CAN TOO!!!
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Elisa1961 - Ok, my husband and I have been married 9 years, but together 10 as of this past May, and I will be totally honest, he is a fantastic when it comes to sex. I guess that is why I am the most sad. It was often & his attentions were on me. Not like many men, were they only satisfied themselves. I felt very special, totally loved. When his daughter moved here to return to school - it slowed down quickly about 2 1/2 years ago, because we were no longer alone. I started gaining weight at that point, so I can't blame it all on his mom. BUT when MIL moved in, it went down to maybe 3 times in one year??? And the last time to be told that he was out of shape & it was too much work to make love to someone so fat??? He wanted his wife back. (So I guess to him it was all about looks. I am 5'7 and was in great physical shape when we met. I was into working out, had a personal trainer, tanned, high on life, very tone with extremely flat stomach and abs. My photo on classmates prove this, photo taken on our honeymoon in 2003. No one believed I was in my 40's, because I looked so much younger. I take after my mother on that one. She is 77 and still beautiful - yes, there are some wrinkles - but she is still shapely with beautiful smiles & flashy eyes. Not overweight at all!!). Anyway, I can't believe I didn't stop eating, realizing what I was doing to myself. Too late now, it's going to be hard to take this much off. And he confuses me - one minute he doesn't want to be bothered and tells me so, then he comes around with chocolate covered strawberries he has made - giving me a couple, saying he knew I would like the treat. He does little things, but then it's hard to appreciate them when the bigger things that hurt is destroying all feelings. I can't forget the way he pushed me away that one night. Like I was too ugly to touch. Well, he pretty much said I was too ugly to touch. He is very blunt. He does not soft soap anything. When he says something, he really means it. That's why I know he is not kidding if I left, locks would be changed. And it would be a royal fight to get what is mine. I know how mean he was to his ex-wife, still has things that are hers out of spite. But he does so many other good things for people - and he is admired by many. He is extremely smart & funny. Except since his mom moved in, our house is not a happy home, full of laughter anymore. It's stressed & no one really talks. It's like we are all ignoring each other because he says I nag too much over his mom. Why can't I understand that he needs to provide her a home and care? He is her son? So our relationship is so strained - I don't know how to fix it.
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cattails, maybe I should not have used the word loser, but to me it sounded better than "I am dumb, ignorant, not smart" at the moment. How can I be 57 and make such bad decisions? and I feel so guilty that "my side of the family" is not able to visit me, well I have told them the conditions here regarding bacteria & I do not want my grandchildren to get sick - and I have to help out with the care of my MIL, so until conditions change here, please let me come to you instead. But that hasn't worked. I have an appt tomorrow with our cities senior home care facility, I hope to get some answers. If I can get MIL under wraps, I want to try to see if I can fix what is broke in my marriage. If not, then I tried and I can move on with no regrets. This is my second marriage and I dont want a third. If this doesn't work, I am done with men. I am serious on that point.
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Ohio: I don't think you know what it is to be loved. I could write forever on this, but I don't want to do that because you would get lost is the words.

You are not loved. Maybe the sex was good with this man vs the last, but you are not loved.

In a mature relationship, weight gain from stress is a symptom. The problem needs to be solved. If your spouce is the problem and will not admit it, then you are not loved.

I don't enjoy saying this to you, but their is a difference between sex, infatuation, self indulgence and LOVE.

You have a therapist now so talk about this. What is love? You have many good years ahead of you. You can waste them or live them. Your choice. So sorry to be hurtful, but you are going to be hurt no matter what I say.

Cattails
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Ohio: I also want to say that it is gracious of you to address almost every person who has resonded to you in a personal and individual way. I've been meaning to say that. Do what is best for you and, having said that, you need help knowing what is best for you. You are under the VOODOO love spell. It's not love, it's voodoo. You can do so much better, but you have to respect yourself. Cattails.
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JeanneGibbs, no no no - I did not mean that if I left I had to pay for her care... no. If I left, the locks would be changed and good luck. I am out.
Here is my issue. MIL can not be left alone. His daughter knows it. I know it. His sister knows it, but my husband feels the home is never without someone for hours - so it's ok if she is alone for 3 to 4 hours, just tell her to watch tv and behave. (Hmmm...when I say I am going out, she starts calling people, starts looking for food, goes through drawers and sometimes does crazy things that don't make sense). She is a fall risk. Her legs are so weak and shaky, sometimes even when I am here, I will go to her to make sure she can walk to bedroom or bathroom ok. I can't be a cold person and just let her fall. When her ankles swell, I care. When she bruises herself from catching herself from a fall and hitting the wall or a door, I care. When she tells me that she is having an anxiety attack, I care. When she lays in bed, crying and asking to die, my heart breaks. I care. Who else is there? She doesn't have any friends. Her neighbors don't want to talk to her because she isn't the same person and some of the blunt things she says offends them. But after doing all I do for her, and for no reason - she wants to pick a fight, and she is good at it, knowing how to hurt with words.
Now, what I meant by "paying for a caregiver" is this. My mother in law refuses to pay for care because she feels she is fine. She gets mad when I watch her too closely. My husband refuses to pay for a caretaker, when she has money & freely throws it out to her daughter and grandchildren. SO, he says, if I want to work, and NOT take care of her - then who is going to watch her? He says he isn't missing work, not when it's HIS income paying the bills because real estate sucks and I need a new career field. He wants to then throw his mom to his sister, who throws her back to us, can't handle her. Then he says, so if my sister won't care for her, she will have to go to a nursing home but says this in way I am sickened with guilt. BUT if I can find a way to get help in the home, go for it - as long as he doesn't have to pay anything. Which I am trying to do, but being told that she has too much in savings to qualify for assistance paid care. Which brings me back to ground zero. I have an appt tomorrow with the local agency to see what assistance if any available, and if not, what 's the cost. I am so tired of taking care of her, I am willing to pay at this point. So I can back on my feet before my career totally sinks. I can't afford to have that kind of reputation - to let my clients down. Thank goodness for a couple close associates that have been kind enough to help out. Otherwise I would be jobless for sure. It's hard to sort through what to do, when to do it, how to do it, am I sure that I am making right decisions, am I sure that my husband really knows that I hurt so bad and one day, may walk out the door? I don't know. But I don't want to think that way yet ... I think this whole mess has turned all of us in the family against each other so we say mean things because none of us know what to do. No, I absolutely do not resent my step daughter from helping, I appreciate what she does. I just don't understand how my husband honors her words over mine. That is what I resent - never her. I care a lot about her & it is important for her to finish school to be able to take care of herself as an adult, make a good living in a career she loves.
I know situations bring out the worst in people, I do not deny that. But when the problem is removed or a situation changes, the hurts that were caused are not forgotten but it could be worse. I know he is not cheating on me, he is just tuning me and his mom out because he doesn't know what to do either. He broke down and cried this weekend, too. He says his mom is dying before his eyes. Why is she acting this way? Long story.
What I don't get is the fact he is unwilling to help me out with additional care. It would solve some issues....
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cattails, maybe you are right and I am just afraid of the truth. Maybe he really does not want me, love me, and I am being used. I'll be thinking hard on this. I just thought that it was this situation bringing out the worst in all of us, praying after it is over, we could go back to how things were. I just don't know anymore. I just don't know. Quitting for now - heading for bed. Good night.
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OhioGal, I doubt very much that you are going to find financial aid for taking care of MIL. Not because you and your husband own too many assets ... because SHE does. Why on earth should taxpayers or a charity pay for her care when she writes big checks to some of her relatives? She has resources. She should pay.

Your husband isn't going to pay for a caregiver. That is reasonable enough. Why should he? SHE should pay her own way. Since she can, she should be paying room and board and for whatever services she needs. But his denial/excuse is that she doesn't need a caregiver. Bull poop. He will not see that she is behaving selfishly by not paying for care. She's his mother. She's dying. She couldn't possibly be doing anything wrong. Fine and dandy if this game playing only affected the two of them. But who is getting hurt by this ridiculous unwillingness to see the truth right in front on him? YOU are.

Here is another truth that somebody should be facing: Her daughter can't handle her. Her son won't pay for in-home care and won't insist that she pay for it. So ... she cannot live with a daughter or son. Sorry. That is the reality. Moms can live with a child or more than one child in turns ONLY IF THE CHILD IS WILLING AND ABLE to handle that. Her daughter isn't. Her son isn't. (And her impairments are severe. I do not hold it against them that they can't/won't do it. I don't believe children have an obligation to personally provide 24/7 care no matter what.)

You think the only alternative is for you to step into the gap and devote your life and/or you income to see that she gets the level of care she needs and deserves. Sorry. That's more bull poop. There are good care centers out there. She can probably afford a very fine one. Visit her frequently. Advocate for her good care. You can probably actually develop a decent relationship with the old gal when you don't have the full-time responsibility to keep her from falling or scalding herself or doing self-destructive things.

You say that if you walk out of this relationship you are never going to have another man in your life. How could that possibly be worse than the situation you are in now? How could you have less sex (for example) than you are having now? You couldn't live without cold rejection? You need unreasonable demands to feel alive? What? OK, so no one might bring you the occasional dipped strawberry. Here's news: you can dip your own and have them anytime you want. Surely you don't seriously think that sticking with any man is better than having no man?

I look back on all the excuses I made for my first husband's behavior. I wish someone could have gotten through to me with a wakeup call. So that is the service I am trying to provide to you. I know absolutely nothing about your situation that you haven't told us. So obviously you do know how bad it is, if you'd just admit what you are seeing.

I am very familiar with that self-delusional brand of denial. Been there. Done that. Burned the tee-shirt and not going back.
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Ohiogal, my apologies. My outrageous humor sometimes get the best of me. I really do not mean to offend anyone. And I am sorry if I have. My daughter just told me,"your in a mood today". My "mood", I guess was your reply to me was he even makes chocolate covered strawberries for me. And the man calls you fat? Sometimes it takes someone else looking in to see what we can't, or just too dam scared to see for ourselves. And I believe you see what's happening. My thought are you need validation that what you see and what you feel are real. I do believe you are a strong woman. A compassionate woman. But you so deserve that love in return.
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Jeanne, Cat & Elisa - you gals are just spot-on!

Ohio - the only thing I would like to add to the comments are:
Do you have any real idea of what happened in his first marriage? Is all your info on it coming from the olde' chocolate dipper himself? What is the relationships between the mother/ex-wife and her children - there is a daughter who lives with you, correct? What is her take on marriage # 1 and why is she living with dad and not mom? Are there other kids and what's their relationship with dad and mom?

History tends to repeat itself. So what he did with wife # 1 is likely what he is doing to you and he's learned from that marriage and is better (and more clever at being demeaning) at it. So she was unfaithful and he got all boohoo about it.....I bet he laid that one thick on you and how much he hurt. The reality probably was that he stopped having sex with her and was controlling and demeaning to her too. But she decided to find someone else for sex since that aspect of their marriage wasn't happening and she had the balls to walk.

I'm in the group for you to go to see one of your kids for a long visit. But please check with the daughter-in-laws to see what works best for them and ask let them know that if they want to plan a get away, you are there to take care of the house and the grandkids. Then do it!
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Ohio, I'm not married and never been. But, I have 3 out of 4 sisters who married or were in an abusive relationship. From the beginning of your thread, I was getting so upset and ...angry at you...If Lisa had not spoken the way she did, I would have! And no pussy-footing it, either! I'm sorry, my sister went through what you are going through, and I Did Nothing because It Was Her Decision, Her Life. And it almost killed her (but it killed her baby inside her. Long Story.) Most of the words you said - were the words that my favorite sister's to me(years after her abusive relationship ended)...except she didn't have a husband, she had a boyfriend (Thank God they're no longer together!)

1. His money was His, and Her money was Theirs. She made more money than him. When he finished her paycheck, she would come to me and borrow money (not telling me that it was for him because Everybody Knew I Didn't Like Him. They all thought I was jealous of him but I saw how he was treating her.)

2. When he came into the scene, she drastically stopped seeing me. We always did things together. (She's now married to a wonderful man. He always encourages her to come and be with me every weekend!) Anyway, back with that boyfriend - they had 2 beautiful girls, but he always came first in her life...and because she loved him - she spent all her time with him. I ended up caring for those 2 little girls. It upset my sis when they called me mommy. (Up to this day, they still consider me their 2nd mother.) Doesn't this sound familiar? Except your hubby is preventing you from seeing Your Kids!

3. When she was dating him, she started having such an inferior complex. She's too fat, her dress is too short, she's this and she's that. I kept reassuring her that she's not but she never believed me. Sad to say, up to now, she still struggles with this. He treated her like sh-- so that she believe that no guy would find her pretty. Like your hubby, he had to work late at nights, or he's out with his friends, etc...Except he was fooling around. People knew and never told her. How do you think that affects your self-esteem?
4. She loved him so much, even when he shot her in the stomache and killed their son inside. The baby was going to be born soon and they were just waiting for him to "drop". Do you know that he had the Nerve to Blame Her for the death of their child?! He told her that she had no right to grieve.

Ohio, don't you see this attitude in your own hubby's??? Love Is Not Blind! Do you know what a man would do for the wife he loves? Please go to Lisa's thread on about her mother moving in 2 years ago and how to get her out. It's a long thread, but take your time reading it. Read, meditate on it, compare Lisa's situation with your MIL. The abuse is there. But, Lisa's husband was there for Lisa. Just as my sister's husband is there for my sis. He knows how close we are and he knows that his wife needs me (to do girl talks). Just read her thread, okay? I worry about you. You're not a slave. You're his wife but he's treating you like a slave.

READ, MEDITATE, APPLY. And Ohio, if at the conclusion and understanding and awareness descends upon you, and you still want to be with hubby and slave after MIL with YOUR money or YOUR health, then So Be It. But, I'd really rather you didn't. You will never find happiness in that. Take Care! Hugs to you.
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I think a lot of Ohio's issue is security too. That's why a lot of women who are being abused don't leave, don't file charges, or return to the relationship or start-up a similar abusive relationship. They want the security, perhaps subconsciously, of having a house, car, paying the bills, fixing things etc. She probably thinks she couldn't do that financially, nor have the time, without him.

An ugly cycle. I don't want to hurt Ohio's feeling either. But, I think cattails is correct that..."you need help knowing what is best for you." At the risk of hurting feelings and saying things that Ohio doesn't see or want to hear...there's a need for bluntness here. We can only hope...that Ohio will absorb it.
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"He broke down and cried this weekend, too. He says his mom is dying before his eyes. Why is she acting this way?"

OK. Hubby needs to get educated about dementia. He is trying to stay in denial, and that is something we can all understand. I don't think any of us were willing and able let alone eager to see it or recognize it in our own parents when it started happening, but it becomes a fact you can't go on ignoring. I'm a physician and I'll readily admit I did not see it with my own parents at first - I wondered what Mom really wanted and why what she said she wanted did not make sense epsecially compared to what she did and did not do, and why Dad started to be dishinibited and could not send me e-mails or play Solitaire on the computer any more. Since I'm a pediatrician and not a geriatrician, and it was a STEEP learning curve. And, I had to get educated on finances and the differences between skilled nursing and assisted living, and what all the options on home care, day programs, and respite were all about. If you don't want to or financially can't consider the nursing home, there ought to be something between that and home needing 24-7 care and supervision and getting no help. I won;t hold out a lot of hope that her condition could be improved, but at least one comprehensive geriatic evaluation could be done and possibly medications tried or adjusted. I only know resources in Arkansas and SW Pennsylvania to recommend, but depending where you are in Ohio the Benedum center with UPMC is very, very good with this and the SW with the program would be of a great deal of help.

If hubby really WANTS to know "why she is acting this way" he is going to have to come with you and hear it straight up first hand. I suppose I'm like you and can see the resaons for still holding out hope that the denial is a big enough part of why your husband can disregard how abusive this situation is of you, and that once he is able to let go and see what is going on he might be able to be more loving and decent again and re-invest in your marriage. You have to recognize though that denial most commonly happens when someone simply can't face reality; its not the sort of thing you can smash with a hammer as much as you'd like to. Being in the hands of people who deal with this often, who can explain gently and begin to let you and hubby know that you are not alone in this, that many others have been there and found enough support to get through it, may allow it him to release it and begin to deal with what is, however sad or difficult it may be.

If he can't or won't do that - either way - you really are going to have to do something else besides sit around hoping things will get better, however uncomfortable it makes you feel, or how much the "I can't possibly, because..." reactions come to mind. You have to un-box yourself and get ready to deal with reality too.
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OhioGal, PLEASE don't do this to yourself. Having survived and escaped abuse myself, I know it when I hear it. As long as you continue to enable MIL and husband, and rest of family/relatives, it will continue. The present situation is too comfortable and profitable to them to let you live like a human being, rather than a slave. I myself had to "fight back" to save my sanity - talk to an attorney with feminist credentials - sounds like you need to lose this husband. I don't know what Ohio allows in terms of community property, but the key here is to find out where you stand, whatever you decide ultimately to do. You need knowledge of your options. You may need to talk to adult protective services, explain that MIL cannot care for herself and that since you are not her conservator, you CAN WALK AWAY, and then do it. Otherwise, should you manage to outlive her - don't count on that, you will simply find yourself talking care of an aging husband, trapped because you don't have the money to run, and believe me, when you need help, he won't be there. Frankly, I don't see the point of doing this. Has anyone considered that if MIL had continued to live along, she would be found dead in her home or property, and that SHE MAY WANT IT THAT WAY! I've known more than one person who truly wants to do it my way til they drop dead - the idea of helplessness is so terrifying that it is more merciful not to put them through a slow decline since death is inevitable anyway. I know guilt supervenes in most cases, but it seems to me that MIL would have been better served by being given those extra hours to simply die outside her home. Really, isn't it torture to keep someone going by using extraordinary means? The paramedics were probably proud of themselves for "saving" MIL, but I'll bet if you asked her for an honest answer, she would say "they should have got lost."
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vstefans has given you some very caring and compassionate input. And there is also a glimmer of hope in her answer. MAYBE getting beyond hubby's denial will allow you both to work on the marriage.

rovana has gotten back to the basics here. I urge you to see a lawyer. That doesn't mean you have to take immediate steps. You can still try to work toward a better resolution in place. But NOW, before you do anything else or he does anything else, find out exactly where you stand financially and how to protect your share of the joint assets. Maybe this is a totally unnecessary precaution. Maybe your marriage can get back on track. Maybe you husband would not really exploit the situation further and cheat you finanically.

But it is better to be safe than sorry. Better to act from a position of knowledge than from ignorance.

See a lawyer, first.
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