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I have reached my breaking point with my clients daughter. I have yet to hear her say one civil word to her mother. I try to intervene by getting Ruth involved in something, or get her a piece of fruit, ect. But here lately the daughter has been talking to me the same way. I have finally just stopped speaking to her period, so that I can stay professional and not upset Ruth with any more confusion. I am not the type person to set back and let someone talk that way . Her husband came by today, and said there was obvious tension and it needed to get worked out. YA THINK!!!!, I kept my answer to the point. If she want to try and reach some sort of compromise,, then she is the one who needs to initiate the conversation. I put it right back on her. I am very ok not talking to her. So we will see what happens. I will not abandon this lady to God knows what. I am a grown woman and can handle anything thrown at me. The husband can be the one I communicate with. I want to part of the solution not part of the problem..

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Thank you all so much for your support.And yes, naheaton, I am a live-in caregiver for a late stage Alzheimer client. SHE is my only concern. Have worked for the past two months getting her on a schedule, feeding her good food, keeping her clean. And yes if the husband wants to be the go-between that is fine with me. I am not in the position to tell the daughter to not come here. But I will eventually say something to her about the way she talks to her mother. Maybe if I am lucky she will get mad and not come back for awhile. They won't fire me, because the daughter does not want this job. So thanks again, everyone, it feels so good to have support from those that know.....
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@ Naheaton - Right on. So true. I truly couldn't have said it better myself. As a matter of fact me and my husband went through a similar situation. KUDOS!!
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Ladeeda, I'm not familiar with what's going on, but it sounds like you're a paid care taker for a lady (Ruth). I would think your first responsibility would be to her and her welfare. If having this woman's daughter come and visit is causing Ruth to have stress and agitation, then I would put a stop to it. I would tell the younger woman that your duty is to her mother, and that by having her come over it is causing undue stress and there needs to be a change. The family problems should have been worked out decades ago evidently, not now and not at the expense of your patient. And you're right, if the husband doesn't mind being the go-between, then let him.
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Stand your ground and keep doing the good work. Good for you. This world needs more compassionate caregivers like yourself standing beside the ones who have no voice. KUDOS !!!
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