Mom has Altzheimers and has lived with me for 8 years. She pays her own way at day care and for part time sitters. I carry her to daycare, shopping, and doctors. Each day I help her bathe, dress, fix breakfast, give pills and do breathing and other treatments as well. At night I do the same thing and laundry. The past year has been rough for me financially. I would like for mother to pay me for 5 hrs a day at the same rate she pays her other sitters. I asked irs about this and they said it might be a problem since she was living in my home but they did not provide me with a definitive answer. It seems to me that I should be able to get paid like the other sitters. Does anyone know the rules?
sorry that is not the solution is to put my dad in a nursing hm i would never do that my family is being vindictive and thats all my dad chose me above them and now look my dad has not lasted he in the hos now becasue of my selfish sisters and brother he is sick now and they tried to hid it from us he has pnumonia now i have beeen gone two weeks so regardless if i spent my dad money or not i took dame good care of him i lost two good jobs because my family didn't want to help me but they wanted to take me to court but they can't even take care of him but they want control they can't even control their own HOME
I HAVE CARED FOR MY MOTHER IN MY HOUSE FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS. ABOUT A MONTH AGO, SINCE MOM HAD BOTH MY BROTHER AND I ON HER CHECKING AND SAVINGS ACCOUNT, HE WENT AND GOT A FEW MONTHS OF HER BANK STATEMENTS FROM HER CHECKING ACCOUNT. THIS WAS DONE WHILE MOM WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A MONTH AND TWO DAYS WITH CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE AGAIN.
NEXT THING YA KNOW.. HE IS CALLING ME ACCUSING ME OF STEALING MONEY FROM MY MOM.. I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS NUTS. HE STARTED LISTING THE FACT THAT SHE PAYS THE UTILITES HERE IN MY HOUSE.. THIS IS SOMETHING WE BOTH AGREED UPON WHEN SHE MOVED IN HERE. I HAD TO BUY A HOUSE IN ORDER TO CARE FOR HER CUZ MY DUPLEX WAS JUST TO SMALL AND HAD STAIRS SHE COULD NOT USE DUE TO SEVERE NEUROPATHY IN HER LEGS DUE TO DIABETIES.
SO THE DEAL WAS THIS.. SHE PAID THE UTILITIES. I MAKE THE HOUSEPAYMENT, PAY THE TAXES AND INSURANCE ON THE HOUSE AND WE BOTH PUT IN $200 A MONTH FOR GROCERIES AS WE BOTH LIKE TO EAT GOOD AND GROCERIES ARE EXPENSIVE. ALL THIS IS STUFF MY BROTHER FEELS IS ALL PERSONAL AND MOM SHOULD NOT BE PAYING ANYTHING.
MOM ALSO HAS AT TIMES TOLD ME TO TAKE A HUNDRED HERE OR A COUPLE HUNDRED AND GO DO SOMETHING FOR MYSELF OR BUY SOMETHING I NORMALLY WOULDNT BUY...
WHEN HE ACCUSED ME OF STEALING FROM MOM. I WENT BALISTIC ON HIM. I TOLD HIM HOW MUCH MY AUNT IS PAYING FOR 24/7 CARE AND IF HE WANTED ME TO I COULD LEAGLY CHARGE MOM THE SAME.. THERE IS A SET PRICE OF $30 AND HOUR IN THE STATE OF ILLINOIS.
SO IF HE WANTS TO ARGUE ABOUT ANY OF THE PIDDLY SHIT MOM HAS GIVEN ME OVER THE LAST THREE YEARS, BY GOD I WAS READY TO.
I CALLED MY LAWYER AND EXPLAINED WHAT MY BROTHER WAS ACCUSING ME OF. HE TOLD ME TO FORBID MY BROTHER FROM COMING TO MY HOUSE AND IF HE SHOWED UP TO CALL THE POLICE AND HAVE HIM REMOVED FROM MY PROPERTY.
THIS IS A GUY WHO LIVES 7 MILES FROM MY HOUSE.. VISITED MOM MAYBE ONCE A MONTH AND STAYED FOR A HALF HOUR OR SO.. AND HAD THE GALL TO TELL ME IT'S HIS MONEY TOO!!!! I SAID EXCUSE ME.. ITS NOT YOUR MONEY OR MY MONEY.. ITS MOMS AND NO ONE ELSES AND SHE HAS A RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO WITH IT...
SINCE THEN I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM AT ALL. I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY TONS OF FOLKS TO START CHARGING MY MOM AT LEAST 2K A MONTH FOR HER CARE AND JUST BANK THE MONEY. I CAN'T DO IT THOUGH.. TO ME ITS JUST NOT RIGHT... BUT IF MOM GIVES ME MONEY OR BUYS SOMETHING FOR ME.. I ACCEPT IT WILLINGLY. I HAVE WOKED MY BUTT OFF TAKING CARE OF HER AND HAVE PUT MY OWN LIFE ON HOLD ALSO. I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE AT ALL WITHOUT FINDING SOMEONE TO CARE FOR HER WHILE I RUN TO THE STORE OR WHEREEVER ELSE I NEED TO GO... AND I TOLD MOM SHE HAS TO PAY THESE PEOPLE $10 AN HOUR TO CARE FOR HER WHEN I NEED TO DO THINGS.. SHE AGREED TO IT...
THE PROBLEM LIES IN THE MENTAL STATE OF THE PATIENT YOU ARE CARING FOR. IF THEY ARE FINE..YOU CAN CHARGE THEM IF THEY AGREE TO IT.. IF THEY ARE NOT GOOD MENTALLY.. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT... AT THAT POINT IT BECOMES STEALING .... AND SAD TO SAY THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT EXCEPT PUT THE PERSON IN A NURSING HOME AND LET THE GOVERNMENT TAKE CARE OF THEM...
i understand what your talking about but the thing is my family all have borrowed money from my dad and has not paid him back the ones that took me to court now its rap into what im suppose to pay back thats not FAIR AT ALL but all i can say is my dad didn't start getting bad til early this yr but you can't tell them nothing they are running the show now after i have since my mom passed and it been 5 yrs it hurts and i will never forgive them for this im currently writing a book about them my family and boy when all this get out i will have the last laugh it not about getting back at them its that like i said before i gave up my life for 5 yrs and more and THIS is the thanks i get. i did my part with my mom and dad they haven't, didn't and never will except now because my 59 yr old sister needs a place to stay she doesn't want to take care dad she just needs a olace to stay but every dog has their DAY!!!!!!!
TRACY
Thank You My friend
rick
i tried that it did'nt work i don't know who can help me i will just pay back i guess i don't know what to do im very hurt i cry everynite thinking why my family did this i have an older sister she didn't even want to take care of our mom she just doing this cause she has no place to stay so they all got together took me to court and now making me move out and her and 13 people in her family move in its not gonna be good for dad you not suppose to change on a alz patient like that but they don't care they never did they don't even come and see him i heard thru the grapevine the reason why they don't come down here is becausee of me the bull no one will keep me from seeing my parents i don't care what the circumstances are she didn't care about mom and i know she don't care about dad the thing is i wouldn't lend her no money she can't even take care of her home she been envicted out so many places since my mom pass an as of today my mom been gone for 5 yrs, now i must remind you she is 58 yrs old she builds her life around her kids she has no husband nothing this all started this summer so im screwed
All this depends on your state having a program called Cash and Counseling, or a similar program. Your parent can apply for Medicaid and Cash and Counseling, or for a similar state cash assistance program, at your local Medicaid office. To find the local Medicaid (social services) office near you, contact the Eldercare Locator by phone toll-free at 800-677-1116, or go online to any search engine and type in the word Medicaid plus the name of your state. Good Luck, Ila